I demand to see Trump’s birth certificate as proof he was born in the U.S. and didn’t descent from hell. Photo via Crooks and Liars
Fear-mongering aside, the world will probably (fingers crossed) make it through the Trump presidency: Rome didn’t fall in a day, and neither will America. That said, it never hurts to be too prepared, and since your best bet is probably to never leave the liberal echo chamber of NYC, here are Brokelyn’s recommendations for Brooklyn’s best hideout locations to hunker down in case of Trumpocalypse that causes war, disease or just a bunch of gentrifying Pepe the Frogs and wait until the next election, or Judgement Day (whichever comes first).
Criteria considered for qualifying locations include visibility, isolation and good local public schools, in case of impeachment. In the event of nuclear fallout, there’s no point hiding: we’re all going down together. (more…)
Enjoy the shinobi ramen at Shinobi Ramen with your own hand-selected booze. via Facebook
Wouldn’t it be cool if you could go out to dinner and be certain that your favorite alcoholic beverages were available, for around $3 per drink? Have we got news for you: Brooklyn has some awesome BYOB restaurants, so going out to eat and drinking cheap doesn’t have to exist only in your dreams.
A BYOB restaurant is a beautiful, cost-effective option often overlooked in a city where you’re constantly stuck $12 for something you already have in your fridge and could’ve poured into your own mason jar. We’re obviously not taking any kind of anti-bar stance here, but if you have a few odd beers at your apartment and want to get rid of them, why not take them out for a night on the town at at one of Brooklyn’s best BYOB restaurants? (more…)
You should protest, but you can go get a coffee, too. via Flickr user Paul Sableman
Even if you’re going to DC to protest the terrible, terrible thing that’s about to happen (and by a number of measures, has already happened) to America, it’s fine to enjoy the city while you do it.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re big believers in using your own two feet to send a message (and we’ll see you at the march!), but a city can also be enjoyed outside of its political mire, especially when the city is running so many deals to benefit charities during Inauguration Weekend. Yep, that’s happening.
We’ve put together a quickie city guide for three days in Washington DC, Jan 20-22. Like most of our guides, it’s full of cheap and free stuff, and includes a few worthwhile splurges. Whether you’re stuck there on 💀Inauguration Day💀 or the day after the Women’s March or all of the above, this guide offers food, drink and culture recommendations from a whole bunch of DC creative types as well as info about discounts, deals and other special happenings during the March. Go enjoy DC before Trump suffocates it in a coat of tacky gold paint. (more…)
Borough President Eric Adams, Mayor Bill de Blasio, and Public Advocate Letitia James are all up for reelection in November. Via websites.
While the happy liberal bubble that is NYC probably won’t vote anyone drastic into office this year (although Mayor Pizza Rat would be an interesting social experiment) brace for a good deal of local government turnover in 2017: 59 city offices are up for vote in November. The mayor, comptroller, public advocate, borough presidents and all 51 City Council seats will be on the ballot this fall for New Yorkers to reelect, dethrone or, as most of the country did in November’s Presidential election, do nothing and leave it to the rest of the city to decide.
The races are all still young, and with most of the city still reeling from Trump’s unpresidented (get it?) seizing of the highest office in the free world, it’s easy to forget how important 2017 is for NYC politics. While you may be convinced humanity has doomed itself and democracy to an orange-colored destruction, it’s important to take whatever time we have remaining and channel your frustrations with the incoming federal administration into local politics. Indeed, local politics are sometimes, both in the long and short term, more consequential than national politics (and more fun too, in my humble opinion).
Don’t be just a once-every-four-years-voter, pay attention to what’s happening in your community and you’ll not only be more informed but can also hold it over the heads of those who aren’t paying attention. (more…)
Canada may sound like a chill place to move right now, but I promise that if you can’t handle the polar vortices of a Brooklyn winter, you cannot handle the sting of Canadian expatriation. If you’re still willing and able to consider a change of scenery after this election season, move to a place where your voice will have an impact on the social level, as well as the political.
Instead of buying a one-way ticket to some other idyllic foreign country, consider instead the much cheaper cost (and the ultimate moral high ground) of a domestic flight to a beautiful new home in a swing state where you can actually make a difference! That way, rather than running away from America’s problems like children, or tunnelling deeper into our East Coast bubbles, we can opt to build safer communities all around the country.
