Brooklyn Heights/ DUMBO

Free on Craiglist: ‘8 to 10 boxes’ of plastic fruit in DUMBO

Sorry, no plastic cookies this time
Sorry, no plastic cookies this time

If you pay any attention to the valuable lessons Michelle Obama and Cookie Monster have taught us, you know fruit and vegetables are somehow important. We hear produce helps you fight off diseases and make your plate more colorful and Instagram-worthy, so we’re for it. There’s just one issue: fruit’s kind of expensive. Luckily, there’s a stockpile of “8 to 10 boxes” of free plastic food available outside the offices at 20 Jay Street in DUMBO for anyone who wants some fake fruit, vegetables, and bread.

While biting it may cause horrible dental trauma, we can think of other uses for your new cornucopia. Send photos of yourself with the fruit to your mom so she thinks you’re eating well. Send daily apple photos to your doctor so he stays off your case. Take up painting again and make some lovely still life art. Or, if like some of us you’re Haitian and grew up with those dumb bowls of plastic fruit on your dining room table, take your suppressed rage out on them for never being edible food. We’ll probably be doing the same.

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