10/23/15 12:11pm
A physical reminder that we're the best of the best

A physical reminder that we’re the best of the best

What’s the number one borough in all of New York City, the number one city in the entire world? It’s an argument that you could carry on for hours, days even without ever coming to a firm conclusion. Some might say that’s because there’s no actual objective way to measure who’s number one, but soon there will be, after Brooklyn installs an enormous two-story bronze arm with its index finger pointed skyward in a gesture that will remind everyone coming over the Brooklyn Bridge that Brooklyn is Number One. Don’t like it? You can just turn your ass right around and go back to Manhattan. (more…)

05/29/15 8:19am
(Relatively) smooth sailing. By Sam Corbin

(Relatively) smooth sailing. Photo by Sam Corbin

Bike month may be coming to a close, but riding season is just beginning. In that spirit, we wanted to bring you some cyclist-friendly service information. If you’re a two-wheeled commuter, you begin every day with the same dilemma: which bike lane should you take to Manhattan? It’s not so straightforward, after all. Three bridges, three bike paths, all of which leave you generally downtown—but is one really better than the other? Brokelyn’s here to help. We’ve broken down the pros and cons of each bridge and ranked them best-to-worst, so you know exactly what you’re getting into before you start the climb. (more…)

05/20/15 1:06pm
4th of july fireworks

AMERICA. via Flickr user Ann Althouse

We fought for them and carried on for a few years and got them back last year, but let’s be honest, just one year of fireworks wasn’t enough. So we’re happy to report that the Macy’s Fourth of July fireworks celebration will once again be taking place along the East River. The announcement came earlier today from Mayor Tall himself, as he calmed the nerves of those who didn’t want the celebration moved back to the Hudson. If New Jersey wants to celebrate the Fourth of July, they can get their own fireworks spectacular. (more…)

03/25/15 11:23am
Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.

Right? There is, isn’t there? Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.

Brooklyn may not be where I was born and raised, but eight years, six jobs, five apartments, three ER visits, and one Brooklyn Bridge tattoo later, it’s where I belong. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken here. I’ve trained for a marathon here. I’ve woken up to water bugs crawling out of the drain, dead rodents, and roommates’ random hookups. I’ve made friends, lost friends and attended funerals. I vote here. My nephew was born here. I’ve dipped my toes in the Gowanus, kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge, and volunteered after Hurricane Sandy. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.  (more…)

11/17/14 11:17am
brooklyn bridge

Locals only? via Flickr user David Papworth

The Brooklyn Bridge is a beautiful architectural jewel, a feat of engineering impressive both when it was built and 131 years later as it still stands. It’s also, for better or worse, a tourist attraction that brings out of towners, in love with the view and the aura of the bridge, clomping across it in huge numbers every day. It might be time to reexamine the relationship New York City allows tourists to have with the Brooklyn Bridge though, in light of yet another asshole deciding to make the bridge his own personal jungle gym. This is hardly the first crime committed by tourists against our iconic span lately, so the question must be asked, and we’ll be the ones to ask it: Is it time to ban tourists from setting foot on the Brooklyn Bridge? (more…)

09/02/14 10:51am
green-wood cemetery clown

Yeah wait…what was the deal with this feaking clown?

We here at Brokelyn are sadly aware that Summer ’14 ended in spirit yesterday, on Labor Day. This year’s summer was known for two things: the temperate weather which we’re sure we’ll pay for with a winter hellscape, and the mysteries surrounding a group of events which have captivated us all of Brooklyn, probably.

The biggest mystery Brooklyn was scratching its head over this summer was the pair of white flags sitting atop the Brooklyn Bridge, put there in place of the American flags that adorned the top of one of the most beautiful structures in America. We’re not fans of freelance decoration of the Brooklyn Bridge in general here, but we have to admit, there was something sort of interesting about those flags. Who put them there, and why? Random jokes on Twitter claiming responsibility for the flags were also met with an outsized reaction by the authorities who were clearly frustrated with the lack of information they were able to unearth themselves. We had a bonafide caper on our hands.

Then we found out some German artists did it, and after we got over our relief that there wasn’t some sinister reason for the flags being put there, we settled in with the disappointing fact that it was some silly art thing. Anyway, we’re not getting burned by a mystery’s uninteresting resolution again. We already saw the last season of LOST. But hey, that was only one of the many mysteries swirling around our fair borough. We still have others, and we want answers. Interesting answers. (more…)

08/12/14 3:49pm
brooklyn bridge white flag

Mein Gott, it was ze Germans all along. via Mark Weprin’s Twitter

Hey, everyone remembers the Brooklyn Bridge white flags, right? We hope you do, it was only the biggest story of the summer for five minutes until we all moved on to people tying their garbage to the bridge. The question of who done it has been a great parlor game, with everyone from jokey twitter accounts to stoned activists taking responsibility, but the New York Times talked to a couple German artists who claimed responsibility. The artists also gave with some actual proof, a video taken from the top of the bridge that shows the white flag proudly flapping in the breeze. We shoulda known it was ze Germans. (more…)

08/08/14 3:23pm
love trash

What the fuck is this shit. Photo by Jen Jones, via Women You Should Know

Why people decided they wanted to mar the beauty of the Brooklyn Bridge with a bunch of Master Locks and turn this landmark into a row of middle school lockers we will never know, but now that people seem to have gotten the message not to do that, they’ve replaced it with something even worse.

Jen Jones of Women You Should Know noticed that now people are tying garbage to the bridge. People are tying their fucking garbage to the national treasure that is the Brooklyn Bridge to symbolize their love or their trip there or some other bullshit reason that idiotic bullshit people think of. Knock it off. Knock if the fuck off RIGHT NOW. (more…)

07/22/14 11:00am
Good idea, Brooklyn Bridge. via Mark Weprin's Twitter

Good idea, Brooklyn Bridge. via Mark Weprin’s Twitter

Move over, brown goo in Gowanus, New York City has a new mystery to be collectively baffled by: Why has the American flag that proudly waves on top of the Brooklyn Bridge been replaced by the white flag of surrender? City Council member Mark Weprin spotted the flag and began asking questions this morning, and according to DNA Info, police are baffled and are looking at surveillance footage to see who could have pulled this off. Our theory? The Brooklyn Bridge, after standing tall for 131 years, is finally throwing in the towel. (more…)

05/22/14 11:26am
love locks

Little did Madison know she caused a massive car accident. via Flickr user Robert Hoge

Despite what you might think, the odds are that your relationship won’t last forever. Even if it goes until the end of your life, you die, and then that’s that. So we get it, you buy a Masterlock or lock of some sort and attach it to the Brooklyn Bridge, to leave a permanent memorial to the person you used to bone. The problem with this, according to the Department of Transportation, is that you’re killing the bridge, so they’d like you to please stop doing this. Plus, they’re pretty sure this won’t save your failing relationship anyway. (more…)