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    Categories: News

There’s something kind of…off about the GOP’s hipster trash outreach guy

You got a little uh, thing above your lip there. No, no, never mind

The Republican Party is doing some youth outreach ahead of the midterm election, which if you don’t know, could swing the Senate to the Republicans and cast us into two years of Affordable Care Act repeals being passed and then vetoed over and over again. They’re taking this so seriously that they’ve got a couple videos starring a self-proclaimed Republican who’s hip, just like you kids, with your skinny jeans and leather jackets and uh, Hitler mustaches. He’s cool! But you know what isn’t cool? Regulations! Or the vague idea of regulations, anyway.

You know what IS cool though? An insistence on sticking with environment-destroying  non-renewable resources that are eventually gonna run out, because fuck it, who needs to start planning for that day? We’ll be dead!

I’m not James Carville or Paul Begala (thank god), but if I were the DNC, I’d counter with young person and small business owner Eddie Cedeño who owns a Bushwick coffee shop and in this interview espouses the belief that “Communism and community are the same thing.” Will they actually do that? No, because the Democratic Party is mostly a group of corporate stooges with no skills aside from the ability to turn gold into shit. Anyway, don’t forget to vote in November!

David Colon :

View Comments (11)

  • Nicely done. My only minor quibble is with the word "mostly" in the second-to-last line. But I get it.

  • I've got my Halloween costume this year! Will start growing out Hitler-stache now, everything else is already in my closet.

  • I like this guy's thinking on an "all of the above" energy policy. We could burn the homeless and poor for heat and fuel. Bam! We just killed two birds with one stone!

    • Holy F*CK! The guy actually seems like SOMETHING OF A BIG SHOT in the entertainment and social media world!!

      How is he making so little money that he has to, "check my bank account before I fill up"? Lol! LIARRRRRRR

      It seems fairly obvious that he SHOULD'VE been paid pretty well for all the gigs he's gotten over the years! I mean... working with and representing a TRIPLE PLATINUM band, for one ? Surely they would've paid him a pretty good amount for that alone? Where is this money going? Is he PARTYING IT AWAY or some sh*t?

      And this nonsense about how he, "feel pretty lucky to have a job"? hahahaha

      YOU'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD RESUME ALREADY, IT SEEMS, Scott! Of COURSE you have a job...

      Am I missing something? Besides... this squirrely-looking hipster w/ his goofy glasses, absurd shirt and leather jacket is a "big representative for many entertainment moguls and artists"? lol
      Or maybe that's just his "non-work attire", who knows

      I would've thought he was random guy working at McDonald's with the way he talked about how "sooo much" of his money goes to gas. I work a $9/hour job w/ a 25-mile commute (50 per day), and I only pay about $35 a week to fill up my tank at about $3.40 or $3.50/gallon. Even considering higher prices in, say, D.C., unless his car is REALLY fuel-inefficient, I'm not buying it. I'm sure he spends way more on his apartment alone.

  • It seems like this guy's either just a BAD ACTOR who didn't properly rehearse his lines, so it's EVER-SO-OBVIOUS he's reading from cue cards, or he's PRETENDING to be a Republican for some cash... Notice how he seems to say "Republican" in what seems to be a very FORCED manner o.O

    And why does he says, "for THIS country" and point downward??

    Uh... yeah. You're in an ad for the AMERICAN GOP! What other nation's "energy policy" would you possibly be referring to?

    And shale oil...? Don't make me laugh! That sh*t is INCREDIBLY expensive to extract, so it's not very cost-efficient. Oh, right... He said "shale gas." The f*ck is shale GAS??

    Have we ever had shale "gas" in our gas stations?? Shale is ALSO A TYPE OF OIL, dimwit! ;)

  • I'm also curious as to how he thinks an "all-of-the-above energy policy" will somehow lead to "drastically lower prices in the near future"? hahaha

    Isn't that what he seems to be implying, esp. after the first 3 sentences?

  • really really really bad acting! its like they did one shot. Im know actor but i can do stuff way better than this!!

  • I am convinced this is a viral marketing/PR stunt for a sequel to 'They Live'.