1. Once again it’s time for Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction at Union Hall, the competition that determines ew gross Jesus what is wrong with you (Friday)
2. The Living Room Stand-Up Comedy Show is Brooklyn’s longest-running sketch and stand-up show, or so they say. Go check out how they’ve stuck around, since it is free after all (Friday)
3. You liked the first Exorcist, so you’ll have to love a free screening of The Exorcist III three times as much. That’s how it works with sequels, right? (Friday)
4. You’ve messed around in an unofficial capacity all week, so make it official by dancing to soul and funk at The Rock Shop’s Mess Around dance party (Friday)
5. Celebrate the life of the Notorious B.I.G. with a party in his honor at Littlefield. It’s the least we can do, since he’s probably not getting that street named after him (Friday)
6. Enter into the world of a living comic book as Launchpad is transformed for the book launch of (H)afrocentric, Volume 3 (Saturday)
7. You might think of the day after Friday as Saturday, but that’s Mister Saturday to you if you’re nasty, or you want to dance (Saturday)
8. Everything is Terrible brings their found footage to Spectacle Theater for a night of weird video clips about God and religious people. Weirder than the usual ones, we mean (Saturday)
9. Indie dance party Mondo knows you’ve been suffering through winter, so they’re here with a dance party that they hope will summon spring (Saturday)
10. It’s the one time of the month when the oppressed gluten-free people of Brooklyn can come out of hiding and by catered to by a pop-up shop at Freddy’s (Sunday)
11. If you’re dreading let go of True Detective after Sunday, the Silent Barn is hosting an all-day season-long marathon ending with the season finale, along with readings from The King in Yellow (Sunday)
12. A free women’s self-defense class is a good thing to invest in now that we’re living in the age of #deblasiosnewyork. Actually men are awful under EVERY mayor (Sunday)
13. We’ve had rants, think pieces, #longform essays and editorials about gentrification, so sure, let’s get some comedy about it, which you can get at a taping of the second season premiere of LNNY (Sunday)