There must be something very alluring about not just Brooklyn itself, but its name. Because despite the city rising up against the Brooklyn Flea keeping their Brooklyn name, with anger not seen since the Flyers gave goalie Ilya Bryzgalov all of the money and a key to the city, a reporter found a bagelry in Philly calling itself Brooklyn Bagels. Wisely, the shop’s owner didn’t say much to Philly.com’s Michael Klein, so he didn’t end up saying something dumb about brands.
Klein couldn’t even get Brooklyn Bagels’ owner Steve’s last name out of him, before he went on to throw his poor wife under the bus and say that she was in fact the one who owns the store. Steve volunteered that he was a Brooklyn native and had previously owned two bagel shops around here, and then said nothing else. Blaming it all on the wife aside, we won’t criticize the man for much in this instance. Like a missionary trying to blend in to a foreign culture, Steve is probably smart to not talk too much about Brooklyn.
The missionary analogy goes further though. Considering that what the rest of the country calls bagels are not so much bagels as much as they are flour discs of disappointment and horror, better used as frisbees, doorstops or paperweights as opposed to food, trying to provide bagels to anyone outside of New York should be considered God’s work. This isn’t a Philadelphia thing, this is an everywhere thing, so with any luck Steve’s business will thrive. Though we have doubts about his marriage now.
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I hope, for the sake of my brethren in Philly, that these bagels actually taste like brooklyn bagels. I love Philly but the bagel situation there is really desperate.