1. Get a brief bit of power by judging other people’s short films at Passenger Bar’s Monday Movie Night short film competition (Monday)
2. Get your monthly requirement of dizzying wordplay made up on the spot at Freestyle Mondays at Spike Hill (Monday)
3. Comedy show Apocalypse Wow is going through their own spring rebirth, but unlike your frustrating search for an apartment, theirs involves a set by Inside Amy Schumer head writer Jessi Klein (Monday)
4. The Brooklyn Historical Society is showing Slavery by Another Name, a documentary that explores how even after the Civil War, shockingly, conditions weren’t great for black people (Tuesday)
5. Figurative bomb thrower (and former literal pie thrower) Matt Taibbi will be at powerHouse Arena talking about his new book on income inequality (Tuesday)
6. Greenlight Books’ Cookbook Club is discussing Southern cookbook The Lee Bros. Charleston Cookbook, so bring a recipe to fry up a mess o’catfish to share with the group (Tuesday)
7. Emmy Blotnick will be leading the people’s glorious revolution in comedy at People’s Republic of Brooklyn’s Manifesto, so check it out if you want to part of the comedy vanguard (Tuesday)
8. Head to WORD to learn about Emma Gatewood, the first woman who ever walked the Appalachian Trail, so you can be impressed and sad about what you won’t accomplish when you’re old (Wednesday)
9. Beerded Ladies are back at Glorietta Baldy for more beer geek trivia, so if you think you know beer, fucking prove it, buddy (Wednesday)
10. Atlas Magazine is releasing their fifteenth issue at 61 Local with a few collaborative performances. We think that means all the writers talk over each other in pairs? (Wednesday)
11. Head to the Brooklyn Public Library to support Chinese literary voices censored by their government, because you’d want Chinese liberals to do the same for you if the situation were reversed (Thursday)
12. Celebrate this year’s batch of beer books, ask bartenders the questions you’ve always been afraid to ask and party with us and Rosie Schaap at The Graham at Hey Bartender! (Thursday)
13. High falutin’ literary comedy night Steamboat will be playing around with the Portlandia activity book, but that’s mostly because there isn’t a Brokelandia activity book yet (Thursday)
14. Because winter is the worst and we’re sick of it, pop into Film Biz Recycling’s “Fuck Winter” vintage pop up store to celebrate our latest victory over the season (Friday)
15. Pretend you’re cultured by swinging by the opening night of a photo exhibit of 25 years worth of nude photos. We know you just wanna see the naked people though, it’s OK (Friday)
16. Get to a happy hour at Babeland early so that you can get a goodie bag full of sex stuff. We can’t help you on finding someone to use it with though (Friday)
17. Maybe bring the goodie bag to a music video make-out party at Videology. They’ve got spring fever after all, and that leads to poor decision making all around (Friday)
18. Or take your Friday in a different, warmer direction, at The Diamond Bar’s reggae night with number one groove selector, Soul Imperial (Friday)