And here you thought that old cookie duster was only good for winning obscure competitions and the occasional wild ride. It turns out your mustache may be saving your life in all sorts of ways: making people trust you more, giving you tax breaks, increasing attractiveness (obvs), saving money on grooming and lowering your risk of cancer (sort of). This is a all according to an actual doctor and Atlantic magazine editor who has set up the ultimate face bristle-defense argument. OK, he may not be 100 percent serious on all these things, but the last one sounds really promising; Free pancakes, which should come with a wet nap for constant mustache de-syruping. See the whole list here.
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I can totally get behind this.