Bike vending machines to help you escape late-night flat tires

Beats getting used panties out of one. Take that, Japan! — Beats getting used panties out of one. Take *that*, Japan!

You can get all sorts of weird stuff in vending machines. You can also get soda and candy and other items that will, if not ut your life short, make living it more miserable. How about some useful stuff for once? Express Biker, a new business venture that’s put a pair of vending machines on Brooklyn’s streets this week is aiming to do just that.

There’s nothing more irritating than getting a flat tire in the hours when there are no bike shops open. And as great as it would be to be able to break in and leave some money for a tube, that is still highly illegal and frowned on by both the police and shop owners. Who knew. But a bike vending machine never closes, so provided you know how to change a flat tire, Express Biker could be a life saver. Or at least keep you from being even later than you would otherwise be.

Other than tubes, Express Biker also sells things like patch kits and lights. Which will come in handy if someone steals the light off the back of your bike like they did to us. Come on people. Currently you can only find the machines in front of the Emporium Gas Station (168 Flushing Avenue, Williamsburg) and a Mobil (415 Empire Boulevard, Crown Heights). But founder Shimon Kivman says he’s looking to expand, although he says that depends on people using the machines and also lobbying businesses to put them in front of their storefronts. So if you’ve got a good relationship with the dude at your bodega or a bar owner, now’s the time to leverage it.