Hell yeah, bitch: A ‘Breaking Bad’ coffee shop might be coming to Brooklyn

Are we sure they're not making meth in there? via Facebook

Are we sure they’re not making meth in there? via Facebook

It’s been two years since Walter White died a heroic death (or just had an extended dream sequence about it) and Breaking Bad shuffled off our TV coil. Just because the show is gone from TV doesn’t mean it has to be gone from your lives totally though, and we’re not just talking Netflix marathons. A Turkish coffee shop that’s Breaking Bad-themed, from coffee roasters wearing HaZmat suits to coffee being served in beakers, is raising money on Kickstarter to open in Greenpoint. Say what you will about the limits of the charms of theme restaurants, this is a better idea than the Will Ferrell bar on the Lower East Side.

Walter’s Coffee Roastery is an Istanbul-based cosplay coffee shop that takes its commitment to a coffee shop based on a famous meth lab pretty seriously. So that means, per this Mashable profile, that there are custom-made coffee bean holders modeled on the chemical tanks used to create meth, coffee roasters in the back wear HaZmat suits and breathing masks (which maybe shouldn’t just be a gimmick) and blue rock candy and cupcakes that come with blue crystalline sugar chunks on them.

At the moment, owner Deniz Kosan won’t cop to being a secret drug kingpin, so he’s asking for your help in opening a Walter’s Coffee Roastery in Greenpoint. Seeing as how Brooklyn real estate is the only game in town more ruthless than the meth industry, Kosan is asking for $55,000 to make his dream come true, but he also breaks down where your money will be going in a bright yellow chart:

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Yes that’s right, if you donate $110,000, you too can experience the thrill of riding around in the back of a rickety old RV while hot liquids capable of leaving severe burns rattle around in your vicinity. Tossing some money to the Kickstarter can get you rewards ranging from the small ($10 gets you a coupon for free coffee and some stickers) to the medium ($100 gets you on their periodic table Wall of Fame and two tickets to the opening party) to the absurd ($5,000 gets you coffee for life and all of the merchandise being given to the other backing tiers). Of course, if the coffee shop is REALLY committed to Breaking Bad, we’ll hopefully learn that this really was just a cute way to front a drug operation and it will explode under customers’ feet one day. Brooklyn has seen weirder.

[h/t DNA Info]