Brokerlyn: Live in your own American Horror Story Hellscape for $1,600/month

Some deals are just too good that they are worth passing up. What’s that? A real cheap apartment in Brooklyn that you shouldn’t rent?

No, it’s not small, unsafe, or gross. For $1,600 a month, you can live in a fully furnished, one bedroom space in Sunset Park. The unit includes five rooms: bedroom, office/den, kitchen, and features laundry and storage. On paper, this all sounds great. Described as a “sumptuously decorated” abode, the listing showcases a horrific splendor of knick knacks, overpowering tchotchkes, and abhorrently patterned curtains and chaise lounges.

The furnished space is turn-key ready – so, uh, all you have to do is move in with your suitcase. Have a furry friend? The apartment doesn’t allow dogs, but no mention of cats. There is one major perk: shared backyard access.

If you’re considering renting the space – don’t forget your ouija board. We’re pretty sure this apartment is haunted. For starters, why is it full-furnished? Will the tenant come back in a year? Are you allowed to move the furniture around? Or, if you move a bauble due west, will your landlord break your legs because the porcelain doll should face due south? If you do take the apartment, drop us a line and tell us your story.

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