03/23/17 2:32pm
Photo via St. Mazie / Facebook

Photo via St. Mazie / Facebook

The streets of New York may not be paved with gold, but there was a time when they were paved with something better: oysters. Before New York Harbor was New York Harbor, it was to oysters what the Fertile Crescent was to humans. People have written entire books on the archeological significance of the giant piles of shells left around New York, and when they discovered a midden (which is the academic word for “pile of trash”) on the Statue of Liberty in 1980, it took them until 1998 to excavate the pile.

I don’t have the patience to dig through oyster shells for 18 years, but I did have the patience to dig through all the $1 oyster happy hours in Brooklyn. Voila: (more…)

03/10/17 5:50pm
Get nasty.

Get nasty.

It may seem hypocritical, but sometimes the best way to fight capitalism is with capitalism. As the Trump administration turns Idiocracy and Black Mirror from a dystopian film and TV show into Nostradamus-level prophesies, our tax dollars are spent on militarizing the perimeter of Trump Tower, and we are berated on a daily basis by news of new lows in the history of democracy, it is hard to think beyond the mentality of fear the current administration has imposed on us. One silver-lining, however, is that where there are strong negative emotions, there is often great art, and ever since the election cycle, people have been churning out anti-Trump merchandise faster than you could say “bad hombre”

Because we defend your first amendment right to shout “Trump sucks!” from the rooftops, Brokelyn has rounded up the best of said joke merchandise on the web right now. If you have a few dollars to spare, donate them to Planned Parenthood, the ACLU or another local charity that needs and deserves your money. But after that, buy yourself one of these neat items. You deserve it for living under the Trump Administration and going about your daily life instead of curling into the fetal position and crying in bed all day. (more…)

03/06/17 9:00am
Photo via PLG Coffee House and Tavern / Facebook

Photo via PLG Coffee House and Tavern / Facebook

Whether you’re studying, writing, or getting your caffeine fix, the merits of Brooklyn’s cafes are numerous. There’s our forever friend, coffee, the presence of other likeminded humans, free WiFi, sweet treats for a snack break. They’re warm in winter, cool in summer, and plenty of them have backyard space. They’re a time-proven haven for artists, writers, and the world-weary, and more than ever they’re popping up all over Prospect Lefferts Gardens. This has not always been the case for PLG, but the area is now more freelancer friendly than ever.

There’s ever more places to choose from the area, but here area a few of our favorites (and if you have questions regarding camping out at your chosen spot, see our guide to cafe camping etiquette). (more…)

02/17/17 3:30pm
Trump Apocalypse

I demand to see Trump’s birth certificate as proof he was born in the U.S. and didn’t descent from hell. Photo via Crooks and Liars

Fear-mongering aside, the world will probably (fingers crossed) make it through the Trump presidency: Rome didn’t fall in a day, and neither will America. That said, it never hurts to be too prepared, and since your best bet is probably to never leave the liberal echo chamber of NYC, here are Brokelyn’s recommendations for Brooklyn’s best hideout locations to hunker down in case of Trumpocalypse that causes war, disease or just a bunch of gentrifying Pepe the Frogs and wait until the next election, or Judgement Day (whichever comes first).

Criteria considered for qualifying locations include visibility, isolation and good local public schools, in case of impeachment. In the event of nuclear fallout, there’s no point hiding: we’re all going down together. (more…)

02/06/17 3:15pm
Date night on a budget: A comprehensive list of Brooklyn's best BYOB restaurants

Enjoy the shinobi ramen at Shinobi Ramen with your own hand-selected booze. via Facebook

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could go out to dinner and be certain that your favorite alcoholic beverages were available, for around $3 per drink? Have we got news for you: Brooklyn has some awesome BYOB restaurants, so going out to eat and drinking cheap doesn’t have to exist only in your dreams.

A BYOB restaurant is a beautiful, cost-effective option often overlooked in a city where you’re constantly stuck $12 for something you already have in your fridge and could’ve poured into your own mason jar. We’re obviously not taking any kind of anti-bar stance here, but if you have a few odd beers at your apartment and want to get rid of them, why not take them out for a night on the town at at one of Brooklyn’s best BYOB restaurants? (more…)

01/12/17 3:12pm
DC for days: The Brokelyn guide to your Women's March weekend in Washington

You should protest, but you can go get a coffee, too. via Flickr user Paul Sableman

Even if you’re going to DC to protest the terrible, terrible thing that’s about to happen (and by a number of measures, has already happened) to America, it’s fine to enjoy the city while you do it.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re big believers in using your own two feet to send a message (and we’ll see you at the march!), but a city can also be enjoyed outside of its political mire, especially when the city is running so many deals to benefit charities during Inauguration Weekend. Yep, that’s happening.

