This could be you, but you playing. Image via ABC News
We know that we are, in fact, in the middle of cuffing season, that special time of year where you find a special someone to spend time with you and keep you warm when your heat is off. Some of us don’t always find someone when cuffing season commences, so with the blizzard coming in the next couple of days, it’s brought new life to the online dating scene, especially in Brooklyn. People are pouring their hearts out on Craigslist, trying to find someone who will fulfill their fantasies in person, rather than on the Internet. We found the best (worst?) of them so far, in case you don’t want to wait out the blizzard alone. (more…)
Can anyone hope to fill these shoes? via Yelp user Jice E.
After nearly 40 years in the business of making people look different than they normally look, Dr. Zizmor, the most culturally-referenced dermatologist in New York City, is retiring. Even though nothing can truly stop the driving arrow of time (as evidenced by Zizmor’s current appearance), the good doctor had us all mystified and even comforted by his gaudy, rainbow-colored ads that adorned the subway cars of New York City.
So, who will come to be New York City’s next bastion of banner advertising in Zizmor’s wake? Whose mug will manage to interrupt the ever-increasing streams of Seamless ads and Oscar health insurance puns as our new mascot? The Brokelyn staff put their heads together and came up with a few ideas. (more…)
What was the anger selling? Screenshot via Gothamist
You’re probably familiar by now with the above video (sadly now taken down) of the screaming, finger pointing, fight threatening white guy who told another white guy that “the only reason white people like you are living here are because I settled this fucking neighborhood for you.” As much as we’d love to believe that this fount of anger and obliviousness is a real human being, we know that every great video on the internet comes with an 80 percent chance of actually being viral marketing for some company or another. Who could want a pasty sack of aggressive entitlement with two-toned hair getting their product some buzz on the internet though? We’ve got some ideas! (more…)
Tired of being an artist in New York who can’t see art? Is that Netflix account finally not cutting it? Want to have access to theaters, comedy clubs, concert venues, sports stadiums, and expo centers without having to sacrifice groceries and a liver?
This is the only guide you’ll need to maximize your outdoor drinking in Brooklyn this summer.
Y’all, we did it. We survived another way-too-long season of blizzard warnings, a way-too-short season of Broad City, and that one night in May when we had to pull our coats out from under the bed again. Dreams of a margarita-soaked Brooklyn summer kept us warm through those cold nights — but wake the eff up, because it’s finally here! Now is your chance to fling off your comforter, don your jorts and man-spread all over the most wonderful time of the year: outdoor drinking season.
Eager to suck down a pitcher of sunshine but not quite sure where to go? Waste no time with a group text full of shrug emoticons: Team Brokelyn has compiled a comprehensive list of nearly 175 spirited spots across the borough where you can drink outside. From wine bars to dives to every sidewalk seat in between, we’re passing along our notes on each bar’s vibe and spilling our secrets to navigating the drink menu without spending your summer allowance all in one place. (Here’s one way we highly recommend.)
Don’t spend the prime of your young adulthood watching Friends on Netflix — get out there and drink! Simply click the ‘hood you’re headed to and let us be your patio spirit guides. —Meghan Stephens (more…)
The rent may be too damn high, but music is practically free these days. If that’s not enough to cheer you up, we’ve made a special playlist about living large on whatever you can find in your couch, a time-honored NYC tradition. We’ve got some Velvet Underground, some Liz Phair, and of course some Cee Lo. Twenty years ago, we would have had to mail every single reader a mix tape to share this playlist, and do you have any idea how much broker that would have made us?
Well, Jay-Z and Beyonce have decided that they want to ditch New York for the sunny shores of L.A. Is it because NYC is over or whatever and we just don’t know it? Eh, maybe. Even if they didn’t live here, Jay and Bey it felt like Jay and Bey were Brooklyn’s royal family, from their courtside Nets appearances to causing a ruckus just by showing up at Grizzly Bear shows. Rather than focus on our abdicating royal family, we here at Brokelyn have put in some thought and have a slate of candidates to replace Bey and Jay as our new king and queen. That’s how we understand monarchy to work anyway. (more…)
Well, it’s here. Try not be a jerk. Photo be David Colon
Well, it’s here, the as-of-yet unnamed massive blizzard that’s going to dump a foot of snow on our doorsteps and cause everyone to experience the joys of working from home. It also means people usually engage in some strange behavior wrought by what we can only describe as “snow madness.” Make sure you don’t get caught up in it, because you’re a hardened New Yorker, not some easily spooked SoCal flibbertigibbet who can’t understand the concept of frozen precipitation. (more…)