Craigslist famously has a ban on giving away or selling live animals. But they never said anything about dead ones, so why not get in on this pearl of a deal? A Queens resident posted this mysterious offer:
FREE oyster shells available for pick up Monday morning, October 22 (40,000 shells). Please respond to this email if interested.
As long as you’re going up to Long Island City anyway, why not stick around Queens and visit Hunters Point? Of course, it also raises the question of what one would do with 40,000 oyster shells. Make a suit of armor, like Kenji suggested? Dive into them like Scrooge McDuck does in all of his loot? Glue them to your neighbor’s car in an attempt to get seagulls to follow them everywhere? If you pick these up, the world can truly be your oyster. (Sorry)
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