07/20/14 6:00am
Something new this week: Sunday Reads. We’ve selected some of the best Brooklyn and NYC reads from around the web. Kick back with a coffee and bagel and enjoy a lazy Sunday with these stories.

“In people’s minds, ice is water, and water is free,” [Gothamist]
“The demand for whiskey barrels has outstripped supply.” [Fox News]
“It took us 20 years to get to 100,000 barrels sold [in a year]“ [Business Insider]
“…our rents are increasing while incomes are decreasing.” [Guardian]
“This apartment is worth more without you in it.” [AJA]
“At the $373 per foot price point, Mr. Palmese said ‘you have to build condos.’” [CO]
“…sullen hipsters aren’t the only characters who populate the pages…” [Brooklyn Based]
The CAEs … will fight tooth and nail to stay above the ‘I get nothing’ number.” [Verge]
“And no, you don’t have to be a member of a ’70s-era psychotherapy cult.” [NYT]
“This is real, this is a real problem here,” [CapitalNY]
“This is the birth of a new species,” he says. [News.com.au]
“…human beings are human beings, and you, sir, owe everybody something.” [Bumf]

06/09/14 4:14pm
Brooklyn DNC

This is our future. Unless we fight. Terrifying Jonah photoshop by Chris Giganti

Despite our howling protests asking him not to, lousy old Mayor de Blasio has decided to put in a bid for Brooklyn to host the DNC. Like we said when we first asked Mayor Tall not to subject us to this, we’re looking at 35,000 clones of Jonah, Veep‘s self-obsessed, buffoonish presidential aide turned candidate hanger-on who’s an all too real caricature of DC, descending on Brooklyn.

That’s 35,000 Jonahs who don’t know how to use MetroCard machines, who step in front of you to steal your cab, who hit on your girlfriend and reek of the desperation that only the young, ambitious and ideologically bereft can reek of. Take heart though: we’ve got a battle plan to keep the DNC from picking Brooklyn, we just need your help to implement it. (more…)

06/04/14 12:00pm

Malm Dresser Azure

Attention Ikea shoppers: so great that you finally got those birch veneer shelves! What a bummer everyone else has them too! Want to pretend your particle board composite storage is something way more quirky and interesting? With Panyl, the grooviest home innovation since clap lights, your Malm dresser doesn’t have to be meh anymore — using giant stickers you can turn it any color you like. Or chevron. Or striped. Or polka dotted. (Here’s a whole mess of Panyl projects for inspiration.) Just for being a Brokelyn subscriber, you can win $50 worth of Panyl to help make your dresser look Odda dis world. Plus Brokelyn readers get a 10 percent discount all month long by entering Brokelyn at checkout. (more…)

04/01/14 8:00am
Rent just got Brokelynized.

Rent just got Brokelynized.

We know you wonder every day: why, in this age of Groupons and Seamless discount codes, is there nothing that helps make rent payments a little less heinous? Well good news brokesters: Fresh off the heels of our smash hit 2014 Brokelyn Beer Book, we’re happy to announce our latest project: the long-awaited Brokelyn Rent Book is finally here! We’ve taken the Beer Book idea — which gets you 30 beers for 30 bucks —and expanded it to the thing that forces you to drink so heavily: rent. Obviously, apartments costs a bit much more than a glass of suds, but the gist is the same: for just $300 (that’s barely one night of hoofstew at that trendy new Greenpoint spot, Pigslaw), you get this book, handsomely designed by our handsome in-house team. Each page entitles you to a month’s worth of free rent at 30 of our favorite lovingly hand-selected, specially curated apartments from all around the borough. That’s 12 months worth of rent for only $300!

Check out the list of apartments in it below, which are made possible thanks to the good folks at the New York Landlord Association, who helped us track down these killer apartments and arrange the deals with each landlord. But make sure to act fast and buy one today (or have your parents buy you one): only a limited number are being printed, so supplies, and, to be honest, shared bed space, will run out soon! (more…)

Babeland puts the fun back into sex.

Your high school “health” teacher doesn’t know these tricks.

Everyone could use a new bedroom groove now and again, whether you’re paired off or still playing around. Why not bone up on your skills at Babeland? We’re giving away two pair of tickets (normally $20 a piece) to Babeland‘s newest workshop, Hot Tips for Bedroom Bliss, taking place March 19. Spend an hour picking up new tips on female pleasure, including oral sex, bedroom toys and other ideas for getting the most out of every romp.

You gotta be an e-mail subscriber to win. Sign up here and click the link in tomorrow’s e-mail to enter. That’s it! We’ll pick two winners next Monday, March 17, at noon.

Babeland is also giving all Brokelyn readers a $5 discount to the workshop. Just visit the event’s Eventbrite page and enter the code “broke” to get the discount.

Keep an eye out for the newsletter every Thursday in your mailbox. Lots more getaways to come.

02/14/14 1:51pm
Man, she did not like that valentine.

Man, she did not like that valentine.

As we learned yesterday, relationships crash and burn more often than they work out. If you’re currently unsatisfied and thinking of making a change in your life, you should at least be able to enjoy yourself after ending it with your formerly loved one. Or at least make it memorable for the both of you. And since we’re always here to serve, we’ve rounded up some of the best places for you to end your relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day! (more…)

01/30/14 1:19pm

Beer-Book-61

The long-awaited 2014  Brokelyn Beer Book is on sale today, just in time for Valentine’s day. For just $30, you get one of these gorgeous, pocket-sized, completely portable coupon books (designed by the talented folks at The Heads of State) containing coupons for 30 free beers at 30 bars, plus one or two extras.

And not just any bars: some of the best beer bars and beer-centric eateries in town. This year, we divided the books into regions. Book 5 covers Upper Brooklyn: roughly defined as Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Bushwick and Bed-Stuy. Book 6 covers Middle Brooklyn, which is everything from Cobble Hill to Ditmas Park, including loads of places in Prospect Heights and Park Slope. So where’s the Lower Brooklyn book, you ask? Coming soon! Meantime, see the breakdown below, but don’t dawdle. These puppies will be snatched up before you can say, Bartender, I’ll have another! (more…)

10/22/13 3:56pm
Kim Hastreiter.

Paper Magazine’s Kim Hastreiter has two words for Brooklyn. Paper Magazine photo by Jacqueline Di Milia.

Paper Magazine’s Kim Hastreiter writes (while nevertheless sporting “Brooklyn cool” specs): “I’m sick of Brooklyn the look, Brooklyn the cool and Brooklyn the aesthetic… If I see another Edison light bulb or indie, vintage-furnished Ace-style hotel open up, or one more white, bearded, tattooed, apron-clad, work-booted hipster standing behind the counter of a shop selling pork bellies, small-batch gin, organic barber shop products or old-school, authentic, artisanal, heritage, sustainable, distressed-looking anything, I swear I will throw up….”  READ MORE

08/30/13 10:14am
Oh god, it's all ending. via Flickr user minusbaby

Oh god, it’s all ending. via Flickr user minusbaby

Welll, here we are…Labor Day weekend. Your dreams of a BEST SUMMER EVAR dashed agains the rocks of the jetties, leaving you with merely the memories of what could have been instead of what was. If only you hadn’t taken it easy those first couple weeks. You should have planned better. If only you’d been invited camping. Yep, rather than greet the end of the summer with a stiff upper lip and stoicism, we’re going to dwell like some lousy teenager binging on the Smiths. Because we want more summer, but the world won’t listen. (more…)