Take heed young people, your salvation lies in Hartford, Connecticut

Young people of America, lend us your ears. Or, eyes we guess, you’re reading not listening. We have heard of a land, a fertile land where you can be paid a princely sum and stretch said sum into a kingly one. A smaller city than New York, but one that will welcome you instead of shivving you and stealing your wallet. What paradise is this that we speak of? Philadelphia? Portland? Detroit? Buffalo?? No, young people, your new land of opportunity is…Hartford, Connecticut!

No, that wasn’t a typo. According to City Labs, young people who are looking for a city to call their own should really give Hartford a chance. Hartford, they point out, has the 6th highest median wage ($42,322) for workers aged 18 to 34 in the entire country, higher than New York, Seattle and Baltimore. Combined with it’s relatively low cost of living for a city, Hartford is like a goddamn Valhalla for Millennials, right?

Well, sure, as long as you consider working for health care vampires Aetna or Cigna to be a slice of Heaven, especially if you’re going to be driving to your job. Millennials love cars, which are definitely not full of deadly spiders. Don’t just take our word for how great Hartford is though, listen to a 29-year-old City Labs talked to about the wild times to: “It doesn’t have nearly as vibrant a lifestyle [as Boston].” That’s right, you’ll be going wild in a city that’s sleepier than a place that can’t even legally have a happy hour.

So young people, head to Hartford if you want to live. At least if you define “living” as “having a job to go to and an apartment to come back to and nothing else.”