It’s unfortunate, but there are still people who move to Brooklyn and consider it some kind of exotic foreign land. Even worse than that, plenty of media outlets will give them the space to wax rhapsodic about what a strange and enchanting place they’ve moved to. You know, because you have a house. In a city. Vogue talked to Miranda Brooks (who’s a landscaper for the well-to-do) and Bastien Halard, a couple who moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan and seem eager to troll their new neighbors with the most stunningly oblivious quote in the history of Brooklyn trend stories.
While droning on and on about their garden, Halard drops this bomb: “We said, ‘We’re going to Brooklyn, so let’s just pretend we’re moving to the country.’ ”
Oooookay then buddy. Because Brooklyn is exactly like the country, which is why you need to make your iPhone ring a cricket chirp noise as opposed to actually listening to real crickets. Plus, these bougie mothers live two blocks from the Gowanus Houses. The whole thing is worth a read, especially since it fulfills your FDA requirement for rage at rich people and includes an anecdote about how the poor dears were getting on without their housekeeper. Who’s stuck out on Long Island because Sandy wrecked the LIRR.