rats off to ya!

What turns you from a run-of-the-mill rat enthusiast into a true rat lurver? I’d guess it’s probably a lot like with drug use: it’s the procurement and maintenance of official paraphernalia that separates the pros from the amateurs. If you so choose to cross this line, take note: a Craigslister on the border of Bushwick and Queens lost their beloved pet rat last week, so now they’re giving away a 10-gallon aquarium, unused animal bedding, unused lab blocks (food), some chew sticks and a water bottle cage. The owner says they’d prefer it go to a good home, which probably means the kind of home free of rodent infestation. Hey, wait, I … oof. But maybe you can turn your pestenemies into your Pest Friends Forever?

Thrift is kinky

What says “I lurve you” to that special brokester in your heart more than some well-meaning thriftiness? And what says well-meaning thrift more than … slightly used sex games? An unidentified Greenpointer on Craigslist today is giving away their collection of sexcapades, which includes Lovers’ Lotto Game, I.O.U. The Game of Hidden Pleasures, Sexual Coupons and (for some reason) refrigerator magnets. Contact at your own risk, because, as with anything on Craigslist these days, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

Greenpoint curbside, photo by Flickr user mugsniffer

As if fears of secondhand bed bugs weren’t enough, the Daily News reported yesterday about a Park Slope man hit with a $100 fine after leaving his dresser curbside in hopes some other Brooklynite in need would pick it up. Gothamist follows up: not only is it illegal to leave bulk trash when it’s not a regularly scheduled trash day, you could also land a $100 fine for picking up that curbside lamp, table or dresser. And if you try to load it into a car, you could face a staggering $2,000 fine. ”I feel like the system of putting furniture on the street for others is a deep-rooted part of Park Slope culture,” the fine victim vented in a Park Slope parents forum, according to the Daily News. So if you’re worried about being taxed for your attempted benevolence, you can turn to Brooklyn FreeCycle or ye olde Craigslist freebies section. Or if you just want to get rid of it ASAP, there’s plenty of ways to do that too.

Are you too poor for skydiving? Is human suspension too 2003? Is dumpster diving not satisfying your need for adventure and risky food? This free soup from 1997 ups the ante. Says the owner: “I think it might make a lovely addition to your bookshelf but I highly recommend that you probably don’t eat it, unless you are a frat guy and this part of traditional yet cruel hazing.” But if you decide to open it, you may want this free HalfLytey bowel prep kit, to, uh, prep your bowels. And if the pre-millennial soup is not exciting enough for you, you can sift through a mysterious 42-year accumulation in Canarsie. We imagine it to be beanie babies, rare vinyl and belly button lint.

No syrup left behind

Someone went to a party in Greenpoint, got 500ml of 100 percent PURE Canadian maple syrup a gift, then, left their lumberjack’s gold behind, unclaimed. So the host listed the unopened bottle for free on CL! The host suggests it’s “great for pancakes, waffles, french toast, glazes and general sweetening,” just in case you got so excited you forgot what to do with syrup (Thank you, CL). Anyone who prefers not eating straight maple-flavored high fructose corn syrup knows the real straight-from-the-tree stuff is expensive. Bonus: The bottle will make for a great future whiskey flask. Recycle win.

One man’s ultimate laziness is another man’s beer money. This bag of change can be yours for absolutely nothing. Yes, free money. All you have to do is weed “through the cigarette butts also in the bag” for what the owner guesses is about $20. It’s in Williamsburg, so I say soak it in bleach, Coinstar that crap and get some booze to finish your snow day. Maybe you’ll get enough to get a cab to DUMBO so you can pick up some free bikes.

This plate is ugly, but at least it's free

It’s hot and it’s staying that way, which means people in New York are agitated, which means crime goes up. Here’s a tip: DON’T STEAL. Someone is likely to track you down these days, like author Jami Attenberg, who became a Brooklyn hero of Batman-level status last week when she hunted the perp who stole her bike and nailed him in a sting using internet research (the batarang of the non-playboy billionaire set). Why steal anyway when Craigslist is just bursting with free crap for the taking? Here’s our picks for some free things you could get right now without fear of retribution from broke vigilantes. (more…)

Luckily, you don't need all this space to home brew

St. Patrick’s Day is almost here, and your choices to celebrate probably involve drinking of some kind, either by sneaking a cup o’ brew down to the parade or by going to the bar and ordering the drink-and-shot combination with a politically volatile name. Or, instead, you can commit to learning the art of brewing yourself, to save some cash next year, and to feel like your drinking habit is also a productive one.

Tonight, the folks at Brooklyn Brew Shop are giving away free home brew kits and other beer-related schwag for YOU if you can pass a test of craft beer trivia. The shop crew will be holding down The Double Windsor in Windsor Terrace from 7-9 p.m., where they will host beer trivia, and give away free 1-gallon homebrew kits, including ingredients for black & tan, grapefruit honey ale and new juniper- and coriander-spiced “Bel-Gin” Strong.

The Brew Shop opened in 2008 to help city folk brew their own beer in apartment-sized batches. Practice trivia question to get you ready for tonight: What has two thumbs and loves free beer schwag?

Have you heard of Ecofreek, the new search engine that scans sites like Craigslist, Kijiji and Classified Ads for free and swap/trade items people no longer need? We hadn’t either, and maybe there’s a good reason for that. The site promises “the most diverse and accurate results anywhere in the world,” and after running a few test searches, we can confirm that the results are diverse indeed. (more…)