Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

01/29/15 11:06am
If this doesn't look like everything you'd want on a snowy day, you're a damn liar. Photos by Kenji Magrann-Wells

If this doesn’t look like everything you’d want on a snowy day, you’re a damn liar. Photos by Kenji Magrann-Wells

Alright, we’ve officially arrived in the post-apocalyptic nightmare winter which will undoubtedly last forever. That means that you’ll be looking to stay inside, find something that makes your home smell delicious and keeps you full, and most importantly, is cheap enough to leave you with enough money to afford your heating. That, my friends, is where braising comes in. Braising is the process of cooking something bad for a long time at a low temperature covered in liquid, and then ending up with something insanely delicious.

Braising is a fantastic technique because of two things: its versatility and its cheapness. It’s designed specifically to make the worst, cheapest things in the grocery store taste great, and it can be done with pretty much anything. In meats, the process breaks down the tough, chewy parts of cheap cuts of meat and turns them into tender, juicy awesomeness. In vegetables, it takes all of those hard winter root vegetables and makes them delicate, pillowy, and perfect to impress people with. In fact, braising anything is pretty much an ideal way to create a dish that looks and tastes amazing, but can be assembled with such ease that a small, drunk toddler could do it (and not just those toddlers on MasterChef Junior). (more…)

01/28/15 4:04pm
gowanus art

Something like this, but maybe not this exactly. via Flickr user Jason Eppnik

Arts Gowanus is putting out the call for artists to send in plans for new public works to be displayed all throughout the neighborhood, which is good news for the, what 3 artists in Brooklyn that aren’t already millionaires lounging on private yachts? If you’ve got a concept for a love letter to that most canal-est of neighborhoods, send it on over to Arts Gowanus and have the chance to see it come to life in your very own backyard. They’re looking for pieces that capture the history, diversity, and community of Gowanus, and bonus points if you can visually express exactly what that smell coming off the canal resembles. (more…)

01/28/15 1:40pm
Photo courtesy of Brooklyn Brewery

Help keep all these in order

Now, with the latest Blizzard That Never Was, some of you may have gotten time off from your awful, terrible jobs. Of course, you might have thought you had time off from your horrible job, only to realize you didn’t when the skies opened up and it turned out “blizzard” means 4 inches of snow. Possibly, you didn’t have any job to get/not get to, in which case you just binge-watched a frankly, insane amount of X-Files and tried to make your pets speak. In any of these cases, however, it seems like there is a common thread: you may need a few job. This just happens to be your lucky day, however, since we here at Brokelyn have collected up the best offerings of the week and delivered them right to your grey-slush-covered doorstep. (more…)

01/28/15 1:06pm
The mayor sending sanitation workers out to certain doom. via Facebook

The mayor sending sanitation workers out to certain doom. via Facebook

So, now that the sun in shining and the roads are all paved, we can all take a second to sit down and admit maybe we, as a seaboard, might have over-reacted to this whole “blizzard” thing. The frenzied grocery shopping, consumption of insane amounts of alcohol, and the manic pairing-off were all for naught, as we ended up getting a mere 6 inches of snow, and a crazy hangover.

While a few good things came from the blizzard in New York, like amazing pictures and some awesome sledding action, the best thing to happen from this snowstorm is undoubtedly this recording of Bill de Blasio reading this Onion article about his prophecies of death and destruction approaching with the “furious hoarfrost”. The article perfectly sums up the road-shutting fear being displayed by everybody right up until the light frost dusted our city, and hearing de Blasio warn that our babes “Will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever,” is well, icing on the cake.

01/14/15 1:03pm
nickelodeon job

Meet your future co-workers

Welcome to the New Year, people! Congratulations, you’ve done it! You’ve lived through another year, working at that job that you absolutely love! What, you don’t love your job? You wouldn’t happen to work in a soul-killing abyss of suckitude, do you? Well, that shit might fly in 2014, but 2015 is the year that you start to kick ass and take names! And give names. On paper. Resumes, I mean. You should get a new awesome job and we’re here to help so look at these! (more…)

12/31/14 11:29am
joto sake

Be a part of this awesome office mural by selling sake at Joto. via Facebook

The New Year is rapidly approaching, people, and how do you want to spend yours? If your answer was “uncomfortably shifting around in an interview that could change my whole life,” then have I got good news for you! Now is the time to get out there and find the job you were meant to, while HR managers are still drunk from their holiday parties and everyone important is vacationing on an expensive island, and I’m here to point you in the right direction with this list of the best jobs up for grabs in New York, some of the last of 2014. (more…)

12/19/14 2:01pm
mike's hot honey

If you’re wondering what to get a foodie for Christmas, one of our experts says pick up Mike’s Hot Honey. via Facebook

Foodies are notoriously difficult to shop for if you’re not a foodie too. Are they into baking? Butchering? Do they even have room in their kitchen for a potato ricer? Facts like these are crucial so that you don’t end up buying the chef in your life their third microplane. To help you out, we’ve asked three rising stars on the Brooklyn gastronomical scene for their recommendations to help you improve the kitchen of your favorite chef. (more…)

12/11/14 2:40pm
the dodo

Caption this better than we can and you just might have yourself a new job. via Facebook

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas Brokelyn! And, I guess, shalom? Anyways, I come bearing gifts of gainful employment! So, because it is the time of year for going broke buying your “loved ones” “material goods”, going to awful office parties instead of this one, and ringing in the New Year with that same ol’ dusty job you’ve been kicking around all 2014, I think you might need a new job. Ideally, one that has a Christmas vacation, because, hey, you’re smart enough to game the system like that. Without further ado, have some jobs and happy whatever! (more…)

11/24/14 7:01am
northeast kingdom

When you want a dinner to impress, you can’t go wrong with a good steak, like the TK at the Northeast Kingdom (vegetarians and vegans not included). via Northeast Kingdom

We’ve all been there: third date coming up, and you need that one final push to seal the deal. It’s time to bust out the steak. Now, we here at Brokelyn have felt your plight, especially when the check comes and you realize you’re in for a romantic walk home because you won’t be able to afford that cab home. You could make a steak at home, as this fine butcher will tell you, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone do the cooking for you. Yes, there are probably cheaper steaks in Kings County, but let’s save your poor date from grabbing steaks at that biker bar that grills on a sideways shopping cart. Negotiating the factors of romance and budget, here are our seven picks for where to go for the big third-date swing. (more…)

11/20/14 9:59am
thanksgiving cooking

It doesn’t have to be this way! Photo by Flickr user Alessandro Valli

Congratulations! If you are reading this article, brave and noble Brooklynite, it means that you have decided to take on the Goliath task of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner whether in your New York City apartment kitchen or in the house of the family member hosting it. At the very least, you’re helping cook.

Great fortune awaits you if you are able to pull of this incredible feat, but griping from long-forgotten family members is waiting just around the corner for those unable to complete the task. We here at Brokelyn believe in you, though, and as the resident chef of our financially-challenged website, I felt it was my duty to share with you some easy Thanksgiving cooking wisdom I’ve gained while surviving the chaos that is making your own dinner on November 27. (more…)