9 apartments to help you escape your AirBnB neighbors


Hey, hey you! Are you sick and tired of living in the same building as some flophouse apartment for drunken Europeans? Well, while AirBnB and New York State fight out that mess, maybe it’s time you found a new place to live instead of having to depend on the government and people who use the word “disrupt” in a weird religious coming to some kind of timely arrangement. Don’t know where to start? We’ve got some ideas for you!

  • First off, we’ve got the above 3-bedroom in Bed-Stuy for $2400/month. Bed-Stuy is great, and so is the idea of living in a light-filled, renovated, pet-friendly apartment with a couple of friends. Or even some random people off of Craigslist, that’s a great way to make friends sometimes.


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  • Here’s how to make this $3500 2-bedroom townhouse in Boerum Hill work for you: Get at least two people to share a room, and use the garden (you’ll have a garden!) to rent space to people who are real big on the whole urban gardening, growing their own food thing. You might have some people covered in dirt tromping through the apartment sometimes, but man, this place seems really nice, so it’d be worth it.


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  • Holy moly, look at the kitchen. Nice counter to do prep work on, exposed brick, cabinet spce below-deck. And a microwave because ha ha, you’re not going to actually cook! The kitchen is part of a 3-bedroom in Crown Heights for $2600/month. Two of the bedroom have ceiling fans, so you can pretend you’re actually doing something about how hot it is next heatwave. Also comes with “an abundance of outlets”!


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  • This 2-bedroom in Park Slope will run you $2550/month, but we say go for it anyway. The price just dropped on it, despite the fact that it’s a sunny apartment in Park Slope. Why does no one want to live there? Maybe it’s haunted! And a haunted apartment is definitely a ticket to future revenue for you. And if it’s not haunted, then hey, you still live somewhere pretty nice.


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  • Hot damn, look at this $2300/month 2-bedroom in Greenwood Heights. Not only do you get 1.5 bathrooms, unlike those peasants who have just one, but it comes with laundry machines in the basement. You’ll live like a king here, or at the very least, a duke.


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  • Yes, this 2-bedroom for $1950 south of Prospect Park looks huge and like it gets a lot of light. That’s important! But even better than that, is that the building has an elevator. The days of you hoping to god that couch doesn’t crush you on the stairs while you’re trying to move it in are over! Plus the apartment has a foyer with a coat closet, so you can look like good, mature hosts, instead of just throwing your friends’ jackets on the floor when they come visit.


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  • Another place to feel like a grownup is the downright bucolic neighborhood of Ditmas Park. Grab this 3-bedroom for $2295/month¬†and you’ll also feel like you just grabbed a hell of a grown person deal. Of course, since you’ll be in the same neighborhood as bar we love Sycamore, you can prove to your new neighbors just how young and immature you still are with just one night on the town!


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  • Well, this 3-bedroom in Bed-Stuy for $2400/month is pretty freaking lovely. Even if you can’t use the fireplace, you still have that fancy kitchen, and every bedroom has a closet, so there’s no fighting over the one bedroom with one. It’s the top reason why friends end up hating each other after getting an apartment together.


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  • Wanna live in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens? Makes sense that you would. How about this 3-bedroom for $2700/month? You’ll not only have a completely renovated apartment and rooms that are good sizes, but you’ll also have two bathrooms, which will cut down on instances of standing outside the bathroom door tapping your foot with your arms crossed.

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