The dear Village Voice reporting staff chased down the answer to a story so very close to our own hearts yesterday: is buying underwear for suckers? Well, they don’t frame it in quite so many words. Their question was essentially: is there a health benefit/risk to not wearing underwear? In addition to coining the awesome term “loose-lipping” as the female equivalent for “free ballin’,” which we wholly endorse and will totally use, the Planned Parenthood doctor the Voice interviewed says: “Similar to the lack of studies linking undies and illness, there’s not enough research indicating a clear tie between commando-status and better health.” BOOM!! Stop buying underwear everyone!
The Voice story of course is concerned with lady parts, but what about the dudes? We scoured the internet for a bit to find the answer, and while there doesn’t seem to be any definitive research on the topic, we can confirm from field tests that no major harm befalls any bro who rocks the commando for an extended period of time.
So are you going to sit in the pocket of Big Underwear all your life? Will you be content to live in a world where the underpants-normative questions “boxers or briefs” still dominates popular discourse? Or will you cast off your undies this summer and find an alternative use for them instead?
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Pure, unadulterated journalism.
hahaha! Well that’s cool. But I must say, I love underwear. Its probably the most comfy thing I own. Also, I wash them after one use. I feel like underwear’s job is to protect my pants from “butt juice”. I don’t want to have to wash all my pants after only one wear. But god speed to the rest of you!
Butt juice? Is that the awful version of bug juice?
Yes. But they serve Butt Juice at VERY different kinds of camps.
Mary is correct. Have fun holding those farts in guys.
Also, I wear my jeans till they start getting holes and then have to be patched and repatched. I’m not aiming to have someone glance over, wonder why I’m wearing flesh colored underwear, and then reallize they’re looking at the bottom of my balls. There is also the boner issue, but that probably speaks for itself so no need for me do that one after my other point.
Boxers? Briefs? Get some boxer-briefs and call it a day.