03/05/15 4:55pm
Choose wisely

Choose wisely

Brooklyn duo Ex Cops faced a classic dilemma this week: should they play a free showcase sponsored by McDonald’s at South by Southwest, that annual conference in Austin where #buzz is forged in the fires of a Mount Doom-like industry volcano? Or should they turn down the exposure to dozens of fish-filet stained faces in lieu of something with no buzz factor, like artistic integrity and refusing to be part of a brand’s attempts to be a hip brand? Ex Cops turned McD’s down, and wrote an open letter explaining why they wouldn’t play for free for a company worth $90.3 billion. McDonald’s responded in with the text equivalent of finding a chicken head in your box of McNuggets. Anyway, should you find yourself in a similar dilemma, we made a quiz to help you decide what to do. (more…)

Don't forget to tit your bartender. Via Boobie Trap Facebook.

Don’t forget to tit your bartender. Via Boobie Trap Facebook.

Boobie Trap
308 Bleecker St., (at Irving), Bushwick,
347-240-9105

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What it is: A funky corner bar that looks like a little girl’s dream room crossed with a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Why we love it: The vibe here is pure adult sleepover party fun: boobs adorn the walls, and the tables are inlaid with board games like Candyland and Scrabble. Grab a page of the rated-R coloring books or study the collection of dolls hanging around the bar.

What to order: The selection here is gloriously cheap and divey, full of good cans like cheap speckled hen and value meal beer-and-shot specials. The bar’s food menu is the tits too: it’s loaded with BBQ, such as pulled pork, spare ribs and smoked seitan, with sides like potato salad, baked beans and brussel sprouts.

Regular tip: Owner Kristen North was a bartender at several spots around the city including the Knitting Factory before opening Boobie Trap last year. At night, the curtain comes down and the bar’s signature “Fuck off” sign glows in all its glory.

02/18/15 4:28pm
Just look at the joy Belle & Sebastian brought to Prospect Park in 2013. Via Celebrate Brooklyn.

Just look at the joy Belle & Sebastian brought to Prospect Park in 2013. Via Celebrate Brooklyn.

This is it, folks: the absolute worst time of year. The holidays are long gone, summer is way off and even the hope that you might get some desperate sad lonely person to take you home on Valentine’s Day has passed. You are desperately in need of a beacon of light at the end of this long, negative-wind-chill, slush flooded tunnel. You need a dose of spring. Failing any actual warm weather (though we might see a practically balmy 45 degrees this weekend!), try this recipe instead: take 1 part Scottish indie pop, mix in a heavy cup of twee, run it through a filter of sunny disposition and shake your booty vividly.

We’re recommending Saturday’s cheap Belle & Sebastian dance party from our friends at Feeling Gloomy as the perfect antidote for the seasonal blues. It’s cheap, it’s fun, and you can win prizes too. It beats spending your weekend sleeping the clock around. And, as explained below, it’s possible the band might actually control over the weather. (more…)

Wear this and we could be friends forever.

Wear this and we could be friends forever.

Thanks to Jimmy “Hey Let’s Recreate All of the 90s in Real Time” Fallon, Saved by the Bell nostalgia is at a fever pitch this week. Brooklyn’s minor league baseball team has taken notice too. So tuck your shirt into your jeans because the Coney Island Cyclones announced yesterday they’re hosting a Saved by the Bell night this summer against the Tri-City ValleyCats (yes, that is their actual name). It will feature some of your favorite retro-humping 90s high school gags that are sure to leave a green ring of joy around your finger. Players in the June 24 game will sport those special jerseys above, and the themed antics will include a Zack Morris “TIMEOUT” race around the bases, an Oldest Cell Phone in the Park contest and, naturally, an “I’m so excited!” fan cam. If you’re a fan, you might say this event will take the fun to the MAX. More details on how to screech screech screech for the home team here: (more…)

02/06/15 8:00am
brokelyn beer book

Beer would never break up with you.

Flowers and dour, sweets are beat and all those other heteronormative gifts are really heterBOREmative gifts. This Valentine’s Day, don’t disappoint your boo with some Hallmark-approved shlock (or, heavens forbid, a ticket to see Fifty Shades of Grey). Because instead, what says “I love you” more than “here are 30 free beers now let’s go get druuuuunk”?

Today is the last call to order the Brokelyn Beer Book in time for delivery before Valentine’s Day. Our middle Brooklyn (Park Slope, Cobble Hill, Red Hook, etc) edition already sold out for the year, but you can still buy one for South Brooklyn & Rockaway or our brand new Upper Brooklyn book, which contains coupons for beers at more than 30 bars in Williamsburg, Bushwick, Bed-Stuy and Greenpoint for just $30! Order one here now; they’re only available once a year! (more…)

02/05/15 6:15pm
A classic FIPS post from ye olden days.

A classic FIPS post from ye olden days.

Today an era of Brooklyn blogging came to an end: Fucked in Park Slope, which brought a poison-tongued vitriol to the borough just when it needed it most, is closing up shop. FIPS shined because it was antidote to the pall of yuppiesm that was creeping over the neighborhood. Think back to seven years ago when it first launched (nine decades in blog years): The Atlantic Yards project was still in dispute as Freddy’s dug in its heels to be the last bar evicted from the site that years later would become the Barclays Center; Union Hall was just two years old; you could still go to Southpaw for The Rub dance parties and Googamooga sounded like nonsense words uttered by someone who had just spent too long at O’Connors, squinting to watch the Mets through grainy, antennae-tuned TVs. Brooklyn was still a brand, though a simpler one.

