Amazon Prime Day is today and it’s the most nakedly modern holiday, in that it’s entirely built around separating you from your money as you buy crap you probably don’t need (and it skips the pretenses of being tied to religion or appreciating your mother). The day is filled with deals if you’re an Amazon Prime member, and the deals this year seem to be actually decent compared to last year’s yard sale of trash. Do we like Amazon, they of the war against publishers and awful work conditions? IDK any more but it is my no. 1 place to get episodes of The Flash so maybe it’s a little ok.
So we’ll let others point you to the best deals overall: You’re here because you’re asking yourself: How can I use my membership to this internet superstore to get crap that shows how much I love Brooklyn? Well here are the best (relatively) Brooklyn-related items to spend your money on.
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Amy Coe Baby Boys’ Brooklyn 2 Piece Pant Set, for your future insufferable child.
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Goorin Bros. Men’s Brooklyn NY Baseball cap, if you want everyone to know hey I like hats but not any particular sports team and I like Brooklyn but not anything more than the most obvious image that even a baby from Guadalajara could look at at say “hey, that must be from Brooklyn.”
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Notorious B.I.G. Men’s It’s The Brooklyn Way Adult T-Shirt. It’s true that when Biggie died his last words were “remember me most in T shirts sold on an internet discount portal’s made-up holiday, modeled by white guys.”
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Nets NBA Men’s Full logo t-shirt. The price is actually the amount Amazon pays you to be seen wearing this in public.
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Fodor’s Brooklyn (2015 Travel Guide), finally a way to know what’s going on in Brooklyn. But wait you’re already reading Brokelyn so why would you buy this? HARD PASS.
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Run All Night (Blu-ray). It’s about a Brooklyn gangster doing … I dunno what, but you can bet Liam Neesons is gonna point a gun at someone really dramatically at some point, upset that something has been taken away from him that he wants back (not to be confused with Taken).
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Modern Jewish Cooking: Recipes & Customs for Today’s Kitchen (hardcover), written by Brooklyn author Leah Koenig. Hey if you’re into Jewish cooking, this deal is matzo bad.
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Cobian Women’s Brooklyn sandal. WTF is a Brooklyn sandal that’s not a thing right.
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Brooklyn Royal Giants negro league baseball hat. Honor the history of negro league baseball in NYC with this hat, which Amazon decided to not model on a white guy.
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CafePress Light T-Shirt – Park Slope Brooklyn Light T-Shirt: A shirt that screams “I live in Park Slope but also don’t really care about what I wear just grab anything out of the drawer, I’m just going to tuck it into jeans anyway.”
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Kenneth Cole New York Men’s Williamsburg Stripe Knit Trunk. Sadly, this Williamsburg style has since been torn down and replaced by much more expensive condominium briefs. You’ll be asked to vacate the underwear by the first of the month.
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A whole bunch of Coney Island books (and, uh, a pillow). Read up on Coney Island, there’s worse things to read about this summer!