Minimum rage; maximum funny.

Think of all the shitty jobs you’ve had in your life. Mine included: babysitting, selling skateboards, shilling cupcakes, writing about real estate, working at restaurants, teaching ice skating and teaching yoga. (I even went to Madonna’s house once on an errand. Pristine.)  Now think about how angry it makes you to constantly be someone’s bitch. Now imagine if you wrote about a show about all that anger. Good news: I did! It’s called Minimum Rage and  it’s tonight at 8pm at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre.  It’s a measly $5. I’d love it if you came, we got angry together, and you told all your friends about it. This week, it’s a TimeOut New York Critic’s Pick!

Artisanal caramel. It's happening.

We’re tallying up 25 affordable local gifts this year, but since this is Brooklyn, we know this you’ll also be shopping for people who eat sustainable pork jowl and say peanut butter is over (pumpkin seed butter, yay!). So we’ve compiled a list of the best locavore edible gifts to give your foodie friends for the holidays. And yes, it’s possible to put your money where your Pollan is when you don’t have much money. Grab one, two, or create a gift basket for the rooftop farmer in your life. (more…)

Hey nerds! This Friday (Dec. 2), Brooklyn gets its own TED event at Brooklyn Bowl, TEDxBrooklyn. The stage program will feature an all day-bonanza of talks from local entrpreneurs, artists, activists, storytellers and scientists, including comedian Eugene Mirman, Sean Meenan, founder of Habana Outpost, and Ruth Ozeki, an author/filmmaker and ordained Zen minister. Sound cool? Want to go? Too bad! This crap’s been sold out for a long time. But you can still watch it for free: stream it all day from 9am to 6pm or watch it with fellow Tedheads at one of the live streaming parties at the Knitting Factory, 61 Local and Brooklyn Brainery. (more…)

A sample portfolio. This Ansel Adams kid may have a future.

Hey Basquiats! Listen up! You went to art school, you have your own studio, now what? How do you sell get your work out into the world for people so people can buy it and help you make a living doing art? 3rd Ward has an answer. Its sister company Artists Wanted just launched a website for artists to create free online portfolios (yes, we said FREE!). The site lets you to choose your own website address, personalize your portfolio and incorporate image galleries, sound, videos and Flash. You can also include feeds from your Facebook, LinkedIn, Vimeo, Twitter, and Tumblr. Then your portfolio shows up in the Artists Wanted search engine and gets some SEO love in Google. So start selling that work!

This is all Sue can do to contain her rage.

Living and working in New York City since 2000 has made me an angry person. I’ve had a ton of crappy, low-paying jobs, from babysitting children of models, movie stars and poor people, to working in a bakery, to selling skateboards. And, of course, waiting tables, teaching yoga, styling photo shoots, selling textiles, throwing parties, doing admin work for nutty professors, cleaning up vomit in a bowling alley … Don’t make me continue. People in New York will do stuff like come in 20 minutes late to yoga class, change their babies AT A DINNER TABLE FOR DINING, and “forget” to pay you on payday.

I know I’m not alone. So to channel my emotions in a healthier way, I wrote a one-person character show about my work-induced anger problem called Minimum Rage, playing Oct. 20 at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre in Chelsea. If you don’t come, I can’t promise you won’t be the target of our collective rage behind your back. But you can start commiserating by reading stories of the crazy crap my fellow Brokesters have had to hold their tongues on in the name of paying their rent. Add your own in the comments. (more…)

DIY shirting at Gowanus Print Lab

The Gowanus Print Lab turns a year old this Saturday! You know, the Gowanus Print Lab? That really cool screen printing workspace that offers tools, classes, workshops and exhibition space for emerging artists? They’re celebrating by giving YOU something: the chance to screen print your own T shirts and buttons for free! The party this Saturday boasts free cocktails courtesy of SoBe (yes, we just said FREE DRANKS) and beats by DJ J. Dayz, in addition to making your own stuff in the Print Lab. Partygoers can get a glimpse at the screen printing process and bring their own shirts, or buy them there to print their choice of several urban-cool designs. SoBe will be giving away a limited number of T-shirts, skateboards and posters.

The party is 7-11 at Gowanus Print Labs, 54 Second Ave. We suggest getting there on the early side, before all the free crap runs out. But, like, not so early that you look like a weirdo. Maybe like 8:30 or 9? Okay, cool.

Photo via Flickr's Kmulvey

The most positive thing I remember about 9/11 is New Yorker’s urgent need to help. After the attacks, my Brooklyn Heights dormmates and I went to the Schermerhorn Street Red Cross to donate blood (when people were being found alive). We waited in a three-hour line of people. My roommate and I piled up every bit of clothing we loved and took it to the Cadman Plaza Library, but their space was full; too many people had already donated. The next day, we took the A train to the Javits Center, and waited outside for hours in the rain again for hours, only be told that we couldn’t help help dig at Ground Zero; Too many people had already volunteered.

New York became a small town that I was proud to live in (unlike my hometown). For days and months after, New Yorkers dropped their tough facade and totally smiled at you, said hello and asked if you were okay. I remember a spokesperson for the Red Cross saying they wished people showed such generosity every day, and not just in times of crisis. Maybe we should. Maybe it’s the act of reaching out and not the actual fruits of our labor, that helps humanize us. Here are some ways you can show your love of felllow New Yorkers, every day of the year. (more…)

Rosie would have been out-earned by Carolyn the Riveter.

If you’ve been spending the last several years fighting for equality, taking Women’s Studies courses, and not shaving your funky pits, here’s some bad news for you. We already heard women who change their name can earn $500,000 less; now LearnVest parsed all the demographic statistics it could find to determine out who is the ideal, stereotypically highest-paid woman. And, big surprise, Pretty girls make more money. Specifically pretty, skinny, assertive, non-smoking, blonde, light-drinking Asian women named Deborah with MBAs. So where do you stack up in the rankings? (more…)

Stock up on Red Bull because this weekend because the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre is hosting the 13th Del Close Marathon in Chelsea. Check out over 150 comedy shows that go all night long throughout the weekend for just $25; That’s like $0.16 per show! Oh, and Brokelyn comedy geekery will ensue. Everyone and their mother take classes at the UCB, including contributor Eric Silver, the lovely Andrew Linderman, Sarah Bibi’s roommate and, at 6:15am on Saturday: me, Sue Smith, your menstrual cup using, Spring-Gala-hosting, sick-cat-loving Brokelynite, performing with my group Squirt!.

We’ll all be there with bloodshot eyes and caffeine shakes. And you can also catch some of your favorite comedy stars from Hollywood, including Scott Adsit, Horatio Sanz, Bobby Moynihan, Donald Glover and Paul Scheer. Festivities officially start Friday at 6pm and run straight through Sunday at 8pm. Say you wanted to see a show Watch me try to be funny after having been up the whole night before. (more…)

We’re pretty sure you have one — or 10 — bras lying around that you bought at American Eagle because you were in a hurry and it was cheap. (American Eagle bras never fit right– they’re sized for preteens who hang out at the mall. You know that.) Good news: The Bra Recyclers can help. They’re a recycling company that rounds up old bras and distributes them to people in developing countries around the world. They’re holding a donation drive in BK this month. Listen, maybe you have a lot of #bkgirlproblems (LIKE A TON OF MOSQUITO BITES LATELY, AMIRITE?), but there are women in developing countries still plagued by the epidemic of bralessness. (more…)