And our stereotypes were neater back then: Williamsburg was hipster Disney World, Crown Heights was a little dicey, Cobble Hill would offer up bits of old-world Italian Brooklyn, and Park Slope was the den of progressive parenthood, where the hottest topic was which bars would accommodate those double-wide strollers while parents drank away the troubles of their coop shift. Amy Sohn was the closest we had to Lena Dunham. Now all the neighborhood stereotypes tend to run together like Frappuccino vomit onto condo windows. What do we lose now that that era is over? (more…)

01/29/15 11:45am
And that's only 12 beers! Photo by Flickr user Paul Joseph

And that’s only 12 beers! Photo by Flickr user Paul Joseph

Clear off your drinking calendars, drown your Drynuary plans and crack open some new pages in your book o’ boozy adventures because the 2015 Brokelyn Beer Books are on sale right now! As Brokelyn readers know, we curate these books every year so you get more than 30 beers at more than 30 of the best beer slinging watering holes, gastropubs, dives and craft beer bars in the borough. We’re doing two editions again for Valentine’s Day: one for Upper Brooklyn (Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Bushwick, etc.) and one for Middle Brooklyn (Park Slope, Red Hook, Crown Heights, Fort Greene, etc), and we have a few of our first ever South Brooklyn & Rockaway book. Update: the Upper and Middle Brooklyn Books are sold out and currently waitlisted. The South Brooklyn Book is still available.

How much would you pay for so much beer? $100? $200? NO! It’s just $30, only here on Brokelyn. Beer Books make a great Valentine’s Day gift, or just a present for a friend/yourself if you’re not into the whole V-Day scene.  The books usually sell out fast, so allow us to introduce our extraordinary lineup. (Pro tip: if you’re buying one for a friend, get one for yourself.):  (more…)

01/25/15 2:00pm
skylark

Skylark, via Facebook

  Skylark 477 Fifth Ave. (between 11th and 12th) South Slope 347-227-8186

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What it is: A popular and inviting joint with floral prints, retro-weird art, snug coaches and a dimly lit grandma’s living room aesthetic.

Why we love it: The shabby chic charm that feels like stepping back into the 70s is hard to resist, and so is the drink menu, which pours retro cocktails like the old fashioned and snacks like tater tots and a waldorf salad. You’ll find old-school pinball in the back and DJ sets on the weekends.

What to order: The 14 drafts include five that rotate from choice kegs, local and rare beers, while the rest feature standards like Captain Lawrence Liquid Gold, Six Point Sweet Action and Allagash White. The kitchen that’s open until midnight on the weekends serves up 70s themed grub like swaddled hogs (cocktail weenies in flaky dough) and cheesy tots.

Regular tip: The bar keeps the 70s theme going for its beer and shot specials: a Cheech and Chong is a Tecate and Espolon tequila; a Dirk Diggler is a Coors tall boy and a shot of Dickel rye. Check out country and delta blues music nights on Wednesday sand vinyl saturday afternoon too.

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01/25/15 1:00pm
Come into the parlor and sit a spell. Photo by Jammi York.

Project Parlor, photo by Jammi York.

Project Parlor
742 Myrtle Ave., Bed-Stuy
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What is it: A charming ragtime parlor bar with a patchwork punk vibe and killer tap selection.

Why we love it: As an early inhabitant of the soon-to-be, maybe-already-is bustling section of Bed-Stuy, this spot has earned its keep among the neighborhood and was voted Best New Bar by the Village Voice in 2012. Despite the status upgrades, we love them because they’ve kept their raucous roots intact and continue to be a destination for quiet drink seekers and late night revelers alike.

What to order: The house’s mulled cider from local Wilklow Orchards spiked with brandy and bourbon is a winter favorite, while spring brings sangria and summer packs some punch. 2-for-1 happy hour beers go well with a seat in the huge back patio, open year-round. Order from one of the more than 30 domestic and international bottles and drafts, including local and gluten free options. The bar is proud of its other cocktails, currently include bacon-infused bourbon and apple concoction they call the “Sir Francis,” and a “White Oaxacan,” a vegan white Russian with Guajillo chile chocolate.

Regular tip: The Parlor’s summertime BBQ showdowns are known borough-wide and have brought in some of the most serious smokers this side of the Mason-Dixon Line. If you’re burned out on BBQ, you can always go for the green fairy, with the old-school absinthe fountain.

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01/25/15 11:00am

the-graham-2

The Graham
151 Meserole St. (at Graham)
East Williamsburg
718-388-4682

What it is: The Graham opens its doors to the neighborhood with totally inviting bartenders and a pretty exquisite happy hour – $2 off everything 3-8 daily.

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Why we love it: It’s not too common to walk into a bar and immediately feel like you are one of the crew’s gang. You can go in by yourself and be guaranteed a good conversation with a bartender, or stop in with your friends who, “just wanna dance” on Saturday night for its DJ and dance floor in the back… you could even take your momma out for their Saturday and Sunday brunch. Catch up on your favorite shows here with HBO sunday night screenings.

What to order: Ask for a recommendation from its 30+ rotating craft beers. If you are hungry and finishing up your night, you should note their all-night snack menu totes deviled eggs, cheese and the works. Try a $1 taco from Monday to Friday. Weekend brunch comes with a bloody mary, complete with a meat straw and blue cheese stuffed olives.

Regular tip: The Graham is home to what it claims is the oldest operating pinball machine in New York City: a 1978 Playboy game.

 

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