Articles by

Mallory Schlossberg

03/01/13 4:05pm
Aaaaand, they're back! via Facebook

Aaaaand, they’re back! via Facebook

What was life like after Sandy knocked Fairway out of commission? “I felt like a wandering Jew,” said Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz, speaking to the throng gathered in front of the Red Hook grocery store. “For four months…wandering from store to store to store.” Fortunately for the borough president and for Brooklyn, the days of fruitless wandering are over. Fairway is back in Red Hook! (more…)

02/12/13 3:00pm
Donuts from Dough

Who needs love when you have donuts from Dough?

Valentine’s Day can be very stressful for single people, what with everyone out on awesome dates. But if you’re the type to eat your way through a bad day, then this is an excellent time to indulge in your worst habits! It can be a lot of fun, very delicious, and no one will judge you. In fact, when you eat these Brooklyn-made treats, the feelings you will be eating will be happiness and joy, as opposed to loneliness and resentment. So grab your stretch pants, or just buy a pair of jeans a size larger so you don’t feel bad come February 15. Feelings have never tasted so good! (more…)

01/16/13 9:19am
Celebrate love, at Pearl's. via Cafe Ghia

Celebrate love, at Pearl’s. via Cafe Ghia

First dates are filled with all sorts of fears and anxieties – especially when you’re meeting that person for the first time (ah, online dating). Those dates aren’t so much dates as they are interviews, so you want to keep it low pressure and comfortable. A low-key bar – a dive especially – makes a great first date: casual, no pressure to be super romantic, but dark and homey. Also, there’s booze.

When it comes to these first dates, there are two extremes: you can discover a major deal breaker and need to make a quick exit, or you can get so wasted that you ignore that deal breaker and you go home together. Most dates fall somewhere in between. Here are some potential places for that first meet up. (more…)

12/27/12 1:30pm
Gotta be in shape to hide all those eggs. via Facebook

Gotta be in shape to hide all those eggs. via Facebook

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for gym owners. Everyone swears that 2013 will be THE year that they will get into kickass shape. Will they? Or  will they just be in a rush to get rid of what all of the holiday booze and delicious simple carbs did to their waistlines and give up after a month? Either way, gyms love to capitalize on this get-fit phase that always happens at the start of a new year, which can be very good news for us brokesters who normally can’t afford to invest that much in elliptical machines. Here are some more affordable – or at least, more affordable than usual – options for the new year. (more…)

12/13/12 4:00pm


Are you getting married? I’m not, but if I was, I know I’d sure be interested in saving money on my impending nuptials, those things are pricey. Well, this generous soul in Park Slope is offering up her wedding vail [sic] from 1989. It’s in perfect condition, but needs a cleaning. As you can see from the pictures, it’s got a wreath-slash-Medieval-princess look going on, so this is especially perfect for any themed weddings you may be planning on having. (more…)