Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

12/19/14 2:01pm
mike's hot honey

If you’re wondering what to get a foodie for Christmas, one of our experts says pick up Mike’s Hot Honey. via Facebook

Foodies are notoriously difficult to shop for if you’re not a foodie too. Are they into baking? Butchering? Do they even have room in their kitchen for a potato ricer? Facts like these are crucial so that you don’t end up buying the chef in your life their third microplane. To help you out, we’ve asked three rising stars on the Brooklyn gastronomical scene for their recommendations to help you improve the kitchen of your favorite chef. (more…)

12/11/14 2:40pm
the dodo

Caption this better than we can and you just might have yourself a new job. via Facebook

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas Brokelyn! And, I guess, shalom? Anyways, I come bearing gifts of gainful employment! So, because it is the time of year for going broke buying your “loved ones” “material goods”, going to awful office parties instead of this one, and ringing in the New Year with that same ol’ dusty job you’ve been kicking around all 2014, I think you might need a new job. Ideally, one that has a Christmas vacation, because, hey, you’re smart enough to game the system like that. Without further ado, have some jobs and happy whatever! (more…)

11/24/14 7:01am
northeast kingdom

When you want a dinner to impress, you can’t go wrong with a good steak, like the TK at the Northeast Kingdom (vegetarians and vegans not included). via Northeast Kingdom

We’ve all been there: third date coming up, and you need that one final push to seal the deal. It’s time to bust out the steak. Now, we here at Brokelyn have felt your plight, especially when the check comes and you realize you’re in for a romantic walk home because you won’t be able to afford that cab home. You could make a steak at home, as this fine butcher will tell you, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone do the cooking for you. Yes, there are probably cheaper steaks in Kings County, but let’s save your poor date from grabbing steaks at that biker bar that grills on a sideways shopping cart. Negotiating the factors of romance and budget, here are our seven picks for where to go for the big third-date swing. (more…)

11/20/14 9:59am
thanksgiving cooking

It doesn’t have to be this way! Photo by Flickr user Alessandro Valli

Congratulations! If you are reading this article, brave and noble Brooklynite, it means that you have decided to take on the Goliath task of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner whether in your New York City apartment kitchen or in the house of the family member hosting it. At the very least, you’re helping cook.

Great fortune awaits you if you are able to pull of this incredible feat, but griping from long-forgotten family members is waiting just around the corner for those unable to complete the task. We here at Brokelyn believe in you, though, and as the resident chef of our financially-challenged website, I felt it was my duty to share with you some easy Thanksgiving cooking wisdom I’ve gained while surviving the chaos that is making your own dinner on November 27. (more…)

11/19/14 7:02am
brooklyn historical society

Can you keep help the Brooklyn Historical Society’s library in order? Then we’ve got a job for you! via Facebook

So holiday season is yet again upon us, and we know what that means: the purchasing of turkeys, the entertaining of relatives you were pretty sure were dead, and so, so many holiday presents. Yes, true Brokelyners are already weeping for the potential income about to be flushed on the “feelings” of “others,” and to make up for these economic and seasonal drains, I’d recommend snapping up one of the many awesome jobs floating around Kings County! I’ve taken the liberty of rounding up some of the best of the week in one, easy, convenient location, much like how all of your Christmas gifts end up conveniently at that one store a block from your house on Christmas Eve. (more…)

11/05/14 2:11pm
new york magazine

Can you tweet funny stuff about these covers? You’re hired! via Facebook

As the holiday season descends upon us, you know that the people here at Brokelyn only have one wish: for you to have a kick-ass job that makes all of your friends and relatives insanely jealous. Oh, we’re also wishing for jet-skis, and for Glasslands not to close. But mainly, we’re really wishing for the job-so-great-everyone’s-jealous thing. So, to help you in that quest to find the perfect occupation, we’ve rounded up the best of the job offers this week into one handy list! (more…)

10/23/14 1:46pm
brooklyn museum

Work at a place where everyone will think you must be smart. via Facebook

Hey everybody! We here in Brokelyn have been feeling pretty mature as of late, and feel that it’s time to look into getting an actual, what do you call those? Oh right, a career. Turns out that Brooklyn is tossing jobs all over the place these days, and we’ve gathered up a few of the best just for you. Remember, if you do end up getting one of these jobs, you’ve gotta pay Brokelyn $15 a month for the rest of your life. Okay fine, $5. A swipe with your Metrocard? Fine, whatever. (more…)

10/15/14 10:49am
Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan

It’s even signed! We mean, they’re all signed, but uh, hey, that’s gotta be worth something. Photo by Kenji Magrann-Wells

At the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance that is rapidly approaching, there will be fun and games, large organized communities playing music, a talk show host, cheap beer and Brokelyn writers of notoriously little moral fiber. But that doesn’t matter. No, you didn’t come here to make friends (although you could and it would be a very great idea); you came to win a raffle. Yes, there are all sorts of amazing prizes available to win at the raffle this year, where two small dollars could get get you a very large bike, some tickets to some amazing shows, the definition of art and many other prizes. I, personally, would be playing for the $500 Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan though, courtesy of Brooklyn Kitchen. (more…)

10/09/14 10:02am
brooklyn brewery

Yeahhhhh buddy. via Facebook

Exciting news! Local brew heroes/Swedish superstars Brooklyn Brewery has decided to get in on the fun by sponsoring our Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance on October 16, to the tune of $1 beers from 7:30pm until we run out! That means not only can you enjoy Scott Rogowsky (of Running Late with Scott Rogowsky), The Hungry March Band, games, prizes, tunes courtesy of DJ Brian Blackout and good times galore, but you can now do it with a $1 beer in your hand! (more…)

09/24/14 1:25pm
brooklyn botanic garden

This could be where you work. via Facebook

Alright, this is starting to get ridiculous. How are all of these amazing jobs still hiring with so many talented, driven New Yorkers like yourself lying around? You’d think all the good jobs would be taken forever by now, but week after week I keep finding better and better employment opportunities. Do me a solid and take a few of these awesome jobs so maybe next time I can write a shorter article. Thanks! (more…)