Men’s apparel company seeks ‘handsome hipster’

Do people commonly refer to you by adjectives that pigeonhole your social identity into a poorly-generalized subsection of Brooklyn counterculture? Are you a mustachioed criminal?

If so, these guys, an unnamed men’s apparel startup, are looking for “gents” to stand around “from time to time” and model the company’s clothing. Not just any kind of gents though: “handsome hipster” types, as their Craigslist ad reveals.

Their “handsome hipster” is a skinny photogenic person who falls within the 5’10” to 6’1″ range, but is also just a nice guy. It’s a dude who rocks 32″ jeans and t-shirts in medium or large. Not too short, not too tall. Not too big, not too small. Think Goldilocks, if Goldilocks was a cool, scruffy-blonde dude with sleeves and a man bun.

BONUS HIPSTERS are beard-endowed, tattoo-proud and funny. (Other hipsters are just average hipsters.)

What you really want to know though, is how much this pays. The ad is offering $150 per 3-hour session. $50/hour to support your hip, 160 lb. lifestyle, and you just have to stand around looking like you. All you gotta do is send them your Facebook profile, a note about why this sounds fun and the best way to get in touch with you. BONUS POINTS if the best way to get in touch with you is by message in a bottle.

But for the love of all that is holy, be careful. These are the kind of people who cap their ads with the word “Rawk.”