Do you have cable TV? You do? What are you, some kinda Rockefeller? Well, however it is you manage to afford cable, if you get it through the hated Time Warner Service (don’t worry Cablevision, people hate you too), you’ll notice they’ve been locked in a fight to the death with CBS lately over broadcast fees. In order to relieve pressure on themselves though, and so you can see all the HIT SHOWS on CBS like uh, whatever they have, Time Warner will just straight up give you some rabbit ears so you can catch CSI: How I Met Your Two and Half Survivor Bangs or whatever.
If you contact Time Warner and demand a free antenna, they’ll give you one, provided they haven’t run out of them yet. If they have, they’re willing to give you $20 towards the purchase of an antenna at Best Buy, but good luck finding one for under $20 if this sucker sells out from their shelves. Why Time Warner, with their billions of dollars, can’t just buy a crapload of antennas is beyond us.
Far be it from us to point out that this offer is basically a distraction from the ravages of capitalism once again putting the little people in the middle of their dick swinging competitions and that the proper way to punish these yutzes would be to cancel your subscription and then download every CBS show you want to see. We won’t say it. Because communism is frowned upon in this country and our corporate overlord job creating class clearly knows better than us.