You might not even be thinking about it, since it’s February and it’s TEN GODDAMN DEGREES OUT, but baseball is closer than you think. In fact, after today, it will be just 31 days until the New York Mets kick off their season and their totally rational believable march towards 90 wins. Snark aside, the Mets already have one victory this year, with team captain David Wright being named “The Face of MLB.” To celebrate this victory, the Mets are selling a whole bunch of $5 tickets for their April 4 game against the Reds (since David Wright is number 5).
Woah, $5 Mets tickets? And without a Groupon? Go get ’em now, before someone else gets the Mets tickets that are rightfully yours. Plus, not only do you get to see the Mets play the Cincinnati Reds and polite Canadian first baseman Joey Votto, you also get a free David Wright t-shirt. Finally, you can stop wearing the same shirt every day!
The seats are of course, the cheapest in the park, the “Promenade Outfield,” known in plain English as “way the hell out in left field.” Of course, if Wright really mashes the crap out of a ball, you could theoretically wind up catching a home run ball from the captain. Also! Come on, the Mets really might be good this year. If Wilmer Flores can play shortstop, and Juan Lagares can be an average offensive player, and Ike Davis doesn’t shit the bed, this team could really make some noise. Cut us some slack here, it’s February, we’re allowed to dream big.
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If Bartolo Colon doesn’t spontaneously explode, if Lucas Duda gets that dumbass look off his face, if Terry Collins doesn’t turn into Casey Stengel, if Wilmer Flores isn’t really 42, if Mr. Met hits 40 home runs, if Jeff Wilpon loses his “little man” complex. It’s almost March.