09/28/16 2:00pm
Deliver us from evil — via Seamless

Deliver us from evil — via Seamless

Step aside, Nate Silver! There’s a new authority on presidential polls in town: Seamless.

The food delivery giant ran its own poll during the presidential debate Monday night to see whether lazy, hungry millenials prefer Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Or, at least, to see whose supporters were lazier, hungrier and more likely to order Seamless on a Monday night.

Customers were given a discount on the night of the debate using competing coupon codes “IMWITHHER” and “IMWITHHIM,” and it should be no great surprise which code was more popular in New York, at least amongst people who understand how to order food on the Internet. And who better to predict the future of our country than the No. 1 service of New York’s softest millennials?

It looks like Trump was right to fear “cyber,” evidently, as Seamless’ poll results were a landslide for Hillary, to the tune of 82% to 18%. Looks like those 400 lb. hackers are ordering in with a vengeance. (more…)

09/26/16 8:00am
Speedy Romeo providing custom pizza boxes. via @sliceouthunger on IG

Speedy Romeo providing custom pizza boxes. via @sliceouthunger on IG

Looking to grab a New York slice on a Brokelyn budget? You’re in luck! Slice Out Hunger is hosting their eighth annual Dollar Pizza Party on Wednesday, October 5, where for only a buck you and your friends/family/Tinder dates/strangers you met on the subway can skip counting calories and indulge in a gooey slice or two, or 10.

The event is in Manhattan, but it’s well worth the price and the pizza. Plus, it’s for a good cause.

Slice Out Hunger is a nonprofit, volunteer-based organization in New York that believes in using the superpowers of pizza for good by using it to raise money to fight hunger around the country. What started off as a glorified $1/slice pizza party eight years ago has turned into the pizza equivalent of Comic Con, featuring your favorite slices from over 50 ‘za establishments in NYC and totaling up to (currently listed) 1,500 pizzas. (more…)

09/21/16 2:31pm
Jalapeno Mac for all. via IG

Jalapeno Mac for all. via IG

The Brooklyn Bazaar came back to Greenpoint this month in its shiny new digs —  [SPOILERS] — and we sure are looking forward to having a place to drink, eat, see live shows, do karaoke and buy our holiday gifts all in one this winter.

But if you’re itching to get there sooner, we recommend tonight, because The Brooklyn Star is offering a smorgasbord of FREE food from the restaurant’s full menu at their Bazaar location! That menu includes fried chicken, jalapeño mac n’ cheese, ham hock collard greens, chili frito pie and more rib sticking southern-inspired dishes that’ll make you glad you can still eat red state food and retain your blue state values.

So drop by the Bazaar anytime tonight between 6 and 9pm for a taste, and while you’re there, check out the venue’s private karaoke rooms, mini golf course and ping pong in the downstairs lounge.

RSVPs strongly encouraged!

09/13/16 3:33pm
Finally, Isa Chandra Moskowitz is giving Brooklyn our own fancy vegan restaurant

Drool over this Mac n’ Shews platter ($22). via Instagram

As you probably know by now, your Brokelyn editors are vegan. And even though our junk food dreams were answered earlier this summer with a vegan slice pizza joint, and we finally have a list of cheap vegan sandwiches in the borough, Brooklyn is still sorely lacking in the kind of upscale vegan dining options that can impress skeptical meat eaters. Manhattan has Candle 79 and Dirt Candy. Where’s our vegan omakase?

Well actually, it just got here.

Celebrated vegan chef Isa Chandra Moskowitz, Brooklyn-born hostess of Post Punk Kitchen and the author of some of the best vegan cookbooks out there,  is opening a local outpost of her Omaha, Neb., restaurant Modern Love on Sept. 21, and it promises a mouthwatering menu of fancy vegan fare that’ll make even the carnivores drool. Think cashew mac n’ cheese, curry fried rice with seitan pork, eggplant parmesan lasagna, blistered shishito peppers and more.

