07/29/16 6:00pm
Bush Terminal Park, Sunset Park's hidden treasure. Photo by Scott Steinhardt/Brokelyn.

Bush Terminal Park, Sunset Park’s hidden treasure. Photo by Scott Steinhardt/Brokelyn.

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A Brooklyn woman absolutely frappéd her boyfriend in this Craigslist ad.

The L train shutdown became official, and we looked at the consequences.

Ikea made your meatball dreams come true.

Zara ripped off another small designer, and people took action.

We survived the first Panorama, and wondered: Is NYC reaching music fest overload?

A new site started giving landlords/buildings letter grades, just like restaurants.

Jon Stewart made a surprise appearance at The Bell House!

Bed-Stuy vegan bakery Clementine talked to us about their a big expansion.

We introduced you to the best Brooklyn park you’ve never heard of.

We considered quitting our desk jobs to work on a rooftop farm.

Tips tips tips tips: tips [at] brokelyn.com

07/29/16 10:29am
Jonny Stew and J Will at the Bell House last night. Via Facebook.

Jonny Stew and J Will at the Bell House last night. Via Facebook.

It has been a particularly brutal election season made even worse by the lack of Jon Stewart, who used to serve as our nightly pressure release valve who screamed back at you “I AM DUMBSTRUCK ABOUT THESE THINGS TOO YOU’RE NOT CRAZY.” He decided to quit The Daily Show last year before he had to suffer through another election of the same predictable patterns (and who can blame him), but as he left he blew his comedy dandelion into the wind, scattering seeds of smart political talent across the entertainment landscape.

He’s been popping up a few times to check in on his proteges since, with appearances on Samantha Bee’s show and a brief but welcome return to Daily Show form on Stephen Colbert’s show last week. Last night he showed up to check in on another of his former squad in our own backyard: Stewart was the surprise guest at the live taping of the 2 Dope Queens podcast from Daily Show alumna Jessica Williams and comedian Phoebe Robinson. He talked about what he’s been doing since he left the show, how he hired Williams and, like all comedians who come to the Bell House for the first time, made fun of Gowanus. (more…)

07/28/16 2:36pm
Pokemon content just won't stop. All parties are Poke parties now.

Pokemon content just won’t stop. All parties are Poke parties now.

Years from now, when our world is a scorched earth landscape, the last known survivors will huddle for safety around Pokestops, sending scavengers out into the cold gray world to hunt the last remaining Pokemon for food. Gyms will be towering garrisons controlled by tyrannical Pokemasters, cruel potentates who mock your meager HP. You’ll warm your hands over a burning pile of incense and tell your kids there was a time before all things were Pokemon, when you could laugh and sing and dance without having to worry about catching yet another Zubat. They won’t believe you.

We’ve already seen Pokemon Go bar crawls pop up around the city. This Friday, rampant Pokemania continues with a Party at Bushwick’s Father Knows Best: it’s an all-things-pocket-monster party featuring actual Pokemon celebrity Ivy St. Ive, who went viral for her short lived professional Pokemon trainer service. The owners will drop some lures around the bar so you can keep catchin’ em all. And if all this sounds like not enough to get you there: The bar is offering free beer and shot combos to anyone who arrives in costume. (more…)

07/27/16 2:42pm
Salute your jorts? Via Etsy.

Salute your jorts? Via Etsy.

This election is about what kind of country we want. Do we want a nation led by the spoiled lovechild of Yosemite Sam and a late-night tweeting Twitter egg, running around inviting foreign countries to spy on us? Or do we want someone who maybe at least knows how to do the job? Do we want more of Obama’s legacy, or risk it all and take what’s behind blood-soaked curtain No. 2? Do we want diversity or jingoism, fear or hope, Logan or Jess (but never Dean, obvs)? We also need to decide what kind of attire we want to wear in this new country: Do we, as a nation populated with millennials and an obsession with why millennials are Bad, want to be able to wear jorts wherever and whenever we want? Should you be able to wear jorts when casting a historic vote for the nomination of your party?

This is an important question raised by our own Rachel Eve Stein, who is on the floor of the DNC right now as a delegate from New York and has seen at least two people wearing jorts in her own delegation. Yes, it’s hot in Philly, but maybe bump it up to at least business casual, she says.  (more…)

07/27/16 12:17pm
Don't be an L7 weenie: Go see The Sandlot for free.

Don’t be an L7 weenie: Go see The Sandlot for free.

What I love about The Sandlot is that it’s a movie about how stories of childhood told through the eyes of an adult are filtered through the thin vaseline of nostalgic distortion, something we’re all guilty of using. This is why the story of a bunch of kids playing ball on an empty lot is suffused with hyperbolic events and characters out of proportion. The neighbor’s dog, Hercules, was never truly that big and monstrous, the fence never really that towering; Benny was a star of the friend group but rode to levels of mythic neighborhood hero on amplified waves of reverence for someone who loomed so large in their imaginations. When you’re a kid and your world is the neighborhood, even the next yard over seems like a vast unexplored chasm of unchartered territory. You look back and think, man, everything was so big then.

The Sandlot is the perfect summer movie because it lives in the sweet spot of all our collective memories of our childhood summers, those days that probably we remember with sunny glee but maybe never quite existed, running through the streets without any cares except where to find a baseball.

