‘Broad City’ season 3, episode 7: ‘In da clurb, we all fam’

In the club, we are all family. Via screenshot.

In the club, we are all family. Via screenshot.

Real talk: There’s been a lot of chatter among fans this season about why we haven’t been laughing as hard or quoting as many lines or immediately re-watching Broad City episodes. In fact, Vulture postulated just this week that Broad City may have lost “it,” going so far as to call the broads “sad,” “not into it anymore,” and even overcompensating for a lack of good writing. That was way harsh, Tai. But they truly lost me when they compared it to the epic eyeroll-fest that is Girls.

I love these women and their characters and the entire writer’s room with all of my heart, so I’d like to suggest we shake the haters off and gaze upon this week’s return to form. This episode was so good, you guys. We’re honing in on the original recipe here: fab females, NYC realness, in-jokes, dance montages, Hannibal Buress and a little absurdism. I can’t wait for Abbi and Ilana to start using the new Snapchat, tho!

This week’s ep is jam-packed with Broad City’s trademark smart, feminist comedy: A male NYPD officer tells Abbi that “boys are the worst” after she’s robbed by one, Blake Griffin muses that women are “always making things better” in reference to the WNBA, and we see Ilana and Lincoln’s relationship evolve into a mutually respectful, healthy openness. 

As many of us have considered doing when our paychecks are lighter than we’d like, the gals decide to Airbnb their apartments to make some extra cash. They bag renters immediately because it’s New York, baby; Ilana hosts an older Asian couple, Abbi gives her keys to a hot-ish French bro, and the two of them relocate to a tent on Ilana’s roof for the night.

If you didn’t lose your shit when their tent blew off the roof, you should probably watch that whole scene again. Homeless but hopeful and lacking friends to call for help, they opt to simply stay out all night in the city that never sleeps. 

Brokelyn broad city wind roof blown away

It’s once again unclear why they’d head to Manhattan — Flatiron, no less — for a night out, but the payoff this time is huge. LA Clippers’ Blake Griffin-sized, even. When the broads overhear a random dude relaying the deets about a party at the 40/40 club as they casually walk down Broadway eating nuts (as all New Yorkers do), they Project Runway their outfits — to perfection, I might add — and head straight to the clurb.

It’s great to know that Abbi and Ilana’s version of the 40/40 club matches mine. In reality, it’s more like a bunch of aggro-bros watching sports and eating expensive chicken wings — so I’ll pass — but I would absolutely party at this imaginary venue.

Brokelyn broad city hair flip don't care

Ilana and Blake’s not-quite-sex scene was a delightful epitome of feminist fantasy porn that I never wanted to end. Frankly, a naked dance party followed by pizza in bed is my ideal Friday night. Bonus points for the type of gentleman who will get you off creatively to compensate for his oversized member. The dream, amirite?

In the end, we all knew there was something shady happening with Abbi’s renter (and this definitely happens in real life), but I’m glad it opened up the opportunity for her to finally hook up with Trey. You can fantasize about seemingly romantic foreigners all you want, but sometimes you realize the dude who comes over to keep you safe from your scary Airbnb-er has been right in front of you all along. Trey’s character development is best in show and just ahead of Bevers, tbh.

We picked out the references you may have missed, the moments we’re still talking about and the gifs you need in your life right now:

Moment that made us scream YAS, QUEEN: I love when these broads ball out, don’t you?

Brokelyn broad city best friends yes bitch da club

Spotify sync: K Rizz’s “Yes Bitch” is your new hype song.

Best Lincoln line: “This is Blake Griffin’s shoe. I’m using it as a murse — a male purse. We’re Eskimo brothers,” he tells a hot dog vendor and probably also everyone he meets.

The fruits of an open relationship.

The fruits of an open relationship.

Actual real New York thing that got super, super real: True story: a friend of mine recently skipped town for a few weeks and sublet her spot in Greenpoint to a dude who somehow distributed actual pubes throughout her apartment, in addition to possibly leaving a bloodstain on the floor and definitely changing his Facebook profile photo to one of himself wearing her winter hat. She then spent $200 changing her locks. Be careful who you give your keys to, y’all.

Best pun: As Ilana makes moves to climb Blake the beanstalk, she sends Abbi home to satisfy her “bon[e] appétit[e].”

Best cameo: Blake Griffin, you may have recently punched an equipment manager and earned yourself a four-game suspension, but you are charming as fuck. Bonus points to the broad squad for yet another perfect character creation.

Black lives matter: The cops show up to help Abbi after she’s robbed, but leave quickly after being called to deal with a unidentified black man, sitting on a bench, “pretending to read a book.” Keeping it 100.

Gif of the week: 

Brokelyn broad city blake griffin face sitting

Catch up on previous Broad City episodes here.

Follow Meghan on Twitter for more high-ponytail worship: @meghannn