Brokelyn chatted with Moskowitz about the menu, how her Jewish Brooklyn roots inspired the food, and what we can expect to start modern-loving once the restaurant opens its doors.

“I grew up in Brooklyn and learned to cook here, so my very earliest dreams were to have a restaurant here,” Moskowitz told us. “My cooking is inspired by all the wonderful food I grew up eating in Brooklyn.” (more…)

09/06/16 9:56am
Ample Hills becoming a world of pure imagination with its Roald Dahl 100th birthday celebration

Ample Hills Roald Dahl tribute month includes this Fantastic Mr. Fox flavor: sweet cream with swirls of apple cider caramel and ginger molasses nutmeg cookies. Via Instagram

The sad passing of Gene Wilder last week gave us a moment to revisit, in teary eyed nostalgia, the greatness that was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and to remind ourselves again how unnecessary the Tim Burton remake was. I’m no studio executive, but it seems like instead of supplanting a classic movie character with a creepy, Michael-Jackson-inspired simulacrum, Burton and co. should have instead just adapted the book’s sequel, the drastically under-appreciated Willy Wonka and the Great Glass Elevator. That tale takes our heroes into orbit in the famous elevator, encountering a great space hotel and facing off against the nasty vermicious knids and other delights borne of the endlessly imaginative mind of Roald Dahl.

Alas, no movie can accurately capture everything Dahl, who died in 1990, accomplished (see the disappointing reviews for The BFG this summer). But where movies fail, let’s turn to ice cream: Dahl would have turned 100 on Sept. 13, and while the footprint of his joyful nonsense is still appreciated lots of places today well beyond movies, he’s getting a special tribute all month from one of Brooklyn’s own confectionary wizards: Ample Hills. The beloved local chain is offering a special Fantastic Mr. Fox inspired flavor, holding events all month and even bringing in the real-life Matilda for an appearance. Kids, adults and knids (vermicious or not) are all welcome.  (more…)

08/24/16 3:42pm
The Pour House of Bay Ridge has Friday Teacher Happy Hours, where the teachers bartend. Photo via Facebook.

The Pour House of Bay Ridge has Friday Teacher Happy Hours, where the teachers bartend. Photo via Facebook.

We’re all upset that summer is drawing to a close, but teachers throughout the city are especially bitching right now because their two-month-plus vacation is ending in just two short weeks. That’s right, kiddos and profs, the first day of the (public) school year is Thursday, Sept. 8. But luckily for the teachers (we don’t have any news with which to console the kids, unfortunately), there is one silver lining to going back to work: once school starts, a number of Friday teacher happy hours at Brooklyn bars start back up again as well.

It’s good to get drunk with your fellow teachers, so you can commiserate with those who share your particular grievances—unlike your non-teacher friends, who are done with hearing you complain about your “kids.” But we at Brokelyn, and the select bars providing the deals, appreciate your hard work; we can only imagine how molding young, or really, any minds, must drive you to drink!

Check out these six BK bars providing opportunities to get f-cked up for less after a rough week in the classroom —they’re all on Fridays, which we guess is good, because teaching hungover really sounds like hell. Let us know in the comments if we missed any! (more…)

08/22/16 2:00pm
Photo via @dunkindonuts on Instagram.

Photo via @dunkindonuts on Instagram.

I’m a cold brew iced coffee nut. I make it at home and drink it year round, even on the chilliest of winter days, when my hands will go numb from clutching it on a walk to the train. I’m not a cold brew snob, per se, but I don’t really want to mess with iced coffee if it isn’t prepared that way. (For those unfamiliar, the cold brew method consists of steeping coffee grounds in water for roughly 12 hours and then filtering it out.)

I’m accustomed to the smooth, less acidic taste resulting from the cold brew, having grown up drinking it in New Orleans, where iced coffee has always been cold brewed — and back then, it wasn’t even designated “cold brew,” because there wasn’t a need to differentiate it.

