If Joe Lhota’s ads are to be believed (and when has a political ad ever bent the truth?), the election of Bill de Blasio will usher New York into a dystopian, crime-ridden hellhole not seen in over 20 years. So in that case, we’d better star looking in to protecting ourselves. For those of us that don’t want to keep a butterfly knife on their person, might we suggest kickboxing, which you can learn at a steep discount thanks to this Amazon deal.
Pay $19 dollars for the four classes at one of four Brooklyn locations, which are valued at $100, and soon you’ll be kicking people right in the face when they say things like “Your money or your life!”, “Hand over the jewelry!” and “Excuse me, do you know to get to Sixth Avenue is from here?” You’ll be feared from Bensonhurst to Riverdale, and all because you know how to punch and kick someone’s head off at the exact same time. And if it just so happens that New York doesn’t become a fiery pit of muggings, rapes and murders, well at least you’ll have gotten some really good exercise.