Who needs a lover when you have glitter? 5 ways to deck your body in sparkles this V-Day

Sure, a committed partner can provide you with kisses, cuddles, and a romantic dinner companion on today’s most capitalist, Hallmark bastardization of love — aka Single People Guilting Day. But who needs any of that when you can buy your weight in wholesale glitter for far less than the cost of all but the cheapest engagement ring?

On the real, you and your body are beautiful and a good way to remind yourself of this, especially when the world is hellbent on convincing you you need a man to complete you, is covering yourself in an obscene amount of sparkles. They’ll impede your eyesight so your peripheral vision is framed in a sparkly blur of iridescence that, while inconvenient for concentration, will literally soften your comprehension of the world by covering it in your own individual glitter-fog.

New Yorkers are famous for wearing all black, but we’re also famous for not giving a shit, so stage a personal rebellion against the February cold and dare to wear costume-level amounts of sparkles. It’s empowering, it’s pretty, and even though you shouldn’t ever wholly base your decisions on the reactions of others, you’ll be sure to brighten the days of the children and adults alike whose presence you grace as they slog through their commute only to notice your gleaming glittered face, a beacon of hope on a crowded F train. Paper Valentine’s are a nice gesture, but the beauty of strangers has a special power.

Here’s five ways to cover yourself in glitter this V Day.

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1. Flash Tattoos
These “jewelry inspired temporary tattoos” will make everyday your own personal Coachella. Relatively affordable (price varies by collection, which contain three to four sheets of tats and cost in the $20 range) they last about two weeks if you don’t shower frequently, less if you do. A great conversation piece, Flash Tats make for good everyday fun that are more or less just as work-appropriate as chipped nail polish in all but the most corporate environments. Notably, Flash Tat brand sparkle tats are for sale online only, although less chic glitter tattoos can sometimes be found within the rotating racks of stickers at toy shops.

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2. Art store glitter as eyemakeup
People are always asking me: “how are your eyes so freaking sparkly, you are actively blinding me, whenever I wear sparkly eye makeup I immediately sweat it off, what is your secret?”

Simple: industrial-strength art store glitter not intended for use on skin. If you can’t get it out of your clothes, you sure as hell won’t be able to get it off your eyelids. Unfortunately, this is definitely going to irritate plenty of people out there’s skin, but if you’re one of the lucky few who can take it, check out the glitter (the finer the better) section at your local art store and then gently dab some of it on and around your lids.

Usually sold in small, sample-like containers (we recommend against the huge tubs of glitter, as they tend to be of the chunkier variety and thus harder to apply. Also, getting multiple small, fine glitter types will allow you to have more color variety ) you shouldn’t be paying makeup prices for this glitter, but more in the $2 to $5 range, depending on size. Our favorite local spot to patronize is Artist & Craftsman, which has locations in Park Slope (307 2nd St.), Bushwick (1449 Broadway), and Williamsburg (761 Metropolitan Ave.).

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3. The Gypsy Shrine
The Gypsy Shrine’s products are marketed at festival-goers, but you don’t need the excuse of an overpriced three-day music gathering to make your face look like a Mermaid’s butthole. For real though, this British company has made a true art out of body glitter — their motto is “turning free spirits into colourful pieces of art”. Their products frequently sell out online, and vary from face jewels to large, chunky glitter that can be brushed onto the face or body for a unique effect different from that achieved by using more commonly available fine glitter. Gypsy Shrine’s glitter sells for a little less than a Pound (or $1.25 American) a gram on average.

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4. Ship your enemies glitter
Affordably priced ($9.99) glitter bomb packages make the perfect surprise for your exes, friends and crushes. Double the glitter/mess for $0.88 cents, and Shipyourenemiesglitter.com will send “the herpes of the craft world” anywhere in the world with a note explaining why you’ve decided to bestow on them this sparkliest of STDs. Or, send yourself a glitter bomb, and bask in the colorful chaos.

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5. UnicHorn Makeup Brushes
This one is not itself glitter, but the most thematically appropriate glitter applicator. They broke the internet when Teen Vogue discovered them over at Unicorn Lashes UK last year, and for good reason. They’re now available at a wide array of distributors, all of whom seem to sell out quite quickly. The ones pictured above via Sugar & Cotton are vegan and, as of writing, on sale for $19.98 for a 5-piece set with only two were left in stock.

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