Why do the items that turn up in gift shops every year around this time have so little to do with any of the men we know? Golf ball this and that, leather desk crap, and the worst: hip flasks. Sorry, but if he’s tucking a nip into his cargo pocket at Prospect Park, he needs an intervention for Father’s Day. So with actual Brooklyn fathers in mind, we made the rounds in a few different neighborhoods. This being Brokelyn, we also had a budget: $50 and under. Our first find: a dress-’em-up-or-down classic every prepster dad should have (if he doesn’t already): Vans boat shoes. $45 at Private Stock, 458 Bergen St. between Flatbush and Fifth Avenue, 718-230-0055, www.privatestockny.com.
The nester’s equivalent of mud flaps: Mermaid hooks, $6 each, Bob & Judi’s Coolectibles, 217 Fifth Ave. between Union and President sts., 718-638-5770.
A “growler” refillable beer bottle for $4.95 and a $25 gift certificate for Dad to have his way with. At Grab, 438 Seventh Ave., between 14th and 15th streets, 718-369-7595.
From Matter, a few novel finds with the foodie in mind. First, manly man Japanese bottle openers shaped like shop tools, for $25. On to…
…what could quite possibly be the perfect cheese grater. No mess, looks ruggedly chic on a summer table. $21.95. Then there’s…
…a date-night grill, portable but only really big enough for two—sorry kids! Made by Sagaform, it comes with a tote bag. All told, $40. Openers, grater and grill from Matter, 227 Fifth Ave., 718-230-1150, www.mattermatters.com.
They wouldn’t let us take photos inside the store, which is okay because they’d be too embarrassing to run. But you can certainly find lots for under $50 at the sexy Father’s Day workshop at noon, where dads will get 10 percent off, all day. Babeland, 462 Bergen St. between Fifth and Flatbush, 718-638-3820, www.babeland.com.
Everyone’s doing plaid hats with clashing bands this summer, which look great… on the shelf. But no one’s gonna look like a tool in one of these mesh Kangol caps, $48 at Rime, 157 Smith Street, 718-596-1511, www.rimenyc.com.
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. Coffee mugs, $12 at The Future Perfect, 115 North 6th St. at Berry Street, 718-599-6278, www.thefutureperfect.com.
The perfect antidote to midlife crisis: a skateboarding lesson. Group sessions offered every Saturday and Sunday for $30. Skateboard and helmet rental is another $20. Homage Brooklyn, 718-596-8151, www.homagebrooklyn.com.