We’ve put together a quickie city guide for three days in Washington DC, Jan 20-22. Like most of our guides, it’s full of cheap and free stuff, and includes a few worthwhile splurges. Whether you’re stuck there on 💀Inauguration Day💀  or the day after the Women’s March or all of the above, this guide offers food, drink and culture recommendations from a whole bunch of DC creative types as well as info about discounts, deals and other special happenings during the March. Go enjoy DC before Trump suffocates it in a coat of tacky gold paint. (more…)

01/10/17 1:07pm
Think global, vote local: Everything you need to know about NYC's local elections in 2017

Borough President Eric Adams, Mayor Bill de Blasio, and Public Advocate Letitia James are all up for reelection in November. Via websites.

While the happy liberal bubble that is NYC probably won’t vote anyone drastic into office this year (although Mayor Pizza Rat would be an interesting social experiment) brace for a good deal of local government turnover in 2017: 59 city offices are up for vote in November. The mayor, comptroller, public advocate, borough presidents and all 51 City Council seats will be on the ballot this fall for New Yorkers to reelect, dethrone or, as most of the country did in November’s Presidential election, do nothing and leave it to the rest of the city to decide.

The races are all still young, and with most of the city still reeling from Trump’s unpresidented (get it?) seizing of the highest office in the free world, it’s easy to forget how important 2017 is for NYC politics. While you may be convinced humanity has doomed itself and democracy to an orange-colored destruction, it’s important to take whatever time we have remaining and channel your frustrations with the incoming federal administration into local politics. Indeed, local politics are sometimes, both in the long and short term, more consequential than national politics (and more fun too, in my humble opinion).

Don’t be just a once-every-four-years-voter, pay attention to what’s happening in your community and you’ll not only be more informed but can also hold it over the heads of those who aren’t paying attention. (more…)

11/18/16 1:23pm
Via Flickr user wasik.

Via Flickr user wasik.

Canada may sound like a chill place to move right now, but I promise that if you can’t handle the polar vortices of a Brooklyn winter, you cannot handle the sting of Canadian expatriation. If you’re still willing and able to consider a change of scenery after this election season, move to a place where your voice will have an impact on the social level, as well as the political.

Instead of buying a one-way ticket to some other idyllic foreign country, consider instead the much cheaper cost (and the ultimate moral high ground) of a domestic flight to a beautiful new home in a swing state where you can actually make a difference! That way, rather than running away from America’s problems like children, or tunnelling deeper into our East Coast bubbles, we can opt to build safer communities all around the country.

While red-state America may be the LAST place some of you are willing to venture, word on the street is that there are indeed some neater spots in Swingtopia, and I’m here to take you to ‘em. And even though some of these places are less diverse than the glorious melting pot that is New York City, if we keep our social justice goggles on I’m sure we can avoid displacing communities when moving across state lines and we can stand stronger together. (more…)

11/08/16 11:13am
We all need an escape to nature right now and this hidden Greenpoint trail is the answer

Photos by Bridget McFadden.

It’s been a long 18 months. If the all-consuming and nauseating electoral coverage we’ve been marinating in has you world-weary and longing for an antidote, it might be time for a nature walk, immediately. In this city, you can pretty much get whatever you want, whenever you want it; with the exception of “peace and quiet,” of course. So it helps to have a couple quick-fix nature tricks up your sleeve. If you need a dose of tranquility pronto, start where you least expect it: the Wastewater Treatment Digester Eggs illuminating the horizon between Brooklyn and Queens. These monuments of industrialization will actually lead you to the covert wilderness salvation of the Newtown Creek Waterfront Nature Walk.

At first, this nature walk seems ironic. Newtown Creek is one of the most polluted waterways in the nation, and was designated a superfund site in 2010. In fact, on my first visit recently I was sort of expecting the trek to be a bit of a stunt – “look at me, I hang out in oil spills” – but I was mistaken. It is hands-down the most tranquil spot in the neighborhood, and it is exactly what you need to chill out and refresh your perspective. (more…)

11/03/16 3:42pm
Here are all the cheap BK election night parties where you can drink until you die

It’s an election pile-on! via Dardy Bar’s instagram

Finally. FINALLY. After two years of political campaigns from dozens of candidates, followed by the world’s most grueling overtime face-off between semifinalists 4 prez Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, the general election comes to its much-awaited end this Tuesday, November 8.

It’s sure to be a night to remember— which is exactly why you shouldn’t have to. If anything, this is our last chance to drink ourselves into a blissful Obama-livion before “the next four years” with a certain someone begin. We’ve rounded up all the cheap election night parties in Brooklyn, since you’re going to need more than one drink. We’ll keep adding to this list as more come up, so stay tuned if you don’t see one you like just yet. Though as far as we’re concerned, just about anything beats dealing with the nail-biting anxiety of the vote count alone. (more…)