1. You can talk about yogurt and eat yogurt at Greene Grape Annex’s Get Cultured tasting, but please don’t multitask and choke. (Monday)
2. See Lynas and Dapwell of Das Racist play whatever they feel like playing at Friends and Lovers’ Budz. (Monday)
3. Stand up for something this week, like jokes with Comedy Central’s Drew Fraser and Liza Treyger at The Paper Box. (Monday)
4. Let your inner art genius run free as you create tiny masterpieces at Mixed Media Art Play Workshop at Windsor Terrace Library. (Tuesday)
5. Become BFF’s with SNL’s Brandon Scott Wolf and Girl Code’s Christi Chiello as they hustle for your LOLs at Legion Bar. (Tuesday)
6. If you miss the Cinnamon Snail truck, check out the release party for their cookbook at powerHouse Arena, where you can learn to cook the vegan grub you love and the truck itself will be parked outside from 6pm to 9pm. (Tuesday)
7. The Bullshit Olympics aren’t just what you call your job, it’s also a space where art school pretension flourishes at Videology. (Wednesday)
8. Belt out Adele before a captive audience at Freddy’s Karaoke. (Wednesday)
9. Hear brave tales from Carl Foreman and David Hill, then make them listen to your jokes and stories at Split Personality Comedy. (Thursday)
10. Get a free bike helmet at the Brooklyn Public Library, courtesy of the Department of Transportation, and protect your head. You need it to live after all. (Thursday)
11. Hear a live read of Andy Kaufman’s unproduced Tony Clifton Story, the tale of the least loveable lounge singer who ever existed. (Thursday)
12. Evan Francis Group is bringing Cortelyou big-band Afro-Cuban music to create Bar Chord Social Club. (Thursday)
13. Get old school with classic and underground hip-hop at Tasty Beats & Tasty Brews at Threes Brewing. (Thursday)
14. Learn more about bedbugs than you might even be comfortable with at the release party for Brooke Borel’s bloodsucker history Infested. (Thursday)
15. If you like Puddles the Cat Comedian at Over the Eight, feel free to express your approval with a loving headbutt. (Friday)
16. Head On is back with Business Vs. Pleasure, the DJ battle at the Grand Victory that sounds like a license to finally get that mullet. (Friday)
17. Celebrate instrumental innovation with the Salt Cracker Crazies’ jug band sound at The Way Station. (Friday)