10/31/14 10:09am
tktk

Franky doesn’t give a shit if you know what a bodega is.

Taylor Swift was elected mayor of Times Square last week and we don’t remember voting for her but whatever. Despite the rage aneurysm Dave gave himself, I can’t spend much time worrying about what a lady who released her album through a Target exclusive has to say about New York, because talking too much about these things only makes them stronger, like some sort of blonde X-Man whose mutation is the power to summon a smothering tidal wave of thinkpieces.

Anyway, we asked you last week what your real NYC anthem was, and you came through big time, with a greatest hits collection of jams so good, we put them into a Spotify playlist to share with you. It runs the Gotham gamut, from Sinatra and Gershwin to Jay Z and the Beasties, from LCD Soundsystem and the Ramones to Black Star and the Julie Ruin. Pump it through your headphones the next time you’re stuck behind tourists with Target bags on the Manhattan sidewalk and need to remember that the city is big enough to have a song for every person. (more…)

10/22/14 1:10pm
Photo by Tim Donnelly

Salute your city. Photo by Tim Donnelly

The New York media varsity internet outrage squad was in full effect this week declaring the new Taylor Swift song “Welcome to New York” as alternately the gentrification anthem no one asked for and the wispy blonde straw that finally made loving New York “basic.” But for us, arguing that a song by a 20-something white pop lady ruins a city of 8 million diverse people seems about as useful as declaring that Disney’s Frozen has slandered the Norwegian blue collar labor market beyond repair. It’s an empty, pretty thing by a lady who makes empty, pretty songs.

So this is not going to be your New York City anthem, unless maybe you’re a 22-year-old college grad whose visions of moving to the city are all frozen yogurt shops and Chop’t salad lines. But it brings up a good point: we all do have a New York City or Brooklyn anthem of some kind. Whether you grew up here or moved here to do the dream-chasing thing, everyone’s got a song they cue up on the iPod for that tracking shot while your plane is pulling back in over the city skyline after a particularly torturous family or business visit in some Other State, the song’s refrains drilling into your head the question with no good answer: “why did you ever leave in the first place?” So what’s your anthem? (more…)

10/16/14 9:21am
We've got spirits yes we do we've got spirits and some brews.

We’ve got spirits yes we do we’ve got spirits and some brews.

Happy birthday to us! Brokelyn has had so many swashblogging adventures over our five years that we could only celebrate with a big ol’ Homecoming-themed party tonight at the Bell House. In keeping with our mission to help you enjoy the best of the borough on a budget, we’re bringing you $1 Brooklyn Brewery beers (while supplies last, so get there early) and the chance to win thousands of dollars in prizes — including a brand-new bike, a BAM membership, tattoos and a high-end couples vibrator. Plus we’ve lined up a talent-show’s worth of entertainment: Scott Rogowsky, Danny Tamberelli, the Hungry March Band and DJ Brian Blackout spinning your favorite high school jams. Study up on your Brooklyn words and you can walk away with even more prizes in the spelling bee and dress your high school best so you can show your mom your photobooth picture.

Doors open at 7:30! You can still buy tickets ahead of time or nab them at the door. Here are our quick pro guide on how to ace the party arrival.  UPDATE! We’ve got $5 After School Special cocktails until 8:30 AND free rides home from Lyft too! Details below. (more…)

10/03/14 11:32am
I like your sleeves. Let's win a bike.

I like your sleeves. Let’s win a bike.

Not sure about you guys, but the only gifts I ever walked away from a high school dance with was the gift of listening to “Nights in White Satin,” which was our prom song for some reason. So high school dances were probably kinda lame for most of us, but now we’re adults and it’s time to retcon all that history: we’re celebrating Brokelyn’s fifth birthday at the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance on Oct. 16 at the Bell House, but we’re giving you the presents. We’ve rounded up a selection of some of the finest things Brooklyn has to offer, including meals, tattoos, shuffleboard, classes and, of course, a BRAND NEW BIKE from Ride Brooklyn! Each prize is worth an average $100 or more. It’s enough to make you earn a varsity letter in “Free Swag.” See the full list below! (more…)

09/18/14 1:04pm
Post by Madelyn Owens

Poster by Madelyn Owens

Five years ago, Mike Bloomberg was still just a two-term mayor, mayonnaise didn’t have its own artisanal store, 285 Kent hadn’t even opened (or closed) yet and The New York Times only mentioned Lena Dunham in 1 out of 10 stories, as opposed to 1 in 3 stories. Also in that long-ago Brooklyn era, a new site called Brokelyn crawled onto the blogging shores. And my how we’ve grown since then (thanks to our great readers).

