So now that people are over giant food companies saying their crap food made in a lab is “artisan,” the companies need to figure out a way to trick the public into thinking the mass-market crap they’re shoveling in their mouths is made with care and not reheated flash-frozen garbage. One trick? Learning from the genius who slapped “Brooklyn” on some rocks and sold them, Sbarro has decided to give themselves a Brooklyn rebranding. Finally, something that tries to appropriate Brooklyn and looks worse than the Brooklyn Athletic Club.
From the pages of the Columbus Business First, we learn that Sbarro is hoping to elevate themselves from “that chain pizza that isn’t Pizza Hut” by opening new stores in central Ohio called “Sbarro Brooklyn Fresh.” Does it mean a change in ingredients? Possibly making pizzas in a way that doesn’t cause people to experience joy when they eat them? No. They just want you feel the Brooklyn:
“It won’t stray from the existing Sbarro model into fast-casual, as the Pizza Cucinova brand does, but it will be a move to raise the perception of the brand.”
And yes, technically Sbarro does have a claim on Brooklyn, since before it was a mediocre chain, it was a deli and pizza place in Bensonhurst. But that was also a long time ago, well before Sbarro became synonymous with “decent at best.” And again, the rebranding won’t actually involve making the pizza any better, it’s just there to tell people in Columbus that this is exactly how they do it in Brooklyn. Which when you think about it, should thrill the “Go back to Ohio” crowd, because if people from Columbus think the pizza is just as sad here as it is there, why would they come live in Brooklyn?
Related Articles
Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with Drinks Specials & Free Food on Grand St! (Sunday, 3/17)
This SUNDAY (March 17), 13 bars along Grand Street celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with 29 drink specials and free food. This 8th edition of the Grand Street BID annual Pub Crawl makes you Sunday Funday easy – walk or stumble along just 6 blocks to eat and drink to your lucky charm’s desire. (ad)
The CBD Free-for-all Is Over for NYC Cafes and Bars
The NYC Health Department in now cracking down on cafes and bars that serve food and drinks with CBD
Whiskey Lovers Rejoice! Best of Dime Brooklyn Food & Beer Fest Features Unlimited Craft Beer and Whiskey (Sat, Jan 26th)
Whiskey Lovers Rejoice! The DIME Best of Brooklyn Food & Beer Festival just got even BETTER! Bulleit and Johnnie Walker are the […]
One Response to
Leave a Reply
I strenuously disagree with your comments about Sbarro’s. Sbarro’s is 100 times better than something like pizza hut. I recently had Sbarro’s while waiting for a train connection in New Haven, and I was extremely glad that it was there–RG