So say our friends at Greenpointers. But the spoils of war may or may not include a plastic lawn flamingo. Here’s more if you want it.

One Christmas break, I tried to educate my southern brother-in-law on the trendy food fad of chocolate-covered bacon. Unfortunately, my attempt to recreate the amazing combination of salty meat and sweet chocolate was foiled by using hickory smoked bacon. But I am giving it another go this year: he is getting Vosges Mo’s Bacon Choco Chip Pancake Mix in his stocking. There is no better setting for mixing flavors than in an all-natural buttermilk pancake (the secret is Vosges Chocolates’ famous Mo
Bacon Bar chips). Breakfast experiences combining maple syrup and sausage have taught us that.

16oz pancake mix, $16.50 at Fred Flare

Say hi to your mother.

Finally, a calendar you can bring home to ma! The Nice Jewish Guys 2012 Calendar is for the yenta who dreams of a man who knows from good tzimmes, consults Consumer Reports for major home electronics purchases and doesn’t call matzos “crackers.” You get to look at and read about a different nice Jewish guy every month and picture your Christmas Day date at the local Chinese eatery. For the shikshas out there, you’ll never embarrass yourself again by inviting your Jewish crush to a rager on Yom Kippur or forgetting Sukkot! Bonus: some delightfully stereotypical Jewish girls to start off 2013.
$16, Fred Flare.

You know how your sister-in-law loves posting countless albums of her “exotic” cruise trips to Facebook? And how your roommate likes to put pins in a map to show how well-traveled and “worldly” he is? This awesome gift will keep them both busy logging destinations in a new way. A map of the world feels more like a lottery ticket when the shiny metallic suface scratches off. It’s a fun — and humblebrag — way to keep track of travel adventures. Meanwhile you can internally gloat over all the culture accessible in your borough. Measures about 16.5″x12″ when unrolled and about 5″x2″ in its travel tube.

$25 at Fred Flare.

No one can find any plucking jobs these days [The Awl]
235,000 apartments you might sorta be able to afford [Curbed]
Ladies who will rip your arm off [FreeWilliamsburg]
Clean up after your horse [Gothamist]
Starbucks wuz robbed [Flavorpill]
Brooklynites yell at president [USA Today]
The idiot’s guide to Obamaployment [NY Mag]
Fred Flare is gone, but the warehouse sale lives on [Greenpointers]

We know: it’s positively Arctic out there. Which is all the more reason to think spring by gifting this reusable iced coffee cup ($10), available in-store and online at Fred Flare (131 Meserole Ave., Greenpoint). A warm-weather variation on this eco-favorite, consider the cup the perfect present for those relatives who reside in a warm climate. Or maybe a clutch cure for the overcompensating balmy office temperature your friend keeps complaining about. And feel free to explore the dual-purpose element—whip up some homemade paper umbrellas to have a combo cocktail shaker/tumbler at your service. Either way, a killer pick for the eco/caffeine/booze-friendly set.

Fred Flare photo by Stefan Tonio

For the Brooklyn teen in search of ways to stretch that ever-waning allowance dollar, five ways to work it out:

GREENPOINT
What happens when you gather all the cutest merchandise one could possibly find and put it in one store for sale? You get Fred Flare (left) The brand with the ultimate cute factor has been an online shop for over 10 years, with affordable and stylish findings: clothing, accessories, home goods, etc.  But they just recently opened a physical location in Greenpoint. With nice employees and a cheerful design, this little store could be the happiest place in Brooklyn. Fred Flare, 131 Meserole Ave, 718-349-1257, www.fredflare.com. (more…)