You’ve read enough Encyclopedia Brown to be able to figure out that the likely culprit in The Case Of The Disappearing Alcohol, including even your peanut butter cheesecake flavored vodka from 2013, is the person who lives in your apartment with you. This is probably the same person who still uses those hideous glass marble bongs and still values their flip-cup trophy. They might never outgrow their frequently intoxicated state of being, but at least you can steer them from beer pong to beer flights. Help them put the high in high brow with these gifts from the unique vendors at Williamsburg’s Artists & Fleas, open Saturdays and Sundays from 10am until 7pm.
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Bourbon + Vanilla Mulled Wine Kit, Woodward Extract and Co.
Your roomie now adheres to the “second cheapest wine” rule…at Trader Joe’s. They can still class up their more-than-three-buck chuck (or apple cider!) by making mulled wine with this pairing of mulling spices and bourbon-infused vanilla extract. Hopefully your roommate will realize that the aroma of mulling spices in the apartment is preferable to the stench of dried beer.
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Here is a subtle way of asking your roommate to alert you when they are high while cooking. When they have the apron on, you’ll know it’s time to hide the deep fryer. Now you’ll discover in real time that “Party Soup” is really just simmered Party Mix, and be able to intercede when they attempt to grill macarons. Bonus points if they’re the type of BUDding cook (see what I did there?) with the skill and forethought to make those fabulous macarons before hitting the vape.
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Beer Tasting Flight Sampling Paddle With Glasses, JT Woodworks
Anything is classier in flight-form. This flight sampling paddle includes glasses so you can hide the cans of Tecate, Natty Light, and Genny Cream Ale you used to fill them up. Your guests will never know that the beer trio is more bodega than home-brew, as long as you don’t share. Also, if your roommate tries to nab your booze again … that’s a paddlin!
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Hemp Beard Balm, Real Bearded Men
No part of the hemp plant will go to waste here! Your roommate can have the fun of being subversive about his love of weed in a way that’s not by putting hemp leaf-shaped pillows on the couch or playing Slightly Stoopid. Real Bearded Men products are made in the USA, just like where he thinks his weed is from. Plus, his beard must be dried out from all of that smoking.
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Brushed Stainless Steel Flask, Curated Basics
This understated flask doesn’t have rhinestones or cute jokes about being perpetually drunk on the outside that plague your roommate’s one from the second Bush administration. It’s a vessel for cognac rather than schnapps. It’s discreet enough to sneak where alcohol is generally prohibited (but desperately needed) — like stadiums, mass transit and baby showers — while being handsome enough to display at home.
Grab these gifts and more at Williamsburg’s Artists & Fleas, 70 North 7th St., Brooklyn, weekends from 10am–7pm.