In the past few years, in New York and other major cities, cold brew iced coffee has become much more ubiquitous. Once only available at boutique coffee shops, it’s now bottled and canned and stocked at grocery stores, and national chains like Starbucks have begun adding it to their menus. Just this month, Dunkin’ Donuts, jumped on the cold brew caravan, offering it nationwide. (more…)

08/22/16 10:40am
Via Instagram user @niitoflyy_ornaww.

Via Instagram user @niitoflyy_ornaww.

It’s tough being a roving freelancer in New York City: Cafe owners are cracking down on free wifi, #brands are constantly co-opting your hustle and you get so frustrated at not being paid on time, sometimes you just got to sing about it. It can seem like the city is conspiring against you, closing in around you and constantly raising the price of cold brew when you are just looking for a seat and a reliable wifi signal.

But lo, fear not, for today we learn of one company stepping up to help out overworked freelancers: TGI Fridays, the nation’s leading app-developer, is offering a “Fridays Office” coworking space with free wifi at its Forest Hills location starting this week. It happens to coincide with the return of its Endless Apps special too. If your work schedule would be drastically improved by making your weak freelancer’s body stronger by consuming a feed bag full of mozzarella sticks and the occasional blueberry Long Island iced tea, get your ass to Forest Hills.  (more…)

08/18/16 2:25pm
Help us #feedhuma. Photo via @quepaso_daniel1993

Help us #feedhuma. Photo via @quepaso_daniel1993

In a recent profile in Vogue, Huma Abedin revealed that she’s so harried at work as Hillary’s top aide, she has never once left the campaign headquarters for lunch. “When someone recently asked for a lunch recommendation near the office, Huma didn’t know a single eatery in downtown Brooklyn,” writes Nathan Heller.

Huma, we know you’re busy, and yes, the Shake Shack line is very long, but come on, how many sad Seamless desk lunches can one woman endure? If there’s anything Huma deserves after putting up with a husband who just can’t stop/won’t stop sliding into DMs, it’s a hearty mid day meal.

We at Brokelyn are here for Huma with a list of suggestions of nearby lunchtime fare. Call us her temporary interns. (Another good question: where do Hillary’s interns eat lunch???) Check out our list, and offer your own suggestions in the comments. #FeedHuma! (more…)

08/17/16 12:30pm
The Great Cornholio: 8 of the best bars for playing bags in Brooklyn

Photo via Brooklyn Crab.

To say a lot of Brooklyn’s ~hipster~ culture has been influenced by the Midwest would be… accurate. Mom jeans, dad bods, PBR — there’s a lot of goodness to borrow from the so-called flyover states. And now we can add another thing to the list of Midwestern traditions making an appearance in our fair borough: bags.

Cornhole, bags, bean bag toss, baggo — whatever you want to call it, the number of places in Brooklyn to play the king of all yard games is on the rise, and we’re pretty psyched. (Though for the record, it’s bags. What is this, Ohio?). It’s the perfect game for almost any occasion — a nice summer day, relaxing at the beach, tailgating this fall.

You get to drink while playing, but you’re not playing to drink, ya know? It moves fairly quickly, and you can still be social, so it’s not like you have to make some big commitment to go isolate in a corner for an hour during a party. And though we wouldn’t call it a spectator sport, it’s more entertaining to watch than a lot of other games.

While we’re happy to see more and more bags sets around town, we’ve also noticed most of these spots don’t have any house rules, meaning wiley tourists or people from Massachusetts are just making up their own rules, willy-nilly. And that’s no good. To help spread the love and entertainment — and to save you from the embarrassment of not knowing a woodie from a cornhole* — here’s a quick guide on how and where to play your new favorite bar game.
*JK, no one really cares about this.

Also, because we know this is going to come up in the comments, it’s worth noting that although the exact origins are unknown, this game likely got its start in southern Ohio, where it’s most commonly referred to as “cornhole.” Different parts of the country call it by other names. (more…)