03/20/15 12:38pm
The many genres of broke

Broke unity transcends genres so beautifully

The rent may be too damn high, but music is practically free these days. If that’s not enough to cheer you up, we’ve made a special playlist about living large on whatever you can find in your couch, a time-honored NYC tradition. We’ve got some Velvet Underground, some Liz Phair, and of course some Cee Lo. Twenty years ago, we would have had to mail every single reader a mix tape to share this playlist, and do you have any idea how much broker that would have made us?


02/04/15 3:32pm
Fine, leave. We'll replace you.

Fine, leave. We’ll replace you.

Well, Jay-Z and Beyonce have decided that they want to ditch New York for the sunny shores of L.A. Is it because NYC is over or whatever and we just don’t know it? Eh, maybe. Even if they didn’t live here, Jay and Bey it felt like Jay and Bey were Brooklyn’s royal family, from their courtside Nets appearances to causing a ruckus just by showing up at Grizzly Bear shows. Rather than focus on our abdicating royal family, we here at Brokelyn have put in some thought and have a slate of candidates to replace Bey and Jay as our new king and queen. That’s how we understand monarchy to work anyway. (more…)

01/26/15 4:41pm
Well, it's here. Try not be a jerk. Photo be David Colon

Well, it’s here. Try not be a jerk. Photo be David Colon

Well, it’s here, the as-of-yet unnamed massive blizzard that’s going to dump a foot of snow on our doorsteps and cause everyone to experience the joys of working from home. It also means people usually engage in some strange behavior wrought by what we can only describe as “snow madness.” Make sure you don’t get caught up in it, because you’re a hardened New Yorker, not some easily spooked SoCal flibbertigibbet who can’t understand the concept of frozen precipitation. (more…)

12/05/14 2:58pm
Why, they'll fit right in, won't they? via The Guardian

Why, they’ll fit right in, won’t they? via The Guardian

Roll out the hand-stitched red carpets! Put on your finest tweed cap, then doff it! Honk your cab horns in majestic awe! His royal highness Prince William and his wife, Princess Kate Middleton are coming to visit Brooklyn this weekend! As much press as Brooklyn has gotten over the last few years, the Royal Family might not be up on what the best things to do and see while they’re on our side of the pond. So, we thought we’d use our expertise to give the royal duo a guide to show the Brooklyn good time they deserve.  (more…)

10/24/14 12:10pm

The Waco Kid didn’t drink switchel. He drank whozzle

In case you hadn’t heard, the hot new drink in Bushwick that all the cool kids are drinking is switchel, a cocktail made of apple cider vinegar, ginger, water and maple syrup. Since farmers and frontiersmen used to drink it, it has a lot of old timey cachet for the kinds of people who love fetishizing the simple farm life but inexplicably live in a major metropolis. Well, it used to be cool and have that old timey cachet, but now that it’s been reported on, switchel is totally over. What’s the new drink that Bushwick will be chugging? We looked around in a dusty old file for old forgotten drink recipes, and we found all of these. (more…)

07/27/14 6:30am
Case Maclaim & Pixel Pancho

Case Maclaim & Pixel Pancho street art in Bushwick (via Instagram user Halopigg)

Grab some coffee and a danish; we’ve got your Sunday reads right here.

On Landscaping: “New Orleans needs goats,” [Narratively]
On Hardship: “It’s getting harder to be homeless in America.” [PBS]
On Art: “We found ourselves frozen seeing this masterpiece come together.” [UC]
On Lies: “…these services may have been used by [the] NSA.” [Independent]
On Damn Lies: “We are not interested in reconfiguring the landscape of East New York.” [Gothamist]
On Statistics: “The question is whether a shark can be taught moderation.” [Guardian]
On Giving Up: “…perhaps a certain level of traffic crashes is inevitable.” [BKQ]
On Youth: “Who has time to sit around … watching the Netflix all day?” [New Yorker]
On Fairness “Amazon is undermining our ability to survive.” [Nation]
On Deserts: “We have one full-service supermarket for our 125,000 people.“ [Billfold]
On Leadership: “[Vader] was really the galaxy’s first compassionate conservative.” [WaPo]
On Hipsters: “I secretly fantasized about getting mugged or beat up in a bad neighborhood” [Awl]
On Precariousness: “If it had hit, we would still be picking up the pieces,” [NYPost]

07/20/14 6:00am
Something new this week: Sunday Reads. We’ve selected some of the best Brooklyn and NYC reads from around the web. Kick back with a coffee and bagel and enjoy a lazy Sunday with these stories.

“In people’s minds, ice is water, and water is free,” [Gothamist]
“The demand for whiskey barrels has outstripped supply.” [Fox News]
“It took us 20 years to get to 100,000 barrels sold [in a year]“ [Business Insider]
“…our rents are increasing while incomes are decreasing.” [Guardian]
“This apartment is worth more without you in it.” [AJA]
“At the $373 per foot price point, Mr. Palmese said ‘you have to build condos.’” [CO]
“…sullen hipsters aren’t the only characters who populate the pages…” [Brooklyn Based]
The CAEs … will fight tooth and nail to stay above the ‘I get nothing’ number.” [Verge]
“And no, you don’t have to be a member of a ’70s-era psychotherapy cult.” [NYT]
“This is real, this is a real problem here,” [CapitalNY]
“This is the birth of a new species,” he says. [News.com.au]
“…human beings are human beings, and you, sir, owe everybody something.” [Bumf]

06/09/14 4:14pm
Brooklyn DNC

This is our future. Unless we fight. Terrifying Jonah photoshop by Chris Giganti

Despite our howling protests asking him not to, lousy old Mayor de Blasio has decided to put in a bid for Brooklyn to host the DNC. Like we said when we first asked Mayor Tall not to subject us to this, we’re looking at 35,000 clones of Jonah, Veep‘s self-obsessed, buffoonish presidential aide turned candidate hanger-on who’s an all too real caricature of DC, descending on Brooklyn.

That’s 35,000 Jonahs who don’t know how to use MetroCard machines, who step in front of you to steal your cab, who hit on your girlfriend and reek of the desperation that only the young, ambitious and ideologically bereft can reek of. Take heart though: we’ve got a battle plan to keep the DNC from picking Brooklyn, we just need your help to implement it. (more…)

06/04/14 12:00pm

Malm Dresser Azure

Attention Ikea shoppers: so great that you finally got those birch veneer shelves! What a bummer everyone else has them too! Want to pretend your particle board composite storage is something way more quirky and interesting? With Panyl, the grooviest home innovation since clap lights, your Malm dresser doesn’t have to be meh anymore — using giant stickers you can turn it any color you like. Or chevron. Or striped. Or polka dotted. (Here’s a whole mess of Panyl projects for inspiration.) Just for being a Brokelyn subscriber, you can win $50 worth of Panyl to help make your dresser look Odda dis world. Plus Brokelyn readers get a 10 percent discount all month long by entering Brokelyn at checkout. (more…)