The good news is you’re an adult now so you can be as carefree as you choose with your time: We suggest using some of that time to go watch The Sandlot for free outdoors at Fort Greene Park on Aug. 4. Your childhood self would be proud (bring s’mores).  (more…)

07/26/16 4:54pm
So was Panorama worth the money? New York is dangerously close to reaching music festival glut

Inside the Despacio tent, a James Murphy curated igloo of dancing. Photos by Tim Donnelly/Brokelyn

We were deep in day three, stuck firmly under the heat dome among the festival crowds at Panorama this weekend, when a Ghostbuster appeared. Sia was on stage in her signature oversized two-tone wig with a gigantic bow when she brought out noted celebrity ghost enemy Kristen Wiig wearing a similar wig (get it? Kristen … wig?) to dance around on stage. This caused great commotion among our festival crew and the crowd in general, especially since Sia’s show also featured celebrity appearances by Paul Dano, Tig Notaro and a bunch of extremely talented dancers. This was a rare moment of surprise during an otherwise by-the-books festival — except it wasn’t actually happening. The celebs on screen were just part of Sia’s tour video; the stage was full of actors reenacting the video, which wasn’t immediately clear to anyone not in the front rows.

Panorama was billed by many as the East Coast Coachella, a chance to bring a truly regal lineup of music and the brand of a highly successful festival team to New York City’s competitive music scene. The fest tickets were steep — too steep for many people it turns out, in a summer that’s already packed in a handful of music festivals. But it was loaded up in star power not seen elsewhere, with Kendrick Lamar, the freshly reunited LCD Soundsystem and Arcade Fire, plus a killer undercard featuring FKA Twigs, Run the Jewels, The Julie Ruin and a lot more. So was it actually worth the money, or is New York becoming victim to festival bloat? (more…)

07/25/16 3:41pm
Life is a grind. Via Craigslist.

Life is a grind. Via Craigslist.

Maybe you’re about to dump someone but it’s their birthday and you feel bad. So you, a true gentlebro for the ages, decide to buy her a Vitamix blender — and what a nice blender it is! — as a parting gift. This is a terrible idea, as evidenced in this Craigslist ad a Brooklyn woman posted a few days ago, in which she absolutely frappes, shreds, purees and ice crushes the corporate lawyer who did this to her. It opens with the caveat “never date a corporate lawyer” and goes on to include tidbits like this:

“He clearly wants to break up, but makes you do it. It’s the day after your birthday. A few days later, this Vitamix arrives at your door. Either he wants you back, or he does not understand the human species.” (more…)

07/25/16 1:03pm
Via Flickr's Michael Tapp.

Via Flickr’s Michael Tapp.

Cherish your subway rides while you can, L train riders, for today the soothsayers and doomsday prophets finally heard official word from mount MTA. The Times reported this morning the MTA has come to a final decision about what to do with the L train to repair Hurricane Sandy damage: The train will be completely shut down between Bedford Avenue and Eighth Avenue for 18 months, starting in January 2019. That means no L train whatsoever between Williamsburg and Manhattan, and no trains along 14th street in Manhattan at all.

2019 is a cosmically long way away, so who knows if we’ll all still even still be alive or if President Trump will have replaced all forms of mass transit with mandatory gold SUV ownership by then. But the shutdown will have a huge impact across the borough, not the least of which are dips in rents along the L corridor and a whole new wave of trite jokes about Williamsburg and the people who live there. Here are 10 effects the train’s shutdown may have: (more…)

07/21/16 11:25am
Your new Ron, Hermione and their daughter from the play version of the Cursed Child.

Your new grown-up Ron and Hermione and their daughter from the play version of the Cursed Child.

Harry’s back! Sort of! The first official new Harry Potter story after the original septology comes out at midnight July 30. It’s a script based on the new Harry Potter and the Cursed Child play that’s opening in London at the same time. The play is basically the UK’s Hamilton, in that you stand no chance of getting tickets ever, so your best bet is to get the book. The plot has mostly been kept under wraps, and fans are nervous that J.K. Rowling is bordering on George Lucas levels of meddling with her own canon (the book is actually credited to three authors:  Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany).

But if nothing else, the release brings back the great Harry Potter tradition of midnight release parties. These are truly joyful affairs — when was the last time you’ve seen so many kids and people of all ages lined up at midnight to get their hands on a BOOK? You wait in line for a lot dumber things, New York. So here’s where to find the midnight releases and other parties in Brooklyn — start practicing your butterbeer pong skills now.  (more…)

07/20/16 4:23pm
Finally there's a Pokemon dating app if you want to tap dat Ash.

Finally there’s a Pokemon dating app if you want to tap dat Ash.

The rule for movie sequels is the longer they go on, the probability the franchise ends up in space approaches 1 (see: Jason X, Leprechaun in Space, Fast and Furious and Also In Space, etc.). The new rule for social trends should be that the longer they persist, they’ll eventually end up as a dating app: See the Ayn Rand dating app, Trumpism, every and any animal-based subculture of gay life. So now we have reached that point with Pokemon Go, which went from not even existing to being mentioned in the presidential campaigns in under a week.

Today PokeDates, a dating app aimed at Pokemon Go trainers was released, promising to match up Pokepeople and find a good Pokestop for them to meet. This means the Pokemania has officially gone too far: not because of the popularity of Pokemon Go itself, which is fine and fun and anyone who tells you otherwise is an Old who surely would have raged against the rampant spread of terrifying baseballs everywhere had they been born in the 1910s. No, the reason it’s gone too far is the dates cost $20 (twenty real dollars) to set up. When the scavengers of capitalism come in, you should be wary that a trend is under attack.  (more…)