Five Thanksgivukkuh recipes you should try for the holidays

Our author (right) did not test these recipes but here he is with Wylie Dufresne, so they must be good. Right?

Our author (right) did not test these recipes so we don’t have any photos. But here he is with Wylie Dufresne, so they must be good.

This year, in a miracle that can only be compared to the beauty of a perfect shooting star, two of the most food-centric holidays on the calendar, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah, will be falling on the same day, though Hanukkah’s eight days helps the spread). Is Thanksgivukkuh a holiday we need? Probably not, but by combining two of the most artery-exploding cuisines out there, we here at the Brokelyn kitchen have devised some Franken-recipes that take the best of both worlds and create a dream team of gut-bustiness. Let the feasting begin. [Author note: FYI Most of these recipes are on spec. I haven’t been able to try them all out because I’d spend too much and have a shit ton of kugel. But the recipes are as solid as I can get them. Editor note: Lamb bacon, Kenji? ]

Sweet potato kugel
½ pound wide rye noodle
7 sweet potatoes
¼ cup tiny marshmallows
1 pound cottage cheese
1 cup sour cream
1/8th cup maple syrup
½ tablespoon salt
6 eggs
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp cloves
¼ cup raisins

Cut up sweet potatoes, put some oil on them, and roast in a 375 degree oven for 25-30 minutes, until fork-tender, and boil the noodles for however long the box says to do them. Mix the potatoes and other ingredients thoroughly (but not the marshmallows) and put into a casserole dish, and put the marshmallows on top. Bake for 30-45 minutes, until custard is set and everything is golden-brown, and remove. Use a tiny blowtorch (or hell, use a big one, whatever you got) to get desired carmelization on the marshmallows, and serve.

Squash Latkes
2 spaghetti squash
1/2 onion, chopped
2 eggs
1 cup flour
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp cloves

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees, clean out seeds and pulp from the middle of the spaghetti squash, poke some slits into the skin of the squash, cover with oil and roast, skin-side up, 35-40 minutes or until fork-tender. When it cools, pull the flesh away from the skin of the squash with a fork, and it should look all noodle-y. Let this cool, and sauté the onion on low heat until translucent and delicious. Mix all of your ingredients together now and form into patties. Once formed, fry them up on medium heat in oil until golden-brown and drain with paper towels.

Cranberry Sauce
1 12-oz package of cranberries
2-3 apples, cored and roughly chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, chopped and de-seeded
3/4 cup sugar
½ cup orange juice
2 T lemon juice
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp cumin
1 cup chopped onion

Sauté the onion and jalapeno on low heat until soft and add in all of the other ingredients. Bring to a simmer, and cook for 30-40 minutes until everything is soft and mashable, and take it off of the heat and, once cool, either mash or toss into a blender.

Gefilte fish Challah stuffing

16 cups challah bread, chopped and left to dry
3 cups chicken stock
2 cups diced celery, chopped
2 cups diced leeks, chopped
½ cup chopped almonds
3 lemons
1 cup gefilte fish, flaked
3 tablespoons chopped tarragon

Pre-heat your oven to 375 degrees, and sauté the celery and the leeks until soft, about 5-10 minutes on low heat. Juice 2 lemons and get the zest of 3. Combine all of the ingredients and mix well. Cover with foil and bake the stuffing for 30 minutes, then uncover and bake for 20 more minutes, or until golden-brown

Brussel Sprouts with pomegranate and lamb bacon
2 ½ lb brussel sprouts
8 tablespoons pomegranate molasses
2 oz lamb bacon, diced
seeds from two pomegranates
1 oz hazelnuts, chopped

Get a pot of water boiling and add in the brussel sprouts. Let them boil until not quite cooked, and then transfer them to an ice bath. Cook the lamb bacon and remove from the pan, and after carefully drying off and halving the brussel sprouts, heat up the pan to high and sear all of the brussel sprouts, flat side down, in canola oil. Once seared, remove them from heat, and mix with other ingredients.

As for the turkey, I’d recommend cooking it with your preferred method of choice, but for that extra jewish goodness, before sticking it into the oven, invest in some shmaltz (chicken fat), and stuff the gap between the skin and the breast with it. As anyone who has experienced the glory of shmaltz before can tell you, this is probably as close to that “god” person the old testament talks about as you can get.