Articles by

Kenji Magrann-Wells

02/25/15 2:30pm
brooklyn bridge park

Your new office. Well, if we’re being realistic, you won’t actually be working in the park itself. Photo by Etienne Frossard via Facebook

Hello Brooklyn, and welcome to your new future! It has been a raging freeze-hell outside, and possibly you’ve been walking to work, thinking “Is this barista job really worth six more blocks of this agony?” The answer, of course, is no, and that mathematics degree you’ve got stuffed behind your headboard should really be doing more then acting as a home for 17 spiders. So, to get you to a future where you’ll be gladly skipping to work while various digits are freezing off, here are some new, great jobs that have just fallen onto the market, collected courtesy of your good friends at Brokelyn (more specifically one friend, who cares about your future career very much). (more…)

02/20/15 4:38pm
Like water-skiing, but on land! via Flickr

Like water-skiing, but on land! via Flickr

We’re in the midst of awful, awful cold, but there’s good news on the horizon. No, not that’s warming up, but at least it’ll be warmer this weekend, at a balmy 31 degrees. That means it should be warm enough for snow, but not so cold you just want to curl up inside and die. So get out there and take advantage of the fresh powder at these nearby skiing spots. (more…)

02/19/15 8:51am
pok pok ny

Eat this, and still have plans for the rest of the day. via Facebook.

This is a game-changer, people: we love Thai food and we love efficiency, and now those two glorious things are finally one, with Grub Street noticing that Pok Pok Ny now takes reservations for parties up to 12 people. The wait for Pok Pok is legendary, with many documented cases existing on the internet of people going insane while waiting for some authentic kaeng hung leh. (more…)

02/18/15 4:19pm
The one on the right, or just throw it on the floor, i guess. Via Dept. of Sanitation Facebook

The one on the right, or just throw it on the floor, i guess. Via Dept. of Sanitation Facebook

Williamsburg: stop being gross. Yes, there are many things we could be referring to when we say that, but in this instance, we’re talking about those gnarly compost piles that everyone keeps on their roof, in their yards, and in their bedrooms (actually, now that we think about it, that one person might have just been a slob). The city government seems to agree with me, as they’re bringing the city’ curbside composting collection program to Williamsburg this spring, according to DNAinfo. (more…)

02/18/15 8:18am
They might not like these ones, but what do they know?

They might not like these ones, but what do they know?

In case you haven’t noticed, Brooklyn has a bit of a love affair with all things old timey, vintage and otherwise out of its time. This of course extends to drinks, so we’re surprised it’s taken a bar this long to decide to do a tribute to The Old Fashioned itself. The long wait is over though, because tonight, The Saint Catherine is kicking off their new cocktail series, “Wednesdays” with a salute to the drink by making some twists on the usually simple mixture of four ingredients (whiskey, sugar, bitters, and an orange peel) each named after a different Golden-Age Starlet. (more…)

02/13/15 4:06pm
It's either this, or going outside. Via

It’s either this, or going outside. Via

Very soon, that most beloved/behated holiday of the year is going to fall upon us: Valentine’s Day. Of course, this means that people are in the position to spend lots of money for the sole purpose of impressing their significant other, but for Brokelyners, it means something very different: time to start making stuff. Yep, everyone knows that hand-made gifts are better because: 1. It translates your true love and compassion and 2. You’re so poor you use delivery napkins as toilet paper. Also, good God, it’s murder-stoppingly cold outside.

Making dinner for your boyfriend/girlfriend is an instant panty/boxer dropper, saves you a ton of money, and couldn’t be easier to do. To illustrate that point, here are two super-simple recipes for a romantic night snuggled up inside with the thermostat set to 90°. (more…)

02/13/15 1:22pm
Good thing this guy isn't around, huh?

Good thing this guy isn’t around, huh?

For the last 11 days, New York has been breaking a modern record by not once brutally murdering another human being! Good work, everybody! As the Daily News reports, we are now living in one of the longest streaks of murderlessness in recent history, which means that we are only months away from the perfect future-world described in the future-documentary, Demolition Man (but for real, three shells?). (more…)

02/11/15 2:47pm
Mmmm...Cheap things. Via Le Barricou

Mmmm…Cheap things. Via Le Barricou

For all those Brooklynites that are constantly stalking up and down Grand Street scouring beer bars and thrift shops (a.k.a. the majority of the staff at Brokelyn), I’ve got excellent news for you: Grand Street Restaurant Week is back in action! No longer will you have to browse through Antoinette or sip at Breukelyn Bier Merchants with a grumbling stomach, because from February 16 to February 22, restaurants all up and down Grand Street will be offering 2-course lunches from $8-$10 and 3-course dinners ranging from $18-$30. (more…)

02/11/15 1:33pm
meat hook sandwich

They need a wizard… via Facebook

Look, the general condition of mankind is pretty simple to sum up in general: we generally want more. If we’ve got 3 giant hoagies, why not make a fourth? A fantastic iPhone? Why not an iPad to match? We are always looking for the next big, great thing to come along, and the fact that you’ve had your job for as long as you’ve had it without never once wondering what else could be out there is worrying. Seriously dude, it’s creeping me out. Are you even human, or just some kind of elaborately-constructed Terminator? Well, not like this is a huge test if you’re a robot or not or anything, but I’m just going to leave this list of awesome new jobs opening up in New York here, and whether or not you want to scan through it is up to you and your big, potentially cyborg brain. (more…)

02/06/15 3:53pm
Because making movies is cheap and easy anyways, right? Via Disposable Film

Because making movies is cheap and easy anyways, right? Via Disposable Film

Movies are great, but you know what sucks about them? That they pay people to make them! I know, insane. If you want to help keep the money out of movies, then come over to Videology tonight at 8:30 for the Disposable Film Festival, a film fest made entirely from amateur filmmakers in it for nothing but the bragging rights. (more…)