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Eat a 30lb burrito to own part of a Park Slope taqueria

Sure, eat this. What could go wrong?

There’s nothing we love as much as a gimmicky way to become the owner of a restaurant. After all, why work hard and sweat and take enormous risks when you can just write an essay, pay a small entrance fee and potentially be able to start picking people up by sidling up next to them and saying, “Would you like to get something to eat at my restaurant, THAT I OWN?” That being said, this new restaurant ownership sweepstakes gimmick has a bit more of a risk than usual, because you have to eat an entire 30-pound burrito in an hour in order to get partial ownership of Park Slope’s Don Chingon.

Food and Wine reports that this ridiculous opportunity to get a piece of a restaurant is absolutely real, although you might want to think long and hard before actually attempting it. If you eat the 30-pound Gran Chingon burrito, which is made up of chicken, choirzo, steak, carnitas, beans, rice, cheese and salsa (what, no sour cream?), in one hour or less, you get 10% ownership of the Park Slope taqueria that currently has four and a half stars on Yelp. You’ll be able to stroll in to the restaurant and undertake the insane challenge starting on Monday, October 19, so you’ve got a week to sign a living will in case the attempt puts you into a coma and to get your stomach in shape. Here’s some inspiration from one of America’s finest living eaters:

Is there a catch? Well, there’s always a catch, and the first is that the burrito will cost you $150. The second is that in addition to punishing your body with 30 pounds of meat and cheese in one sitting, you also have to drink a ghost pepper margarita during your endurance test. The third catch is that you can’t go to the bathroom or let any bodily fluid escape your moth, nose or uh…other holes. That one could be the biggest challenge you face, according to an anonymous medical professional we asked about the effects of finishing this challenge. “I assume you’d throw up,” she told us. “Think of eating 120 quarter pounders from McDonald’s. You’d probably fall over. It’s not a good idea.”

Then again, we’re not in the business of counseling you on whether an idea is good or not! We also asked an employee at Don Chingon what winning 10% ownership of the restaurant entitles you to exactly, and he told us that you get 10% of all the profits as well as $100 of food per week from the restaurant. Is that worth the risk of puking on yourself and shitting yourself while people watch and cheer you on? Hey, GG Allin did it for a living, and he had to do it every day, not just once.

David Colon :