W’burg community board puts kibosh on Urban Outfitters liquor license

Bad news for those of you who were hoping to enjoy concoctions like The Tin Monkey, the Bushwick Mary and the Etsy Bitsy Biter: Williamsburg’s Community Board 1, acting agains the interests of all jokey bloggers everywhere, denied recommending Urban Outfitters get their liquor license. Thanks guys, now where will we find our jokes?

The reasons for the denial from CB1 mostly centered around Williamsburg residents wondering why exactly you need to be drinking while shopping at an Urban Outfitters. To which we say, “Haven’t you ever been in one?” Still got it! Residents seemed put off by Urban Outfitters’ plans to make their store not just a place to shop for accessories for your college-aged sibling, but also a destination spot, with a restaurant, rooftop and music venue.

The meeting, which DNA Info described as divided between “impassioned Urban Outfitters staff and perturbed local residents,” (and how fun does that sound?), sounded like it consisted mostly of UO representatives trying to walk back how they marketed the awesomeness of a clothing shop with booze and CB1 representatives not believing their trackbacks. The fate of Shit Your Dad Drinks and other cocktails now lies with the State Liquor Authority, though DNA Info points out that they rarely go against community board recommendations. Guess you’ll just have to drink and shop the old fashioned way: with a flask in your pocket.