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Don’t go shopping, win these gift prizes at tonight’s No Office Holiday Party instead!

Too broke for presents? The #NoOffice raffle is here to help. 2012 party photo by Sarah Bibi Gainer.

Let’s say you listened to sound, compassionate advice and didn’t get up at 6am on Black Friday to trample your fellow humans in pursuit of a flat-screen television. Good for you! But now you’re sitting there looking at your long Christmas list and your shortage of cash and wondering: how ever am I going to get gifts for all these fine people who I don’t wish any specific harm to? Well you’re in luck, because the third annual No Office Holiday Party, co-hosted by us, the skint and Greenpointers, comes complete with a holiday gift items raffle provided from some of our favorite local vendors! Check the list of items below — which ranges from food to tattoos to sexy cab drivers. And don’t forget to get tix in advance for the party tonight, which also features special guest comedian Mike Lawrence!

-$40 to Adelina’s, Greenpoint
-$25 to The Diamond, Greenpoint
-Two tickets to Natasha Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
-Two tickets to Point Break Live!
-Two tickets to any show at Brooklyn Bowl (except sold-out shows)
-Biggie instant disguise hat from Urban Cricket
Super Mario Bros. Subway map from RIPT Apparel
2014 NYC Taxi Beefcake Calendar from LIVE432
My Brooklyn on DVD
-2 his and hers orgasm in a box kits from Babeland
Very Recent Historybook by The Awl’s Choire Sicha
One-year membership to Bushwick’s Mellow Pages Library
-Sampler pack of heavy metal nut butters from Better Off Spread
-Four drinks tickets ($6 each) to this very party tonight from Littlefield!
-$100 towards tattoos from Mikee of NY Hardcore Tattoos (a shop fully endorsed by Team Brokelyn)

Tim Donnelly :