07/11/14 8:00am
Got a lot of work to do; gonna need some more Mountain Meow Code Red.

Got a lot of work to do; gonna need some more Mountain Meow Code Red.

If we know anything about the future, it’s that it will be inherited by those who know how to code, and that people will forever love looking at cats on a computer. You get to combine the two next week at a free coding workshop at NYU: the Kitten Coding Club on July 15 will be an introductory coding class, and it’s all based around the theme of cats.

The cats “are adorable and already an intrinsic part of the internet,” founder Ieva Urbaite tells us. “They set the tone for our fun, accessible, and supportive group. Every project will involve lots of adorable cat pictures while teaching solid coding skills.” No experience necessary; just bring a laptop, and at least a functional tolerance for cats. (more…)

07/03/14 12:06pm
The United States of Alcohol. Via.

The United States of Alcohol. Via.

It’s America weekend, and as we all know, Summer America is the Best America. Summer America means drinking cold cheap beer in the hot outdoors. We’re suckers for clever beer can branding in the summer time, the kind that plays off our patriotism, our nostalgia or our desire to at least not look like your average frat bro/basic bitch when guzzling mass market hops. So using our expertise as cheap beer consumers, we present: Brokelyn’s definitive ranking of the throwback and AmeriCans of summer 2014. (more…)

06/18/14 1:24pm
Carrie on my wayward son.

Carrie on my wayward son.

Film Biz Recycling, as you might know, takes used clothes from film and TV shows that would normally go in the garbage and resells them to you for cheap. On Friday, the Gowanus shop is having a big sale on 80s clothes, after getting an “enormous wardrobe and material selection from a recently canceled show that takes place in the 80s.” The store isn’t allowed to say where it gets the stuff from, but we’re just gonna use our super powers of journalistic deduction and say that it’s from The Carrie Diaries, which just bit the dust. Hey, Carrie Jr.’s loss is your gain! The night is going to be a whole 80s party with karaoke, videos and free fuzzy navels too. (more…)

06/16/14 9:22am
tktktk. Via FB.

To Freddy’s, the strongest bar in the world. Via FB.

If you’re bummed you missed the Pete & Pete reunion at Punderdome earlier this month … don’t be, because Big Pete got sick so it came up a little short. Of course, “reunion” is a little bit of a misnomer anyway since the two (Danny Tamberelli and Michael Maronna) are friends who have a podcast together called The Adventures of Danny & Mike. So here’s another chance to hang out with them, and do your patriotic duty at the same time: The former Nickelodeon stars are inviting everyone out to watch the U.S. team play their first World Cup match tonight for a podcast recording, at Brokelyn-favorite bar Freddy’s. You haven’t seen so much competitive excitement since the Petes took on the International Adult Conspiracy.

06/11/14 9:00am
Don't bite the hand that feeds you free beer. Via Beach Bus Instagram.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you free beer. Via Beach Bus Instagram.

Our friends over at the NYC Beach Bus run a pretty sweet deal that we’ve written about plenty of times because it upholds the Brokelyn values of 1) maximizing your summer 2) at no-brainer value with 3) free beer (Sixpoints, including the new Rad summer ale). It’s usually a chill party bus full of sun-seaking beach bums, yet co-owner Ayo Omojola tells us that some riders have been harassing her staff about not getting enough free beer, and it’s harshing the vibe. ”We don’t want to have to remove the beer from our package because we think it is an awesome perk,” she says, “but we also don’t want our workers constantly harassed or [to] receive a slew of emails from people about how they were ‘shorted’ free beer since they only got it on the ride to the beach and no beer was provided for the ride home.”

This is a major summer foul, brahs. Omojola asked us to help clarify the deal here. Follow along, because no one likes a summer bummer: (more…)

06/10/14 12:12pm
Why does everybody call me Crazy Eyes?

Why does everybody call me Crazy Eyes?

