This Sunday, Punderdome 3000 moves to its new home at Littlefield in Gowanus after its previous home, Southpaw, closed to become a high-end stroller parking lot. If that makes you wonder if hipster parents must hang out in Maclaren Park in the summer time, then Punderdome is clearly the place for you. If you still haven’t been, Punderdome is a magical place where all your dinner-table-clearing groaners turn magically into standing-ovation-causing blockbusters. It’s like slam poetry for people who have no sense of rhythm. You might even call it slam pun-ditry? Anyway, it’s a fun way and cheap way to spend a Sunday night, but you don’t have to take my word for it: Brokelyn has three pairs of tickets to give away to the best punsters in our comments section! The topic is TAX SEASON. We’ll include a few puns to get you started below. Get yours in by 5pm Friday to win! Oh, and did we mention the surprise guest judge last month was Brooklyn’s own Michael Showalter??
-I turned the headphones on my TurboTax up too high; now I have auditory problems.
-My favorite Instagram filter is CPA (pronounced “sepia!”)
-I ran a company of knapsacks that carry super heavy things. Now I have to pay a lot of back taxes.
Put yours in the comments! (When entering, please make sure to register with your email address so we can contact you.)
Punderdome 3000, Sunday March 25, Littlfield, Gowanus, doors at 7:15, show at 8pm, $6 in advance.
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It’s pretty taxing to live in my building because at any moment, my neighbors could start blasting house music. I guess there’s just no accounting for good taste. But give me some credit here, I haven’t put superglue in their locks as revenge. Doing that would probably lead to hefty deduction from my bank account if I got caught, but I really feel like I owe them that kind of grief sometimes.
Do you think if a beleaguered tax auditor was suddenly assassinated by Madoff’s henchmen, his dying wish, which he’d text to his wife and vow to fulfill if he didn’t bleed out, would be to “See PA?”
Heyyy, Punderdome, you lookin’ fine today. Wanna make my Sunday night sweeter by giving me the gross recipients of your assets? But stop teasing me baby, I know withholding is sometimes the best policy, but there’s some inflation going on here and I need some holdover relief. Don’t worry, my roommates won’t hear us if we get too loud, as he has some auditory problems. And hey, baby, this isn’t just a one night stand or a brief fling, I don’t believe in accelerated depreciation. Bottom line, frisky financer? If you hook me up with Punderdome tickets, it’ll pay dividends. And I might– just MIGHT — give you a great return.
Think about it.
Well, I find the lack of participation in this comment thread to be entirely interest-ing.
Man, I’m not banking on anyone beating me in this competition!
a punster tried to hit on you, but his friend H&R cock Block-ed him.
My friend and I were getting coffee. I asked for a cup of mild with milk. Trying to best me, he ordered his strong and black. Never to be outdone, I asked for a shot of espresso in mine. My friend one-ups me and asks for two.
The barista, sensing what was going on, turns to me and asks…
“Double you, too?”
My accountant asked me “What’s you’re net pay?” So I said, “about 2 cents per click.”
So I was visited by the IRS because I hadn’t paid back taxes. I started blubbering like a little girl, trying to explain that filing had just slipped my mind.
“Fine,” he said.
“But wait!” I said, “I make all my money as a professional punster!”
He replied, “we still have to take punitive measures.”
“Ok, I lied. I made some money designing a cupola for Albany’s new state legislature,” I admitted.
He thought for a second and said, “We’ll put that under ‘capitol gains.'”
so I heard the FBI finally found a way to put Al Capone in prison: they caught him wearing this simply horrible yellow and black checkered suit and were able to charge him with “Taxi Fashion”
I had no idea how I was going to hide all my earnings from the IRS, so I nervously kept imploring the pilot to put down the plane until finally he said “K, man, I’ll land”.
My appraisal of this entire exchange is that this ticket offer will prove to be a constant yield method in terms of gathering together an impressive pool of punsters.
Would you call an accountant orgy a “CP-Lay?”
During my brief internship in the music industry, I was
tasked with designing the artwork for a new U2 album. It was for some two disc
live recording they were releasing and all I could think was “Geez..I can’t
stand U2 let alone a double U2.”
The Earths rotates on it Taxes!