Con Ed giving Brooklyn residents free LED bulbs to avoid building substation

It has come to our attention that Con Edison offers free LED bulb and other energy hacks through its “The Neighborhood Program – For Residents“. The program was announced by Con Ed in a post titled “Con Edison Says ‘Let There Be Light…And Let it Be Free!‘ published back in September 2016.

Why the sudden random kindness from a giant energy company? “Reducing demand for power in these fast-growing neighborhoods will help Con Edison defer the construction of a $1.2 billion substation while keeping service reliable,” it says in the Biblically-titled post. So you see, Con Ed really couldn’t care less about your lightbulb costs, they just don’t wanna build a very expensive substation. By “reducing demand for power in these fast-growing neighborhoods” Con Ed can put off infrastructure upgrades. Who needs modern infrastructure when you’ve got LED bulbs?

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Still though, if eligible you should clearly take advantage of the program and reap the short-term benefits of what sounds like a longterm loss. Eligible Brooklyn neighborhoods are: Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, Bushwick, Bedford-Stuyvesant, Crown Heights, East Flatbush, Brownsville, East New York, and Cypress Hills. A number of Queens neighborhoods are also eligible (but the Brooklyn neighborhoods were eligible first, so there, Queens).

Con Ed “has no limit on the number of incandescent bulbs it will replace for a residential customer” meaning you should have them replace literally every one of your incandescent bulbs with an LED, assuming you vibe with LED bulbs. They’ll also replace up to four compact fluorescent bulbs per custy.

“Con Edison estimates it will reach all 27,000 residential customers in the neighborhoods in the next year.” This statement is shocking for at least two reasons 1) There’s only 27,000 people in, like, all of eastern Brooklyn? Or is that a lot and we should be shocked it’s so many? 2) That seems very ambitious.

If you’re tryna LED it up, sign up on Con Ed’s website. Reps will also be coming door to door. Con Ed reps will have Con Ed swag on and red ID cards, but if you doubt that they’re really Con Ed employees (do they also happen to be a Nigerian prince deeply interested in your SSN? Did they bring five friends and want to shoot a porno in your kitchen while the bulbs get changed? Things to looks for) call up Con Ed Head (like headquarters, it rhymes) at 1-800-75CONED.

Because it’s good to know your discounts, Con Ed also has a number of other offers for eligible residents, include smart thermostat rebates and $1,000 heating equipment upgrade rebates.

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