BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from going to purgatory to life lessons from Ethan Hawke

This is the new way standup comedy happens. Photo by Matt Lief Anderson, via Facebook

This is the new way standup comedy happens. Photo by Matt Lief Anderson, via Facebook

Oh no it’s raining and kind of cold today. Let’s forget all about that nice weather we’ve all been having and moan about the everlasting darkness in our lives from now until April probably. It’s all over, all over. Well, that’s fine, that doesn’t mean there isn’t fun stuff to be found on the Brokelyn Events Calendar, so you should still get out there and enjoy yourself. It’s good for the soul.

DEEP-ER-NESS
Comedians, as we all know, make their bones by exploring subjects both goofy and serious, but make sure to wring laughs out of the serious ones. Tonight, comedian Joe Zimmerman will make comedians like Josh Gondelman and Ted Alexandro do sets based on only serious material and, and then sit uncomfortably close to him to be answer ridiculous questions.
9:45pm, Union Hall, 702 Union Avenue, Park Slope, $10

ETHAN HAWKE: RULES FOR A KNIGHT
You might not realize it, but Ethan Hawke is more than just the star of films like GattacaSinister 2 and Assault on Precinct 13. He’s also a writer, and tonight he’s talking about his new book Rules For A Knight, which is a parable that tells the tale of a medieval knight imparting advice on how to live a noble life to his children before he rides off the battle. This is probably your one chance to get life advice from an Oscar nominee, so don’t miss it.
7pm, Bookcourt, 163 Court Street, Cobble Hill, FREE

PLOW TO PLATE: GROWING CHANGE
Hey wanna experience a little Existential Dread Tuesday? Perfect, because tonight you can see the movie Growing Change, which explores the way that modern farming and especially the use of soil-depleting agriculture chemicals, is making it harder for farmers to grow food. Which is of course, we need to live. A good scare about the future of humanity, that’s just what you’ll need to carry you through Wednesday tomorrow.
Park Slope Food Conference, 782 Union Street, Park Slope, FREE

COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS: SEVEN MINUTES IN PURGATORY
The whole idea of live performance is that the performer, be they musician or comedian or interpretative dancer, feeding off the energy of the crowd. Seven Minutes in Purgatory tweaks that equation by placing comedians in a soundproof location away from the audience and streams their sets, forcing them to go on without knowing if anyone is laughing or reacting at all. Will they go crazy? Just rush through it? Do something you’ve never seen before? Find out, when the likes of Aparna Nancherla, Seaton Smith, Dave Hill and musical guest Dan Deacon perform but don’t see you staring at them.
Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Gowanus, $8

SASS: TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT PROJECTS
What has the government been doing while you aren’t looking? Or even worse, what have they been doing in secret while you’ve stared really hard at them? The Society for the Advancement of Social Studies doesn’t want to make you paranoid, but tonight they’re going to let you know about the U.S. government’s use of assassination, animal-inspired military technology and The Stargate Project. Holy shit wait…was Stargate really a documentary?
8pm, The Bedford, 101 Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE