Now Hiring in BK: NYLON, Mario Batali, John Stamos Quiz Show

Magazines about what's in right now are so in right now. Via NYLON

Magazines about what’s in right now are so in right now. Via NYLON

Brooklyn is a big place, and getting bigger every day, since random boroughs are rapidly becoming annexed by deranged real estate agents. Point is, if you’re looking for something out there, you’re likely to find it, whether it be a significant other who likes home-brewing and needlepoint rap lyrics as much as you do, or finding a place where you can get a damn whiskey coke without judgement and under 7 bucks. More than anything, though, it means that if you’re looking for an awesome job involving doing what you love, it could only be mere stops on the G train away. Which is to say, several hours. But the ride will be worth it once you find yourself breaking out of your boring desk job and expressing your inner dancer/sommelier/poet/psychopath!

Would you consider yourself a fan of poetry? I mean, it would definitely explain why you’re reading an article on where to find great jobs, but still, if you’d like to put your love of prose to use, then head over to the Academy of American Poets, where they are currently hiring on a new Advertising and Marketing Associate. While the job requires some knowledge of ad sales and some marketing/communications mojo, it also takes an abiding love of the rhyming word. If you’ve got some slick sales moves and a love of poetry that goes beyond limericks, send in your resume today, and make sure it’s in iambic pentameter.

For the more trusting person out there looking for their big break in arts (without a particular care as to which one), there’s this listing for an Assistant for a Film Production/Music Publishing company with an art gallery and a recording studio. While the company itself isn’t listed, it looks like these guys offer experience in more than a few different fields, and all they’re asking for is someone with design and promotion experience, which is most of Bushwick, and ideally someone with a passport (international travel, perhaps?). If you’re interested in Film Production/Music Publishing/Art Hawking/Recording Golds/Jetsetting game, send in your resume, preferably in at least seven mediums.

Do you want a job? Why do you want a job? What is a job? If you think you’ve got a good answer to any or all of these questions (or at least the first one), then good news! That Philosophy degree is about to come into use, thanks to Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group, and their new opening for an Editorial Assistant for their Philosophy department. The job involves managing writers and setting up a few of their press options, but a big chunk of your time would involve reading and editing philosophical books and generally solving the giant mysteries of life. If you want to ponder spiritual enlightenment and the answers to the universe, your journey is over. Or is it just beginning?

If you’re into fashion, NYLON is hiring on a new Junior Campaign Coordinator, a dream position for any blooming fashionistas out there. The job title is pretty straight-forward, with you joining onto the NYLON team to help manage their new campaigns and wrangle tastemakers and new talent to help make the world a more stylish place. While the gig requires some experience in the “social media/fashion/watching Devil Wears Prada several times” department, the ad doesn’t say how much. If you’ve got the drive and that certain eye for design, it’d be a Fashion Don’t not to apply.

Some people can knock back Two-Buck Chuck and enjoy their night like they were drinking the finest Dom Perignon, but some people are cursed with a more discerning palate, and those poor folk are doomed to ache for the good stuff. Cursed no more: B&BHG, Mario Batali’s restaurant group, is looking to hire on a new Sommelier for one of their several New York City restaurants in need of a booze captain. If you can guide your way through a wine list like it was a coloring book and have some experience in the service industry (again, most of Bushwick), then this could very well be the job for you. Just remember, no drinking on the job. Or, always drink on the job. It’s one of the two.

Do you have the moves? If you find yourself asking “What moves is he referring to?”, or “I don’t know, do I?”, or “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but most certainly not.” (In that case, move on.) But if you’ve got a powerhouse pirouette, a dance studio in Midtown Manhattan is currently hiring new instructors for full-time roles in making spazzy little children into gloriously elegant gawky teenagers and adults. They’re looking specifically for people with experience in Ballroom and Latin dances.

Finally, if you’re like me, you’re probably relatively sane. If you’re not like me though, then you’re a deeply insane individual who spends their free time cutting the eyes out of Full House posters! If you fall into the latter category, then please dear god get help. Or, you know, if you’re looking to make an idiot of yourself in public, there’s always reality television! And this one’s a doozy: There’s a John Stamos quiz show looking for Contestants. That is, not a quiz show hosted by John Stamos, but a quiz show with questions exclusively about the one and only John Stamos. Good luck, Mr. Stamos, and may God have mercy on your soul.