1. Handsome young rock and roll man Luke Rathborne will be at Rough Trade Records to perform and make you feel old (Friday)
2. Or see hardcore music performed with violins instead of guitars, which apparently promotes “an egalitarian message of global change” instead of punching people, at Metal in the Meadow (Friday)
3. The Suzan and a bunch of other all-girl bands are going to be at Death By Audio for She’s United, a celebration of women in the music industry (Friday)
4. You’ve seen the comedians from Bob’s Burgers live at Splitty’s, now watch them in their natural, animated habitat at a TV party (Friday)
5. Get in line at eight in the damn morning at Brooklyn Boulders so that you can get a free four-month pass for all the rock climbing you can handle (Saturday)
6. See what your shopping options are, and get a free tree, at the Greene Hill Food Co-op’s open shopping day (Saturday)
7. Want records for just a dollar? Of course you do, you head to Black Gold Records, where you can find literally thousands of 45s and LPs for just one American dollar (Saturday)
8. The Gowanus School of Rock is opening, if you want to check it out, or maybe just go and show those kids that they’re not shit on guitar compared to you (Saturday)
9. Head to the House of Vans and adopt an adorable dog or cat from the ASPCA. Because you’re a good person, aren’t you? (Saturday)
10. Like dancing to videogame-influenced music? Well aren’t you lucky that it’s time for chiptune dance party Pulsewave once again (Saturday)
11. Get a tarot card reading and explore the dark arts at the Morgan Avenue Underground, because you gotta start praying to someone who might actually be effective in getting you cheaper rent somewhere (Saturday)
12. OH HI! Smiling TV Double Fun Friendship Fantasy Hour is a Japanese gameshow-inspired gameshow at Videology, and if that name can’t get you to go, nothing can (Saturday)
13. Greenpoint’s Coco66 has booked ten musicians to play twelve hours of Beatles songs throughout the day, in an attempt to set a rather strange Guinness World Record. See if they can do it (Sunday)
14. Get together with some fellow entrepreneurs and make some prototypes to stay in shape for when you’ll have to really make one when it counts (Sunday)
15. Fix up your bike after putting it through the ravages of winter at The Diamond’s pop-up bike repair shop. Your bike would do it for you, if it could (Sunday)
16. Celebrate William Shatner, the only Star Trek cast member to have a song written about him by The Scofflaws, with a couple weird movies he’s in at Obsolete Cinema’s Shat-show (Sunday)
17.Videogame competition Our Princess Is in Another Castle doesn’t care that everyone’s got bracket fever, they want you to catch on fire at their NBA Jam tournament (Sunday)