OK, here’s some food truck #branding we can get behind. Taking a page from last year’s Arrested Development banana stand promotion, Netflix is rolling out a “Crazy Pyes” food truck that will hand out free fruit-flavored pies and free chocolate and vanilla swirl cones this week around Manhattan and Brooklyn. Crazy Pyes is of course a nod to Crazy Eyes (played by the great Uzo Aduba), who wifed up Piper in season 1, and dropped the famous “I threw my pie for you” line. Also Crazy Eyes (aka Suzanne. She’s a person, people) has a great back story in season 2. So far at least! I’m only on episode 4 so don’t ruin anything even though I’m ashamed at how long it’s taking me. Find the truck at these locations below, Dandelion. (more…)

06/10/14 8:00am
Thank Goodness It's For Branding

Thank Goodness It’s For Branding.

This weekend is Northside Festival, when sweaty, music-loving New Yorkers will flood Greenpoint and Williamsburg to bounce from venue to venue checking out a pretty sweet lineup of bands. It’s also a great time for #brands doing that thing #brands do when they give out free stuff, take pictures of cool Brooklynites holding said stuff, and therefore feast on your urban cultural cachet like a logo-slathered dementor. But surely, in an era where artisanal is long dead and Johnny Rockets is considered “hip,” there is no more life left in the Brooklyn artisanal corpse to even fingerbang these days?

Well, no, because TGIFridays, the restaurant chain that first tried to bottle and export quirkiness like it was a box of frozen potato skins, is unearthing that corpse and fucking it some more by entering the food truck business. Said monstrosity of Guy Fieri-approved fried apps will park at Northside this weekend, giving out free samples to all you youngins in its Target Demographic. Don’t worry, in case you doubted its authenticity, Fridays set up a Tumblr featuring a tattooed barista too. (more…)

06/06/14 8:00am
Piper and Larry in their Park Slope home, failing at the juice cleanse like so many before them.

Piper and Larry in their Park Slope home, failing at a juice cleanse, like so many before them.

Who’s ready to go back to prison? Happy Orange is the New Black season 2 day! All 13 new episodes of the majorly binge-able hit Netflix dramedy dropped overnight, giving you lots more Piper and Alex, Taystee and  Poussey and Pornstache and Crazy Eyes to destroy your weekend plans. The show mercifully shatters stereotypes about women characters on TV, giving us body and sexuality types that would only appear on a network show if all TV executives were actually thrown in SHU.

Of course, the show is based on the memoir of real-life Park Sloper Piper Kerman. While season 1 gave us lots of flashback scenes to Piper’s yuppie life in Brooklyn — and plenty of digs at Brooklyn idiosyncrasies, from juice cleanses to a writer character who lives off his parents — it also contains some full on references only people who know the borough would appreciate.

Drink on brosef.

Champagne for my real friends; real tickets for sham advertising. Photo by Tim Donnelly.

Hey look, it’s suddenly legal to drink on the beach in Coney Island! Huzzah! I mean, what else would be the explanation for this ad showing three white people who are most definitely standing on the beach in Coney Island, Brooklyn? Because they’re most certainly not something an ad company pulled out of some stock art website after a search for “Ed Hardy douchehat vacation seduction scheme” keywords. Champagne surf party for everyone! Except, no of course it’s not legal. (more…)

05/15/14 1:44pm
Kate get out of our heads. Illustrations by Emily Niland.

Kate get out of our heads. Illustrations by Emily Niland.

Were this a buzzier website, we’d make some sort of slick quiz that uses your favorite fictional monkey or something to determine which kind of Brooklyn guy you are/are dating. Instead, use this handy (and actually researched) guide by our own Kate Mooney to figure it out. Kate, moonlighting over at The New York Observer, worked with illustrator Emily Niland to put together a feature you might consider either fun or suffocatingly depressing depending on your dating situation: “Eight Guys You Might Meet in Brooklyn: An Illustrated Guide,” which breaks down the kind of boys you’re likely meet in various nabes. Think of it as an Audubon guide, but for Brooklyn bros.  (more…)