Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

05/20/15 2:51pm
Watch out, I heard this lunatic put the last Account Coordinator in the hospital. Via Facebook

Watch out, I heard this lunatic put the last Account Coordinator in the hospital. Via Facebook

Hello Brooklynites, and sorry. I’m sorry that we live in such dangerous times, with rabid real-estate brokers pawing at our neighborhoods, a militarized police force clashing with the government, and, of course, bears. Now, there are many things you should be worrying about, but getting a job shouldn’t be one of them. I can attest first-hand that there are still jobs-a-plenty floating around New York City, and I can say this with the utmost authority since I have spent my week combing through job listing after job listing to find you some of the best possible chances at employment on the market. So, worry not Brooklyn, because your future career starts today! That is, if you’re not eaten by bears on the way to the interview. (more…)

05/06/15 3:51pm
victoria's secret

Want to be an underwear executive? Keep reading! via Facebook

Welcome, millionaires of Brooklyn, and please join us in this week’s MansionMania™! What’s that? You aren’t a millionaire? You’re actually pretty broke, you say? I should read the name of the website, you say? Well, if you’re going to get all hissy about it, I suppose you could use a few more revenue streams (not that your Etsy for dogs made of dog hair isn’t making bank), so how about a new job? Luckily for you, we here at Brokelyn have already taken care of that bit by combing through every inch of the internet, and, after taking a long shower in bleach, compiling every decent job available in New York as of right frickin’ now. So, if you can’t find a good job here, then there’s no hope in finding it anywhere else, and best of luck in your dog Etsy. (more…)

04/22/15 3:53pm
Now with more SkyNet! Via Facebook

Now with more SkyNet! Via Facebook

Ah, springtime in the city. It’s a magical time of year, reminding us of the winter hell-scape come to past, and the burning sweatbaths that await us in the near future. In these perfect moments, stuck between the mirroring unpleasantness of New York weather extremes, it seems like the days can go on forever. However, if your job sucks and makes you want to smash a window, that might not be a good thing. Lucky for you, it sounds like the solution to your problem is to simply find a new, better job, which is even simpler when we here are Brokelyn bring you some of the best career opportunities hiring this week. Cherish this time instead of dreading your job, because soon enough you’ll be sweating puddles in the subway station and cursing the bastard who invented “sleeves.” (more…)

04/08/15 3:20pm
Because chocolate factories are notoriously terrible places to work. Via Flickr

Because chocolate factories are notoriously terrible places to work. Via Flickr

The end is nigh! Wait, why are you throwing that trashcan through a window? Oh, I should have specified: The end of your less-than-ideal career is nigh! If you consider yourself to be a generally talented person with little-to-no body odor and killer workplace banter about the latest Game of Thrones episode, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t be out there working at the position of your dreams, or at least, not sitting at home all day. Seriously, you’re talking to the cat too much. Way too much. To that end, we here at Brokelyn have yet again corralled some of the best career opportunities in New York just for you, because we care about your wellbeing. And the wellbeing of Mr. Whiskers.

03/25/15 8:23am
Magazines about what's in right now are so in right now. Via NYLON

Magazines about what’s in right now are so in right now. Via NYLON

Brooklyn is a big place, and getting bigger every day, since random boroughs are rapidly becoming annexed by deranged real estate agents. Point is, if you’re looking for something out there, you’re likely to find it, whether it be a significant other who likes home-brewing and needlepoint rap lyrics as much as you do, or finding a place where you can get a damn whiskey coke without judgement and under 7 bucks. More than anything, though, it means that if you’re looking for an awesome job involving doing what you love, it could only be mere stops on the G train away. Which is to say, several hours. But the ride will be worth it once you find yourself breaking out of your boring desk job and expressing your inner dancer/sommelier/poet/psychopath!

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03/11/15 2:45pm
On one hand, you get to be around these all day, but on the other, you can't eat all of them. Via Roberta's Pizza

On one hand, you get to be around these all day, but on the other, you can’t eat all of them. Via Roberta’s Pizza

Hello, residents of Brokelandia, and welcome to another edition of Now Hiring! I’ve recently heard word that a strange new season is coming about, one that doesn’t involve ice rain and blizzards and might actually be pleasant, and while your old job was “good enough” in that it had heating and you were sitting too close to Carroll from H.R., but she runs hot so it’s okay, when these precious few weeks of perfection come along, you’ll want the perfect career to go with them. While “perfect” may mean many things to many different people, we here at Brokelyn have put together a list with a little something for everyone, from the gym-bro to the number-cruncher, so read below and find out what your new best job ever is going to be. (more…)

02/25/15 2:30pm
brooklyn bridge park

Your new office. Well, if we’re being realistic, you won’t actually be working in the park itself. Photo by Etienne Frossard via Facebook

Hello Brooklyn, and welcome to your new future! It has been a raging freeze-hell outside, and possibly you’ve been walking to work, thinking “Is this barista job really worth six more blocks of this agony?” The answer, of course, is no, and that mathematics degree you’ve got stuffed behind your headboard should really be doing more then acting as a home for 17 spiders. So, to get you to a future where you’ll be gladly skipping to work while various digits are freezing off, here are some new, great jobs that have just fallen onto the market, collected courtesy of your good friends at Brokelyn (more specifically one friend, who cares about your future career very much). (more…)

02/20/15 4:38pm
Like water-skiing, but on land! via Flickr

Like water-skiing, but on land! via Flickr

We’re in the midst of awful, awful cold, but there’s good news on the horizon. No, not that’s warming up, but at least it’ll be warmer this weekend, at a balmy 31 degrees. That means it should be warm enough for snow, but not so cold you just want to curl up inside and die. So get out there and take advantage of the fresh powder at these nearby skiing spots. (more…)

02/19/15 8:51am
pok pok ny

Eat this, and still have plans for the rest of the day. via Facebook.

This is a game-changer, people: we love Thai food and we love efficiency, and now those two glorious things are finally one, with Grub Street noticing that Pok Pok Ny now takes reservations for parties up to 12 people. The wait for Pok Pok is legendary, with many documented cases existing on the internet of people going insane while waiting for some authentic kaeng hung leh. (more…)

02/18/15 4:19pm
The one on the right, or just throw it on the floor, i guess. Via Dept. of Sanitation Facebook

The one on the right, or just throw it on the floor, i guess. Via Dept. of Sanitation Facebook

Williamsburg: stop being gross. Yes, there are many things we could be referring to when we say that, but in this instance, we’re talking about those gnarly compost piles that everyone keeps on their roof, in their yards, and in their bedrooms (actually, now that we think about it, that one person might have just been a slob). The city government seems to agree with me, as they’re bringing the city’ curbside composting collection program to Williamsburg this spring, according to DNAinfo. (more…)