Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

08/27/14 2:09pm
franny's

Can you help manage the people who manage this oven? Then apply today! via Facebook

Alright, you’re doing pretty well. You live in New York City, presumably in a very urban-chic (small) apartment, you’ve found your soulmate or are at least stalking him on Twitter, so there’s one thing is missing: The kickass New York job where you work hard and play harder. To help you complete this final requirement in what 99% of people agree is “winning,” here are a bevy of jobs for you to choose from. Also, I think you might need a pet as well, to really push you over the top. (more…)

08/13/14 1:13pm
espn job

Meet your new coworkers! Maybe.

You know what? You’ve been working at that old, dead-end job for too long! What’s that? You just started it? Well even so, it’s been long enough! You deserve a job that makes you skip to work in the morning, that makes you whistle on the train (until somebody hits you for not shutting up), that makes you feel good! And while there are several recreational drugs that can also do that, this way you also get paid for your time and don’t have to talk to anyone named “Spider.” So get out there and get hired! (more…)

07/30/14 2:51pm
sports illustrated jobs

Replace “on the cover” with “in the office” and there you go. via Facebook

If you are currently on this website, then we can deduce three things about you: First of all, you have excellent taste and probably very stunning facial features, second, that you live in Brooklyn or nearby, and third, that you are not overly rich. To help out with the money problem, since you’ve already got the location and arrestingly good looks covered, have you considered getting a sweet, kick-ass job that would turn your life into the physical form of an epic guitar solo? No? Well check out these awesome jobs and see if you start to hear any music. (more…)

07/28/14 1:12pm
peter pan colin spoelman

Colin, playing John Darling in a local production of Peter Pan, in the days before Kings County Distillery took flight. Photo via Colin Spoelman

Because we here at Brokelyn are responsible drinkers, when we hit the bottle, we don’t just look to get trashed, we look for inspiration. In the world of whiskey there are few stories more inspiring than that of Kings County Distillery, which started as New York City’s first distillery since Prohibition-era rules on distilleries were lifted, back in 2010 in a 325 square-foot room in East Williamsburg and went on to critical acclaim, praise from the public, and a brand new distillery in the Brooklyn Navy Yards.

We sat down with co-founder Colin Spoelman, former scent model and executive producer, to see the long and winding route he took from rural Harland County, Kentucky, to bustling New York City, and the hobby he took with him. (more…)

07/16/14 4:05pm
iraq and afghanistan veterans of america

You can help the Iraq and Aghanistan Veterans of America help veterans AND get paid (don’t worry though, you won’t have to go to DC). via Facebook

Hello, all, and happy meeting you again! It is I, the Grand Job Czar of Brokelyn, here to point you to the most exquisite jobs available in New York City. You may be asking, “Why should I trust these magnificent-sounding jobs being thrust at me by this large man in a tinfoil hat?” Well, first off, it’s a crown, and secondly, because ever since I was a small child, all I ever wanted to do with my time was to help people find the most bitchenest places to work possible, and that’s exactly what I do now! So, if I could do it for me, then I can certainly do it for you too, and checking out these awesome job listings below is a great first step. (more…)

07/16/14 11:25am
new york red bulls

The kicking is done in Brazil, but you can still catch some live, like the Red Bulls, in New York, or nearby. via Facebook

Well, it’s over with. Germany has thoroughly beaten Argentina, taken home the World Cup, and has painted literally everything they could get their hands on in Brazil black, orange, and red. One may find, however, that they are left with an odd feeling now that the games are over. No, not the violent hangover from the beer-fueled victory tour over at Radegast, something different and new: the urge to watch soccer. Not only that, but they may find themselves envious of all the people in Brazil who got to scream and cry and gloat while watching the game in person, and if you’re one of those people, then you’re in luck, because there are a few places to catch a decent round of futbol around here, and the options are multiplying all the time. (more…)

07/02/14 2:38pm
vine offices

Can you see yourself here for longer than 8 seconds? via Facebook

You there, yes, you, the one on the computer: it seems like you’re in need of a new job. Yes, you’re about to become junior manager of your shoeshine stand, and your side-job as a bike-based bread delivery boy only threatens you with vehicular manslaughter occasionally, but I see great potential in you. Why, you could have this whole city in the palm of your hand if you so chose! You could be a titan of industry, a God of capitalism and magnanimity, the very engine that turns the world itself! But, perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. To begin with, how about we get you a nice job with some paid vacation time, hmm? (more…)

06/18/14 2:09pm
museum of sex

You’re home. Well you’re at work, but you’ll feel at home. via Facebook

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon.” You’ve got hope, right? The hope that maybe one day your office will have a ping-pong table, that you’ll get to ride a zipline and get paid for it, that one day you’ll have actual paid vacation days saved up. I believe that kind of world is out there, dear reader, and I’ve spent the better part of a week on Craigslist to direct you to the promised land, at least when it comes to work. Check out these sweet new job listings and do FDR proud, since  I’m pretty sure this is exactly what he was referring to when he said all that stuff. (more…)

06/04/14 3:28pm
us weekly jobs

Which Angelina Jolie wore Angelina Jolie better? Tell Us Weekly in a pithy-enough fashion and you could be working there. via Facebook

Well, Brooklynites, it’s almost summer. That means, of course, that it’s just about time now to start complaining about everything. From the heat to the trains to how crowded that one bar is (and yet you still keep going), this is a beautiful time in New York where denizens of the city get to engage in their most favorite activity: pointing out things that are awful. However, to make sure that your job doesn’t fall into this category, here are some amazing positions looking for beautiful people just like you. (more…)

05/21/14 3:21pm
park slope day camp

You call this work? You can, at the Park Slope Day Camp! via Facebook

Are you happy at your job? Well, if your answer is “no”, and you’re too broke to afford antidepressants, maybe a new job is in order. We here at Brokelyn feel for you, and have even gone through the trouble to comb the internet to find some of the best jobs on the market just for you, so start planning your amazing “Screw You!” quitting speech and get to someplace that appreciates your talents and spot-on Liam Neeson impression. (more…)