It’s spring/summer, when a young man/woman/gender fluid human’s fancy turns to thoughts of sweaty disgusting summer sex in non-air conditioned apartments. Pretend like you aren’t thinking that all you want, but we know you are and that’s okay. You might be denying it because you don’t currently have someone to do it with in a hot room, so lucky for you that Friends of Single People, the dating game where all of the eligible single people are represented by their friends answering questions like they think their single friends would, is happening tomorrow, Tuesday May 12 at 7pm at Littlefield. And because this is just the time we live in, they’re desperate for dudes to show up, so admission for guys is two-for-one. There’s a prize for other single people though: FREE VIBRATORS.
Since it’s buzzy news, we’ll start with the free vibrators. There’ll be six vibrators given away tomorrow night, courtesy of the folks from Babeland. If you want one, you just have to show up to tomorrow’s Friends of Single People and convince the crowd that you’re one of the six most single people in attendance. How you do will involve ” a very selective group interview process,” according to host Jo Firestone, so try to think of some sad things about your singledom like putting your arm around an invisible date in the empty chair next to you at the movies maybe. Also if you’re aiming for the free vibrator, don’t connect with anyone at the pre-festivity boozy group speed dating which will be happening from 7pm to 8pm
As for the two-for-one dude tickets, the deal is that the show needs dudes of any orientation so that people who want to kiss guys have someone to try to get matched up with. To try to make that happen, two guys will get in for the price of one if you buy a door ticket, so suddenly that $8 ticket becomes a $4 ticket. You can either bring a friend to rep you and get him in for half-price or you can bring someone to provide competition for the affections of another, if that’s what you’re into. And man isn’t $4 a cheap price to pay for the possibility of true love or at least the fleeting feeling of not being so alone for a few hours? We certainly think so!