02/13/15 4:06pm
It's either this, or going outside. Via simplyrecipes.com

It’s either this, or going outside. Via simplyrecipes.com

Very soon, that most beloved/behated holiday of the year is going to fall upon us: Valentine’s Day. Of course, this means that people are in the position to spend lots of money for the sole purpose of impressing their significant other, but for Brokelyners, it means something very different: time to start making stuff. Yep, everyone knows that hand-made gifts are better because: 1. It translates your true love and compassion and 2. You’re so poor you use delivery napkins as toilet paper. Also, good God, it’s murder-stoppingly cold outside.

Making dinner for your boyfriend/girlfriend is an instant panty/boxer dropper, saves you a ton of money, and couldn’t be easier to do. To illustrate that point, here are two super-simple recipes for a romantic night snuggled up inside with the thermostat set to 90°. (more…)

02/11/15 2:47pm
Mmmm...Cheap things. Via Le Barricou

Mmmm…Cheap things. Via Le Barricou

For all those Brooklynites that are constantly stalking up and down Grand Street scouring beer bars and thrift shops (a.k.a. the majority of the staff at Brokelyn), I’ve got excellent news for you: Grand Street Restaurant Week is back in action! No longer will you have to browse through Antoinette or sip at Breukelyn Bier Merchants with a grumbling stomach, because from February 16 to February 22, restaurants all up and down Grand Street will be offering 2-course lunches from $8-$10 and 3-course dinners ranging from $18-$30. (more…)

nuteria

This ain’t kosher, apparently. via Instagram user dallekvist

Apparently imitation isn’t the dearest form of flattery, and neither is all-out worshipping: Nutella, the unstoppable behemoth of chocolate-hazelnut spreads, is suing Nuteria, the Park Slope shop dedicated to all things Nutella-y, yet again for having a name that is too similar to their own moniker according to the Daily News. Aw, nuts. (more…)

02/06/15 8:00am
brokelyn beer book

Beer would never break up with you.

Flowers and dour, sweets are beat and all those other heteronormative gifts are really heterBOREmative gifts. This Valentine’s Day, don’t disappoint your boo with some Hallmark-approved shlock (or, heavens forbid, a ticket to see Fifty Shades of Grey). Because instead, what says “I love you” more than “here are 30 free beers now let’s go get druuuuunk”?

Today is the last call to order the Brokelyn Beer Book in time for delivery before Valentine’s Day. Our middle Brooklyn (Park Slope, Cobble Hill, Red Hook, etc) edition already sold out for the year, but you can still buy one for South Brooklyn & Rockaway or our brand new Upper Brooklyn book, which contains coupons for beers at more than 30 bars in Williamsburg, Bushwick, Bed-Stuy and Greenpoint for just $30! Order one here now; they’re only available once a year! (more…)

02/05/15 3:11pm
meatball shop

Look at all those balls. via Facebook

There’s bad news all around, whether we’re talking about the rent or about balls. So fine, we’ll give in and share at least a little bit of good news with you, at least on the ball front. The Meatball Shop has managed to stick around for five whole years, which almost qualifies for a miracle at this point when it comes to beloved New York restaurants. So, as a thank you to people for keeping them alive these years, you can get a $5 dinner at the Lower East Side location (84 Stanton Street) Monday. (more…)

02/03/15 4:36pm

Well, that certainly didn’t take long. After Budweiser fired an electro-soundtracked shot across the bow of fancy shmancy craft beer drinkers, essentially questioning their manliness, a craft beer trade group has fired back with their own video. Beyond being about how you drink craft beer specifically because you want to taste the thing you’re drinking, it also questions whose version of beer production is actually MOAR MANLY, since craft beer is brewed by hand and not by untrustworthy robots. We’re not sure if this commercial also being soundtracked by a B-side Justice would refuse ownership of is part of the parody or if that’s just what people do nowadays. The ad doesn’t go as far as saying “Budweiser tastes and looks like piss, so enjoy that you fuckers,” but we figure we’re just one or two more commercials away from that.

[h/t GrubStreet] (more…)

02/02/15 11:02am

Last night’s Super Bowl had many highlights: Chris “Hardball” Matthews coming out of nowhere to almost be MVP, Katy Perry’s confused sharks, possibly the worst football call of all time and on top of all that, Budweiser coming out and declaring they fucking hate microbrews, mustaches and people who want their beer to taste like something. So much for Bud’s hipster outreach program. (more…)

01/30/15 8:55am
shake shack

via Facebook

Shake Shack is suddenly valued at $746 million, $200 million more than they were worth last Tuesday, and a staggering amount of money for pretty good hamburgers. Fine by us though, because they’re using their newfound wealth to play Rich Uncle Meatbags, announcing they’ll be giving away breakfast sandwiches and hamburgers today in front of the New York Stock Exchange. Inside will be men screaming “BUY!” and “SELL” and things about capital gains. Outside it’ll be snowing and you’ll be waiting for a free hamburger. Advantage: You. (more…)

01/29/15 3:54pm
roberta's pizza

Apparently these Roberta’s pies aren’t some of the 100 best things you should east this year. via Flickr user Premshree Pillai

Recently, Yelp released its 2015 list of “Top 100 Places to Eat in the U.S.”, and we were mighty surprised to see that only a few places in New York—none of which are in Brooklyn—made the cut. For the love of all that is Traif, in the name of Roberta’s, what does this mean? Has New York finally lost its foodie luster and been reduced to the likes of mediocre drive-through towns, with nothing but corporate eateries and a few white tablecloths to show for all its growing pains? (more…)