There’s a mailman with a package at your door. You don’t remember ordering anything, but the faceless, mute mailman is angrily gesturing, insisting that you did order it and that you have to sign for the package, which is emitting a low-frequency humming noise. In the next moment, your door is closed and you’re sitting in your living room staring at the package, despite having no memory of signing for it. “What could it be?” you say out loud, to no one. “And why is it hovering inches off the ground?”
Still, you decide to open it. After all, the package is in your house, and it’s not going anywhere. You open it cautiously, although it’s more difficult than it should be, what with the floating. But what’s inside is the gift you’ve always wanted, even if you didn’t realize it: it’s a Welcome to Night Vale t-shirt. Or is it an eternal scouts patch? Or a Night Vale NRA bumper sticker? The item keeps changing, but you stay calm. Someone has bought you a physical reminder of the most popular podcast in America, made right here in Brooklyn. $5 to $21 from the Welcome to Night Vale online store
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