Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

07/16/14 4:05pm
iraq and afghanistan veterans of america

You can help the Iraq and Aghanistan Veterans of America help veterans AND get paid (don’t worry though, you won’t have to go to DC). via Facebook

Hello, all, and happy meeting you again! It is I, the Grand Job Czar of Brokelyn, here to point you to the most exquisite jobs available in New York City. You may be asking, “Why should I trust these magnificent-sounding jobs being thrust at me by this large man in a tinfoil hat?” Well, first off, it’s a crown, and secondly, because ever since I was a small child, all I ever wanted to do with my time was to help people find the most bitchenest places to work possible, and that’s exactly what I do now! So, if I could do it for me, then I can certainly do it for you too, and checking out these awesome job listings below is a great first step. (more…)

07/16/14 11:25am
new york red bulls

The kicking is done in Brazil, but you can still catch some live, like the Red Bulls, in New York, or nearby. via Facebook

Well, it’s over with. Germany has thoroughly beaten Argentina, taken home the World Cup, and has painted literally everything they could get their hands on in Brazil black, orange, and red. One may find, however, that they are left with an odd feeling now that the games are over. No, not the violent hangover from the beer-fueled victory tour over at Radegast, something different and new: the urge to watch soccer. Not only that, but they may find themselves envious of all the people in Brazil who got to scream and cry and gloat while watching the game in person, and if you’re one of those people, then you’re in luck, because there are a few places to catch a decent round of futbol around here, and the options are multiplying all the time. (more…)

07/02/14 2:38pm
vine offices

Can you see yourself here for longer than 8 seconds? via Facebook

You there, yes, you, the one on the computer: it seems like you’re in need of a new job. Yes, you’re about to become junior manager of your shoeshine stand, and your side-job as a bike-based bread delivery boy only threatens you with vehicular manslaughter occasionally, but I see great potential in you. Why, you could have this whole city in the palm of your hand if you so chose! You could be a titan of industry, a God of capitalism and magnanimity, the very engine that turns the world itself! But, perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. To begin with, how about we get you a nice job with some paid vacation time, hmm? (more…)

06/18/14 2:09pm
museum of sex

You’re home. Well you’re at work, but you’ll feel at home. via Facebook

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon.” You’ve got hope, right? The hope that maybe one day your office will have a ping-pong table, that you’ll get to ride a zipline and get paid for it, that one day you’ll have actual paid vacation days saved up. I believe that kind of world is out there, dear reader, and I’ve spent the better part of a week on Craigslist to direct you to the promised land, at least when it comes to work. Check out these sweet new job listings and do FDR proud, since  I’m pretty sure this is exactly what he was referring to when he said all that stuff. (more…)

06/04/14 3:28pm
us weekly jobs

Which Angelina Jolie wore Angelina Jolie better? Tell Us Weekly in a pithy-enough fashion and you could be working there. via Facebook

Well, Brooklynites, it’s almost summer. That means, of course, that it’s just about time now to start complaining about everything. From the heat to the trains to how crowded that one bar is (and yet you still keep going), this is a beautiful time in New York where denizens of the city get to engage in their most favorite activity: pointing out things that are awful. However, to make sure that your job doesn’t fall into this category, here are some amazing positions looking for beautiful people just like you. (more…)

05/21/14 3:21pm
park slope day camp

You call this work? You can, at the Park Slope Day Camp! via Facebook

Are you happy at your job? Well, if your answer is “no”, and you’re too broke to afford antidepressants, maybe a new job is in order. We here at Brokelyn feel for you, and have even gone through the trouble to comb the internet to find some of the best jobs on the market just for you, so start planning your amazing “Screw You!” quitting speech and get to someplace that appreciates your talents and spot-on Liam Neeson impression. (more…)

05/09/14 10:05am
governors ball

They make a lot of garbage for you to pick up at Governors Ball, but you also go for free. So, fair deal. via Facebook

You know what the worst part of a music festival is? The music festival prices.  Just because you happen to be a fiscally-challenged urban sophisticate doesn’t mean you should be missing out on all of the festivities, and while scaling the walls and fending off security might sound fun, we’ve got an alternative way to get free tickets that involves light volunteering and minimal tazer burns. By volunteering and working for a few hours, turns out you can get access to New York’s two hot-ticket festivals coming up this summer, Northside Festival and Governors Ball, and we’ve got the rundown on exactly how it’s done. (more…)

05/07/14 11:14am
brooklyn nets

Can you sell people on ponying up to see Deron Williams’ busted ankles? The Nets have a job for you. via Facebook

Hey, you know what? You’re a pretty awesome person. Capable, focused, nice haircut, beloved by pets and senior citizens alike, you’ve got it all. So, the question is, why are you still working at that job that you hate so much? Well, the answer is because you haven’t read this awesome list of kick-ass, up-for-grabs jobs that we’ve scoured the Internet to compile. Let’s remedy that, shall we? (more…)

04/23/14 1:30pm
google ny office

Want to work in Google’s weird neon office? Well maybe you can via Google

Welcome, Brokelyners, to another adventure in the magical world of employment! Here are some of our favorite picks from the wild world of hiring in New York, since although that kombucha starter rental business is obviously going to take off any day now, it’s usually nice to have some spending cash to throw around at things like “rent” and “food.” (more…)

04/09/14 8:46am
CBGB needs a recipe consultant to tell them, "More weed in this cookie. Or less maybe? I'm high as hell man."

CBGB needs a recipe consultant to tell them, “More weed in this cookie. Or less maybe? I’m high as hell man.”

Spring is here! I can tell that because it’s been raining instead of snowing. Spring means new and better things are coming, both in terms of foliage, and now, occupation, since we’ve found a bunch of new jobs that will help you cruise all the way to summer in style: (more…)