Introducing… the hipster Christmas tree

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Nothing says F-ck Christmas like a tree that looks like a giant toilet brush. Just out from CB2—”unapologetically artificial” bottle brush trees made of white propylene, $39.95 and $79.95. “Silver wire and snow white bristles recycle cheer year to year,” the ad promises. We’ll admit to being no fans of CB2’s cookie-cutter urban sensibility in general, but these loo-derived devices are even more depressing than most of the retailer’s McLoft furnishings. It’s, um, Christmas. Don’t even the most diehard ironists occasionally let down their guards? And where can we find festively-colored urinal pucks to hang off the branches? Best trimming suggestion wins a Brokelyn t-shirt. (And if you love CB2, feel free to argue otherwise—we’re curious what people  think of their stuff.)

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12 COMMENTS

  1. It’s totally an oversized toilet brush! That’s awesome. I really want the t-shirt, but I can’t think of anything appropriately clever to trim with.

    If I had to, I’ve probably end up stringing chili pepper lights on it. I’d want to just scrub under the fridge with it, but then it would be stained and sad.

    Great find.

  2. personally, i like CB2 if only because I am obsessed with having the right glassware/serving pieces for the occasion and their stuff is decent and CHEAP for that.

    If I was making this a hipster tree, I would first string PBR can tabs together to make something like tinsel. Then for the ornaments, I would hang CDs of bands that I used to like until they became “popular” or “mainstream” and then I clearly couldn’t listen to them again because it wasn’t hipster-y enough. I would top the tree off with an ironic trucker hat.

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