The temperature is rising, the pheromones are secreting, and your partner is looking finnneeee as hell as she sips on some rosé at your bestie’s rooftop karaoke party. What’s a horny couple to do? The stars at night are small and lackluster, deep in the heart of Brooklyn, making the side fire escape look like a perfect outdoor oasis for a quick romp.
Don’t worry, you are not alone, your need to have sex with your beau NOW is a feeling we have all endured and many have succumbed to – but only a few are brave enough to retell the tale. The bravest of the brave honored me with their craziest sexual encounters and thus, may I present to you: The wildest places your fellow neighbors have boned.
TL;DR: basically everywhere.
Roof of a Bushwick hostel
“I was drinking a few with a young lady in Bushwick one summer night, and we decided to investigate the rumor that the hostel in Bushwick had a hot tub. We tailgated in the door right past security and snooped around a bit on a few of the floors. We saw no signs of a hot tub but we did find an open window that led to a roof. We started making out and, you know, when on a hostel roof in Bushwick …” – Thomas
Trash Bar (RIP)
“I hooked up with a coworker in the bathroom at Trash Bar after taking full advantage of the hour of free drinks before a show.” – Ben
Toilet of a gay bar
“We went to a bar and he then suggested we’d go to a gay bar and I was like yeah okay, let’s do it. He kind of suggests he wants to have sex and I’m starting to get drunk so I’m like, meh. We go to another gay bar – he was really big into gay bars – I go for a cigarette my friend follows me and starts finger-banging me in the back-garden and I’m like, how ’bout we find us a classy toilet and do the sex. He agrees but we’re both so drunk we forgot how to be subtle so it takes us five trips to the toilet before we manage to both get into the same toilet.” – Sam
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Fire Escape
“Bed-Stuy fire escape (not mine), above Voudoo, I think!” –Kelly
Under the Brooklyn Bridge
“Me and friend with benefits were jogging along the Brooklyn Bridge Park on a Saturday morning where I couldn’t resist looking at her ass as she was jogging. When she noticed I wasn’t running at her pace, she looked back, [I] told her, ‘I want you now at this moment,’ and asked her if you was willing to get fucked under the Brooklyn Bridge. She agreed and we found a secluded spot and we made out and fucked for 15 minutes.” –Danny
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Under the Manhattan Bridge
“On a lovely spring evening my ex and I decided to have date night in DUMBO. We got so excited with each other on the ride there that we decided to pull over to ‘take care of business’. We got out of the SUV at what looked like a road along a desolate Navy Yard and he laid me over the hood of the truck under the stars. The excitement of cars passing by mid act added to the magic of that night. Ironically, we were literally ‘Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass’. He always said he saw pedestrians above clapping and cheering us on.” – Michelle
Parents house in Sheepshead Bay
“It was Cinco de Mayo and my husband and I were visiting my parents in Brooklyn. We had decided to try to have a baby and of course I was fertile while visiting them. We were staying in what was my parent’s old bedroom before they switched to the room I grew up in. We were spooning to not make any noise and of course my mother walked in on us, asking if we wanted bagels for breakfast the next day. (Brooklyn, Jewish, of course we did). And that is the night we conceived our son.” – Carole
Swingers party
“On a very cold winter night I went all the way to Park Slope for a gay/lesbian/trans swinger party. At time I was living in the Village and I traveled all the way to Brooklyn to get fucking laid. Now, when you walk[ed] inside it was a requirement that everyone had to be naked at least down to underwear and bra. I ended up in the backroom with a married couple in their 40’s from CT that travels for parties.” – Christopher
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Lifeguard chair at Coney Island
“I went on a second date with a guy to Coney Island. Our first date was incredibly classy and cute, so naturally we decided to bring a jug of wine to a beach for our second date. We got wrecked and fucked on a lifeguard chair at two in the morning.” – Lana
This post has been updated, originally published in 2017.