Greenpoint’s ‘hipster soldier’ confirms, explodes stereotypes

Look at this fucking soldier. via DNA Info

Look at this fucking soldier. via DNA Info

Hipsters, am I right? Constantly ruining everything they touch, with their food trucks and their fixies. Their giant beards and their selfless military service. Wait, their what? Yes, as if to prove that people are more than their stereotypical beards, DNA Info found a veteran who returned from Afghanistan who hangs out in McCarren Park, owns a fixed gear bicycle and has a cousin who ran the Endless Summer truck. Even worse, you guys, he’s not even originally from here. The noive, right?

Dennis Tierney is just your average young person who lives in Greenpoint. He has a fixie, he has a beard, he likes hanging out at Skinny Dennis and he’s originally from Virginia. Except he’s not like your average young person in Greenpoint because he also just came back from an eight-month tour in Afghanistan with the New York National Guard, helping to train the Afghan police . You know those hipsters, always traveling the world, trying to get authentic experiences on their parents’ dime.

Tierney told DNA Info that his unit nicknamed him “The Hipster,” owing to the fact that he came from Brooklyn, and possibly because his cousin owns the Endless Summer taco truck, one of his friends runs the company that does the $65 brunch tour, another one has her own handbag company and he does things like stretch out in McCarren Park’s grass while wearing jeans. All hipster hallmarks, of course.

To his credit, Tierney doesn’t go around using his military service time to pick up chicks with adorable pixie haircuts and sleeve tattoos, and is planning on staying in the Guard and going to school for his MBA. But just remember next time you see someone with a huge beard and ridiculous hat, that they very well may have seen much, much worse shit than you ever did.

12 Comment

  • Thank you for your service.

  • One hipster goes to Afganistan for a non-combat role (LOL@ “seen much worse shit than you ever have”) in the National Guard and now we’re supposed to fawn at the knees for the hipster population?

    I commend the guy for his service but c’mon Brokelyn.

    • Please, fawn over us. But not at the knees, we’re all terribly embarrassed about our knees.

    • “for a non-combat role”

      It’s true. No one who has ever gone to Afghanistan with the intention of not being involved in combat has ever been in any danger. I hear when they attack over there, they ask, “Are you ‘in’?” first.

  • You know? No, you don’t know, so I’m gonna let you know:
    Not only does your post inform your viewers of how ignorant you are, it informs them that you, Mr. Colon, contribute to the very stereotype as to why our generation is considered to be the worst one.
    You wanna talk, “stereotypical”? Let’s talk.

    “…a veteran who returned from Afghanistan who hangs out in McCarren Park, owns a fixed gear bicycle and has a cousin who ran the Endless Summer truck. Even worse, you guys, he’s not even originally from here.”
    ^ Oh, the horror!

    “…he has a beard…”
    ^ Geeze!!! After having to presumably sport a clean cut shave everyday while on active duty, he just hadddd to go and grow a beard! #jerk

    “… just came back from an eight-month tour in Afghanistan with the New York National Guard, helping to train the Afghan police. You know those hipsters, always traveling the world, trying to get authentic experiences on their parents’ dime.”
    ^ ?! What ?! When I asked my parents for an authentic experience in a war zone they refused & told me to ask Uncle Sam!!!

    Actually scratch that — I can’t even come up with something because WHAT YOU WROTE IS BEYOND RIDICULOUS!

    It seems as if you just couldn’t resist the temptation of projecting your own insecurities by manipulating what was once a wonderful, inspiring article about a selfless solider returning home to “appreciate everything so much more” into some negative rant about… well I’m not sure Mr. Colon, what exactly was your article about?
    Enlighten me because I am clearly very confused. You couldn’t have honestly written something so ludicrous & expect applause from anyone with a brain and/or heart … or could you?

    Oh & the caption to the photo… That’s right – look at it.
    That’s all YOU really can do.

    • Well, let’s explore this, for it looks like we have a contextual issue.

      For about 8 years there has been a subset of native Brooklynites who despise anyone that 1. has a beard, 2. rides fixed-wheel bicycles, 3. comes from outside Brooklyn and 4. lives north of Prospect Park. These Brooklynites have dubbed them “hipsters” in an effort to pigeon-hole them and set them apart from the only “true” people who belong in Brooklyn. Their major complaint is that hipsters are ironically chasing an “authentic” lifestyle while simultaneously destroying any and all authenticity in the world.

      This mentality is embodied in the websites DieHipster and Look at this Fucking Hipster (Cf. Mr. Colon’s caption). Brokelyn has regularly been included in this hipster category by its detractors, especially the former website’s maintainer, who spends most of his day imagining himself murdering hipsters.

      It’s unlikely Mr. Colon, after over two years of contributing to Brokelyn, would suddenly join their ranks. And if he did, it is unlikely he would he announce this conversion in a single article while then continuing to edit and moderate the site for the next two days.

      What I suspect is that Mr. Colon, through the use of sarcasm, was pointing out absurdity of lumping thousands of people together based on their clothing and facial hair while also ignoring everything else they may have done (such as serving in Afghanistan).

      Of course, with Dave you never know.

    • “I am clearly very confused” – wins you $200, and you have control of the board. There are still 2 Daily Doubles out there!

  • If you hate America so much, Mr. Colon, why don’t you GO BACK TO THE MIDSIZED OHIO CITY FROM WHENCE YOU CAME

  • Well it can be dangerous if your handling troops your suppose to train happen to turn on you or the errant IED.
    Good for him for surviving it unscathed.