While red-state America may be the LAST place some of you are willing to venture, word on the street is that there are indeed some neater spots in Swingtopia, and I’m here to take you to ‘em. And even though some of these places are less diverse than the glorious melting pot that is New York City, if we keep our social justice goggles on I’m sure we can avoid displacing communities when moving across state lines and we can stand stronger together. (more…)
It’s been a long 18 months. If the all-consuming and nauseating electoral coverage we’ve been marinating in has you world-weary and longing for an antidote, it might be time for a nature walk, immediately. In this city, you can pretty much get whatever you want, whenever you want it; with the exception of “peace and quiet,” of course. So it helps to have a couple quick-fix nature tricks up your sleeve. If you need a dose of tranquility pronto, start where you least expect it: the Wastewater Treatment Digester Eggs illuminating the horizon between Brooklyn and Queens. These monuments of industrialization will actually lead you to the covert wilderness salvation of the Newtown Creek Waterfront Nature Walk.
At first, this nature walk seems ironic. Newtown Creek is one of the most polluted waterways in the nation, and was designated a superfund site in 2010. In fact, on my first visit recently I was sort of expecting the trek to be a bit of a stunt – “look at me, I hang out in oil spills” – but I was mistaken. It is hands-down the most tranquil spot in the neighborhood, and it is exactly what you need to chill out and refresh your perspective. (more…)
It’s an election pile-on! via Dardy Bar’s instagram
Finally. FINALLY. After two years of political campaigns from dozens of candidates, followed by the world’s most grueling overtime face-off between semifinalists 4 prez Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, the general election comes to its much-awaited end this Tuesday, November 8.
It’s sure to be a night to remember— which is exactly why you shouldn’t have to. If anything, this is our last chance to drink ourselves into a blissful Obama-livion before “the next four years” with a certain someone begin. We’ve rounded up all the cheap election night parties in Brooklyn, since you’re going to need more than one drink. We’ll keep adding to this list as more come up, so stay tuned if you don’t see one you like just yet. Though as far as we’re concerned, just about anything beats dealing with the nail-biting anxiety of the vote count alone. (more…)
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. It follows that when life gave us the current election cycle, many tried to turn a profit on it. Ample Hills kept things chill with candidate-themed ice cream flavors; a number of New Yorkers tried to profit in a different way by putting up Craigslist hookup ads for debate-watch sex; and all over the internet, people started churning out anti-Trump merchandise faster than you could say “bad hombre.”
Because we defend your first amendment right to shout “Trump sucks!” from the rooftops, Brokelyn has rounded up the best of said joke merchandise on the web right now. If you have a few dollars to spare, donate them to Hillary! But after that, buy yourself one of these neat items. You deserve it for sitting through last night’s presidential debate without imploding. (more…)
Once more into the breach: go ahead and down a few drinks while watching the final debate on Wednesday.
Finally, after what feels like a campaign that has lasted since before most of you were born and will still drag on until most of us are dead from exhaustion/rising sea levels/Trump internment camps, we have reached the presidential debates. The final debate of this election goes down Wednesday Oct. 19 at 9pm, and it should be a hell of a blood sport: it’ll either be Hillary Clinton’s chance to prove that she’s the only actual adult running for president who has at least read one or two books about international politics, or the chance for everyone in the nation to collectively face palm while thinking “I can’t believe she’s really going to blow this.” Either way, being out and about among your fellow Brooklynites with a drink or two or 13 in hand is recommended.
Here’s our roundup of bars showing the debate on Wednesday, including bars with drink specials, debate bingo and free Cheez-Its (because of the orange guy). Most are also showing the subsequent debates, and all are free. We’ll update the list as more roll in too. And don’t forget to bring our Brokelyn debates drinking game with you too! (more…)
A lot of people who’ve had them say that finding out you have bed bugs is like finding out you have an STD. But are we talking HPV or HSV2? Who do you need to tell and why? Are you morally obligated to lock yourself in a clothes dryer until the menace dies down so that you don’t spread the infestation to others? Should you call out of work? Let’s break it down. (more…)