The badgeless guide to the 2013 Northside Festival

Why pay to do something when you could just do it for free? That’s a real question. The Northside Music Festival is pitching its tent in Williamsburg this weekend, and even though you could drop $80 to get everything you want and more, you can also save your money and just get everything you want period. Just like you, Northside rolls out of bed and gets started at around 2pm, goes all night, and is filled with cheap beer. There’s something for everyone with no money. Here’s a roundup of everything that zero dollars can get you. It’s the best deal of your life.

Thursday, June 13

Kick it off at Pete’s Candy Store with Money & King, Thunderclap!, Wilderlands, Monuments, and Bridges and Powerlines. Show starts at 8pm, doors at 7:30 if you’re not into being fashionably late. Going up against this lineup in the same spot will be Noro, Rosy Street, Jus Post Bellum, and the Great American Canyon Band.

If your sweet tooth doesn’t fancy the Candy Store, then try your luck at Spike Hill. They’ve got a huge lineup starting at 7:30 featuring Trummors, Chris Mills, MiniBoone, The City & Horses, ARMS, and Conveyor.

When you’ve had enough of the indie scene, and you’re ready to get your afterparty-party on, head over to Union Pool, where JD Samson is throwing down with PAT PARTY. Prepare yourself to sweat through all four DJ sets from JD Samson, Amber Valentine, Will Automatic, and Sveta.

If you’re finding that these events aren’t enough of a drag, head over to Sugarland at midnight for a musical number by drag persona Ruby Roo. The act promises scenes from I Love Lucy, which is great, because that show was pretty much made for retrospective drag interpretations anyway.

The NeXt Expo also starts up today. Stop by for networking opportunities that don’t suck.

Friday, June 14

Ah, Union Pool, we can always count on you. On a night where almost every show at Northside comes with a cover, 1m1w1d presents to you Ocotillo, Littlefoot, Eastern Midwestern, and Neighbors starting at 8pm.

Once you’re done at Union Pool, head over the Sugarland for yet another nightcap with Jen Urban & the Box and Hamm Sandwich.

Saturday, June 15

Get battered nice and early at Matchless. Flying Pace goes on at the dawn-cracking hour of 2pm, followed by Nature Cruise, The Meaning of Life, Eldest Son, Dead Stars, and Matte Black.

The L Magazine has determined that there are some bands that you need to hear, so if you’re curious about that, head to the Dr. Marten’s Stage on Bedford & North 3rd at 2pm for Caged Animals, Coastgaard, The Denzels, and Juniper Rising. It’s on rain or shine.

Return to Pete’s Candy Store at 4pm to catch Zachary Cale, Mappa Mundi, and Whale Belly.

Sunday, June 16

Since all the Saturday freebies are on the daytime side, you should be nice and rested by the time Stereoactive NYC and Hillytown present their 12-hour marathon at Spike Hill, starting with JPK at 1pm and continuing on until midnight with Lisa/Liza, Owel, Coalsack in Crux, Leda, Ball of Flame Shoot Fire, Cultfever, Weird Children, Sunset Hearts, MiniBoone (in case you missed them the first time), Shark?, and Clouder. Hot damn.

Come through Pete’s Candy Store once again for Jim Coleman, Half Waif, and The Bones of J.R. Jones, starting at 8:30.

And to round it all off, stop by Sugarland for one last dance with Jonathan & BPro at 11:30 and head home when they’re done at 2am. After all, you’ve got a full day of work tomorrow. 

WHAT ABOUT THOSE MCCARREN PARK SHOWS?

Both The Walkmen and Solange are playing outside at McCarren Park, on Saturday and Sunday, respectively. The shows have hit their RSVP capacity for those without a badge, and even if you RSVP’d, people with badges are guaranteed entry before they start letting in the RSVP freeloaders. So, you can wait on a line and get your heart broken, or you can sit in the park and for free and listen that way. Here’s a rigorous scientific breakdown of a couple good places to do that.

ARE THERE PARTIES?

Yes,Thursday night has some parties,  and they come with complimentary beer and wine. Just pretend you’re there to hobnob and network, and not to drink as many free beers as you can get your hands on.

The Omnigon Communications Happy Hour kicks off the orgy of free booze on Thursday night with a networking event devoted to the sports, media and entertainment industries. Tel people you work for the Mets maybe and people will realize why you need to be double fisting the complimentary Brooklyn Brewery beers. RSVP here.

The NeXT Opening Party at the Wythe Hotel is sponsored by the Wall Street Journal so see if you can’t find Dorothy Rabinowitz while you’re there and talk about bike share. Of course, maybe have a couple of the complimentary beers and wines first. This too is free with an RSVP.

The Northside Content party at indieScreen celebrates “branded content” and also doesn’t list whether there’s free beer or not. But, RSVPing is free, and maybe there will be some drinks to be had, so it couldn’t hurt to RSVP now, could it?

BUT WHAT IF I HAVE A BADGE?

Then why are you reading? As usual, you get some discounts around Williamsburg. The festival program should have all of them, but the ones we’ve seen that we like are $2 Heinekens and $10 buckets of beers at Teddy’s, $1 off beers at Bar We Love The Gibson, and if you feel the need to bowl, The Gutter will give you $1 Jameson, $1 off beers and well drinks and $3 off pitchers.