We’ve spent five years helping you live big on small change, from basic DIY tipshot scoops and hot takes to stuff that just helps make you a better Brooklynite. So let’s celebrate! In honor of our blogging adolescence, we’re taking you back to high school for a big party at the Bell House THIS THURSDAY: Brokelyn High Homecoming. We’ve got dancing, games, prizes, comedians, the Hungry March Band, a photobooth and a raffle, featuring a BRAND NEW BIKE!! (more…)

07/11/14 8:00am
Got a lot of work to do; gonna need some more Mountain Meow Code Red.

Got a lot of work to do; gonna need some more Mountain Meow Code Red.

If we know anything about the future, it’s that it will be inherited by those who know how to code, and that people will forever love looking at cats on a computer. You get to combine the two next week at a free coding workshop at NYU: the Kitten Coding Club on July 15 will be an introductory coding class, and it’s all based around the theme of cats.

The cats “are adorable and already an intrinsic part of the internet,” founder Ieva Urbaite tells us. “They set the tone for our fun, accessible, and supportive group. Every project will involve lots of adorable cat pictures while teaching solid coding skills.” No experience necessary; just bring a laptop, and at least a functional tolerance for cats. (more…)

07/03/14 12:06pm
The United States of Alcohol. Via.

The United States of Alcohol. Via.

It’s America weekend, and as we all know, Summer America is the Best America. Summer America means drinking cold cheap beer in the hot outdoors. We’re suckers for clever beer can branding in the summer time, the kind that plays off our patriotism, our nostalgia or our desire to at least not look like your average frat bro/basic bitch when guzzling mass market hops. So using our expertise as cheap beer consumers, we present: Brokelyn’s definitive ranking of the throwback and AmeriCans of summer 2014. (more…)

06/18/14 1:24pm
Carrie on my wayward son.

Carrie on my wayward son.

Film Biz Recycling, as you might know, takes used clothes from film and TV shows that would normally go in the garbage and resells them to you for cheap. On Friday, the Gowanus shop is having a big sale on 80s clothes, after getting an “enormous wardrobe and material selection from a recently canceled show that takes place in the 80s.” The store isn’t allowed to say where it gets the stuff from, but we’re just gonna use our super powers of journalistic deduction and say that it’s from The Carrie Diaries, which just bit the dust. Hey, Carrie Jr.’s loss is your gain! The night is going to be a whole 80s party with karaoke, videos and free fuzzy navels too. (more…)

06/16/14 9:22am
tktktk. Via FB.

To Freddy’s, the strongest bar in the world. Via FB.

If you’re bummed you missed the Pete & Pete reunion at Punderdome earlier this month … don’t be, because Big Pete got sick so it came up a little short. Of course, “reunion” is a little bit of a misnomer anyway since the two (Danny Tamberelli and Michael Maronna) are friends who have a podcast together called The Adventures of Danny & Mike. So here’s another chance to hang out with them, and do your patriotic duty at the same time: The former Nickelodeon stars are inviting everyone out to watch the U.S. team play their first World Cup match tonight for a podcast recording, at Brokelyn-favorite bar Freddy’s. You haven’t seen so much competitive excitement since the Petes took on the International Adult Conspiracy.
(more…)

06/11/14 9:00am
Don't bite the hand that feeds you free beer. Via Beach Bus Instagram.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you free beer. Via Beach Bus Instagram.

Our friends over at the NYC Beach Bus run a pretty sweet deal that we’ve written about plenty of times because it upholds the Brokelyn values of 1) maximizing your summer 2) at no-brainer value with 3) free beer (Sixpoints, including the new Rad summer ale). It’s usually a chill party bus full of sun-seaking beach bums, yet co-owner Ayo Omojola tells us that some riders have been harassing her staff about not getting enough free beer, and it’s harshing the vibe. ”We don’t want to have to remove the beer from our package because we think it is an awesome perk,” she says, “but we also don’t want our workers constantly harassed or [to] receive a slew of emails from people about how they were ‘shorted’ free beer since they only got it on the ride to the beach and no beer was provided for the ride home.”

This is a major summer foul, brahs. Omojola asked us to help clarify the deal here. Follow along, because no one likes a summer bummer: (more…)